"If I could see..."

"If I could see
what the angel see,
I'd see that Love
will conquer hate,
there's always hope
it's not too late,
I'd find the Truth
is easy to believe..."

She's done it again. And once more, with a song from her new CD, How Mercy Looks from Here. Amy Grant's "If I Could See (What the Angels See)," was just the ticket this week.

Years ago I had a Sunday School teacher who suggested that if every time we were tempted to use the word "If..." with regard to God,  instead we used, "Since..." we would be on solid holy ground.  

For example:  "If God is good, and God is all, then all is good," can be read, "Since God is good, and God is all, then all is good."  When it comes to God, she said, there is no "if."   I've been practicing this for decades now, and it's almost like thinking in another language.

So when I heard Amy's new song, "If I Could See What Angels See," I naturally translated it and heard, "Since I can see what angels see..."

This song became a prayer of affirmation, a rock on which to stand, an overlook from which I could see things with clarity and spiritual vision.

This was a particularly helpful prayer as my heart leapt into action in praying for the children, parents, teachers, families, first responders, volunteers, and rescue workers in Moore, Oklahoma this week.

Mary Baker Eddy, in her Glossary of spiritual terms at the back of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, defines the word, "Angel" as:

"God's thoughts passing to man,
spiritual intuitions, pure and perfect,
the inspirations of
goodness, purity, and immortality..." 

In assuring us that these angels, or intuitions, are spiritual she is reminding us that they, like Spirit, are everywhere. They are not confined to one faith-tradition. They are not personal, but impartial and universal. They suffuse every moment with hope, every action with kindness, every word with encouragement, every heart with faith, every thought with intuition, wisdom, and clarity of direction.

The morning after the tornado hit Moore I was feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of the situation. As I stood at the kitchen window I noticed a small bird's nest that had fallen during the storm the night before. I knew right away that it was the nest a pair of small birds had been building in the crook of a tree nearby. I walked outside, gently picked it up and returned it to it's place. This morning I noticed them feathering their nest again, readying for the eggs that would soon appear.

There are no ideas in the universe of Mind that are too small, no communities that are too isolated, no homes too fragile to be precious and dear to our Father-Mother God.

We are all receptive to the angels of His Presence. These angels populate every mental molecule of the universe. Nothing is beyond their control, no one is lost to them, there is no place so devastated, no moment so terrifying that they cannot reach to comfort the frightened and give wise council to those who feel disoriented.

This has been my prayer this week: that we can all see, hear, feel, know, trust -- like angels.

offered with Love,

Kate

"Everything in its time..."

"...Some folks try astrology,
some turn to crystal balls...
To find an answer,
to get through it all.
I just fall on my knees
and I try to pray, and
and in the silence I can hear Him say,

'The river runs, and the river hides,
out to the ocean, and under the sky.
I promise you, the answer will come.
Hold on to patience, and watch for the sign,
...Everything in its time..."
- Corinne May

Sometimes I get so impatient with God.  I want to know when...and how, and what, and who.  I find myself asking, "When will you tell me what you want from me?  When will I know, what I need to know next?  Where should I be and what will I do there?" 

This Corinne May song, "Everything in Its Time," is such a great reminder.  It assures me that I can surrender my timetable, and trust His omniscient plan. 

This trust, in God's itinerary, must have been at the core of one 12-year old boy's willingness to walk away from his "Father's business," when his mother interrupted his trajectory, and asked him to continue walking his journey with her for a while longer.  (Luke 2: 40 - 52)  It must have been hard for him, to set aside his own  sense of purpose.  But it was this overarching spiritual purpose, and his willingness to surrender, that his mother "held in her heart," while he matured into the fullness of His Father's promise. 

And it didn't happen over Spring Break,  that "while longer" lasted another eighteen years.  Eighteen years of trusting that the conversation, which he began in the temple with rabbis and doctors, would resume "in its time."

I have been thinking about this...a lot...lately, the surrender of mortal timetables, for the acceptance of an unseen, but certain, promise of divine unfoldment. It is a spiritual posture that requires a willingness to truly trust in the eternality of Life.  It requires a grasp of the fact that we are never, ever, simply poised on a random point along a narrow, limited mortal timeline, but we are always traveling along an infinite spiritual vector. 

A "vector," as I learned from Mark, the nurse I met in a mountain clinic one Sunday morning, is a "line" that has a well-established starting point, and clearly defined direction, but no destination.  A vector continues on infinitely in this unalterable direction...sometimes intersecting with other vectors -- creating points of significance along the way...but never reaching a final destination.

I like thinking of a river in this way. It starts from the mountaintop and flows towards the sea. It doesn't stop when it reaches a lake, a boulder, a mountain...it may eddy for a while...but eventually, it just continues its flow towards the sea.

These points of intersection and significance may often seem like destinations reached, challenges faced, relationships beginning/ending, or tasks accomplished, but they are really only...ever...moments of profound God-based self-discovery, opportunities for lessons in grace, orchestrated rests filled with deep listening, and instances of salvation --  divine "ahas," in which we realize that we are never alone, without purpose, or recourse.

I am gently yielding to this version of living, in which I am simply an eager student along a God-drawn spiritual vector.  I love having a clearly defined starting point for every relationship, activity, and desire. There is real peace in letting go of destinations and outcomes, while staying completely focused on retracing and starting out, each moment as needed, from my one "true north"...God.   It is a divine discipline to constantly be recalibrating my steps according to my true direction...the "hows" of my life...kindness, honesty, integrity, trust, respect, meekness, patience, compassion.

Remarkably, Mary Baker Eddy has given me the clearest, and most profoundly useful, and unfailing instruction for this new approach to spiritual orienteering in her statement:

"The starting point of divine Science is that God, Spirit,
is All-in-all, and there is no other might nor Mind."

This starting point, together with the well-defined MORAL. compass she outlines on page 115 of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures:

MORAL.  Humanity, honesty, affection, compassion, hope, faith, meekness, temperance.

have been critical as I've struck out on this journey towards infinitely greater spiritual trust and discovery-based self-awareness that is rooted in my understanding of God. 

One of the questions I have been asking myself, as it relates to direction, is, "what is it that tells me when I am, truly, on the right path?" And one of the answers that revealed itself in prayer, and which feels most authentic, comes from a much-referred to (on this blog) Sara Groves' song titled, "Add to the Beauty," in which she says,

"I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story.
I want to shine with the light
that's burning up inside me..."

That better,  beautiful story, for me, is always going to be the one in which God is the only hero, and the light of His love illumines every narrative, every bit of dialogue, every inner landscape with self-knowledge, humility, love, and grace.

I know that, as long as I keep my starting point, and my moral compass, clearly in focus...I will never get lost in the quicksand of self.  And that I will experience, "Everything In Its Time," because, on a vector, I have an eternity...infinity...to discover all that He has in store for me, and mine, and all...everything exactly as it should be...in its time.

more on spiritual vectors in future posts, but for now...with Love,
Kate
Kate Robertson, CS

[photo credit: Nathaniel Wilder 2010]

"...guide us with your grace..."

"I pray you'll be our eyes,
and watch us where we go
And help us to be wise,
in times when we don't know
Let this be our prayer,
when we lose our way
Lead us to the place,
guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe..."

I wrote this piece a few weeks ago and set it aside, not quite ready to share my heart so openly on a subject that feels so close.  But today it feels right, so here goes:

It was four in the morning and I found myself looking for something to bridge the sadness gap in my heart.  And somwhere between praying for my family, and opening my heart to listen for the world's cry of hunger, I was led to this version of "The Prayer." as sung by Sandi Patty and her husband, Don Peslis.

Sandi Patty is a contemporary Christian singer with the voice of an angel, and a personal story that almost destroyed her career.  In 1992 she divorced her first husband, and soon after remarried Peslis.  Rumors of infidelity tore through the Christian music community like a raging fire, fueled by the kind of bitter disappointment that is reserved only for those whose perceived fall from grace is long, hard, and heart-breaking.  Since then, she has humbly expressed remorse, sought forgiveness from those who may have been affected by her choices, and slowly...and gracefully...rebuilt her career and her music-based ministry. 

It's been eighteen years since her divorce and remarriage, yet Youtube video clips of her recent performances, especially duets with her husband, still elicit sharp criticism, angry invectives, and personal derision. 

Those of you who know me can probably imagine the heartache I feel for them.  They have a beautiful and faithful marriage of eighteen years.  They are deeply devoted to God...serving Him in song, and praising Him "daily in the temple".   They are active members of their church congregation, and according to fellow congregants, their fellowship in Christ is warm and generous, and their philanthropy is deeply felt.

I loved reading her own words as she speaks about her now, ever stronger, relationship with God. “In a manner of speaking, the unconditional love and grace of God doesn’t mean as much to people until they really need it,” Sandi says in relation to that past, “but like the Andrae Crouch song (from her new CD "Songs for the Journey") suggests, 'I wouldn’t trade anything it if meant I wouldn’t have the current understanding of who God is, and who I am because of Him'.”

I wonder if this is what Washington Irving had in mind when he wrote:

""There is in every true woman's heart
a spark of heavenly fire,
which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity;
but which kindles up,
and beams and blazes,
in the dark hour of adversity."

Adversity comes in many forms. Sometimes we walk into it by our own choices, and sometimes we discover, like the Psalmist, that "if I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there shall Thy hand lead me, and Thy right hand shall hold me." No matter what the route, we are there for a holy purpose...there is no other kind. And, "like gold by fire is tested, its purity shown forth" so the dross in our lives falls away in the purifying fires of adversity.

As I watched Sandi and Don singing "The Prayer" in this video from a December, 2009 Carnegie Hall performance, I could feel "the power of the Word"...and I felt like I could actually see the words from this song...living, and leaping in their hearts, their faces, their eyes.

"...I pray we'll find your light
And hold it in our hearts
When stars go out each night
Let this be our prayer
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe..."

I hope you, the readers of this blog, will, as you watch this video clip of "The Prayer," join me in extending your prayers to all who seek mercy and forgiveness.  And I hope that you will bless them with the grace, and hope for redemption, that fills your own heart.  My prayer tonight is "that life be kind" to them. And I extend that prayer to each of us... may our Father-Mother God help us to "be wise in times when we don't know." 

There have been so many times in my life when I have lost my way...spiritual, financially, emotionally, professionally... times when I haven't known whether my decision, to turn to the left...or to the right...was clearly God-directed.  Times when I have let the noise of emotion, or ego, distract me from the stillness within.  Times when I have said something, judged someone, or behaved in a way that I would have given anything to be able to retract. 

I know the pain of regrettable choices...first hand...and I also know the longing for forgiveness.  I don't believe that the desire for forgiveness is a human choice or a personal decision.  I think of forgiveness as a relentless spiritual presence within us, a divine influence, a God-impelled imperative, an irretuable power asserting itself in our hearts.  It comes as a hunger in our lives, a hunger reminding us that "the longing to be good and true has brought the light again."  This longing itself is a gift, when we have lost our way.

As I watched Sandi and Don sing this song I found myself weeping with hope for us all...individually and collectively.

I hope that through these times, times when families are finding new forms...traditional, nuclear, adoptive, single-parent, blended, same-gender partnerships, foster parents and children, ...that we are, if nothing else, raising up a generation of children who...because they have front row seats to our journeys...will have more compassion for others.  I pray that our teens are learning to gossip less, and that they become men, and women, who are willing to reserve their "good judgment" for better things than dissecting the personal choices and relationships of their neighbors.

"...We ask that life be kind
And watch us from above
We hope each soul will find
Another soul to love
Let this be our prayer
Just like every child
Need to find a place,
guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe..."

I believe that we all long to know that we will be safely guided in our decision-making. We hunger for God's unfailing direction, like a man whose spent forty days, and forty nights in the wilderness, being tempted of the devil.  I believe that we each, desperately, hope that the choices we make will be wise, and that the steps leading to "another soul to love" will be filled with grace...

I will close this post with Mary Baker Eddy's prayer at the end of a letter she addressed to, "Beloved Brethren":

"May mercy and truth go before you:
may the lamp of your life continually be full of oil,
and you be wedded to the spiritual idea, Christ;
then will you heal, and teach, and preach,
on the ascending scale of everlasting Life and Love."
Affectionately yours in Christ,
MARY BAKER EDDY

this is also my prayer...just like every child,
Kate
Kate Robertson, CS

[photo credit: Amy Aleshire 2010]

"...to be simple..."

'"Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain'd,
To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come round right."
- Elder Joseph

"Simple Gifts" happens to be one of my favorite songs…of all times.  In the last few years I have been learning the true beauty of its message.  But as with all things spiritual, the depths to which we can plumb an idea is unfathomable in its inspiration, practicality, and application.  

This past week "simplicity" has been a powerful theme in my prayers…and in my approach to choices and decisions.  What is the simplest route to a destination?  How can I simplify a concept shared, directions for a recipe, the steps in accomplishing a task.  What are the simple joys of family?  How can I bring greater simplicity to my spiritual practices.   Little things like packing for an overnight, choosing a gift, praying with a friend, were more joy-filled and fitting, as I let simplicity be my criteria for human actions.

In the third volume of his biographical trilogy on the life of thought-leader Mary Baker Eddy, Years of Authority, Robert Peel shares Eddy's criteria for the workers in her household.  Eighteen years ago, after reading this biography, I adopted them as the standards by which I "run" my own inner household.  They are:

close attention to detail
strict neatness and order
a simplified and systematic way of life
and
a breath-taking genius for improvisation

It was once shared with me, by another of her biographers, that Eddy believed the fourth, that "breath-taking genius for improvisation," could only be accomplished after mastering the first three.

So "simplicity" and I go way back.  I love harvesting my life's baggage.  Clothes not worn are recycled, cooking is done is small enough portions so that we don't have left-overs, and I try to never touch a piece of paperwork twice…processing it the first time in comes through my hands as often as I can.  One of the ways that I have been recently inspired and blessed by the demands of simplifying my life has been in my listening to God when praying and giving treatment.  Simplicity has been a gift that keeps on giving.   

But this past week, right in the midst of this movement towards greater simplicity, I found myself wrestling with a decision that seemed so complex in scope that I tossed and turned for hours and hours in the dark trying to find direction and peace.

I lined up pros and cons, I measured and re-measured the impact of each possible outcome, I wrestled with cost analyses and the consequences…of taking the left or right turn…on everyone involved.   One moment the left-hand choice seemed so obviously right.  And in the very next moment, the right hand was even more right than the left.  I was so far right at one point that I had circled back to left because I couldn't remember where I was.  As you can see…confusion ensued and I was dizzy from the journey.

It was at this point, when it all felt like a blur of human choices between two rights and no real wrongs,  that a conversation with my husband brought the light I desperately needed.  I was in the dark trying to find my way out of the complex labyrinth I had wandered into - with all my human reasoning, pros and cons, weighing of cost, value, consequences and impact studies - when he called.  He had been harvesting some files and came across a note to himself with this statement (if anyone recognizes it and can share its source please do):

The simplicity of the Christ,
untangles the complexity of human affairs.

Something in me clicked.  All my wrangling and wrestling had been based on nouns.  Persons, places, and things.  But for me, the Christ is a verb…and is all about verbs.  Motives, intents, actions.  What were my motives, what was the intent, what did I need to be doing?  The nouns, the whos and wheres would fall into place, clearly, when I was sure of the verbs.  So then I thought about what would accomplish the greatest good for the greatest number…not me or him, or her, or them...but all. 

Which option was Christ-like…kind, non-judgmental, honest, selfless, pure, compassionate, humble, good, meek, caring?

It was clear…there was no decision to be made, no choice to consider…just a simple direction to begin walking in. I have no idea where it will lead. I only know that by keeping my focus on the simple verbs of Christianity, those verbs will give birth to whatever nouns are needed to carry out their mission and purpose. The same way that light in the first chapter of Genesis, gives birth to the sun. The verb, light (isn't this what the sun does...light our path, lighten the universe), came first...the sun naturally followed.

I'm looking forward to this journey.  I'll be embarking on a path I've never taken before…someone once said to me (and again if you know the source of this statement, please share it with me so that I can give proper attribution):

If you want something you've never had
You have to do something you've never done.

This level of simplicity is something I've "never done"….perhaps I'll get to that "breath-taking genius of improvisation" someday, but for today, tis' enough of a gift…to be simple.

Simply with Love,
Kate


If you love Alison Krauss and Yo-yo Ma's version of "Simple Gifts"as much as I do, here is the link to that recording as well.

"One step enough for me..."

"Once in a vision I came on some woods
And stood at a fork in the road
My choices were clear yet I froze with the fear
Of not knowing which way to go
Oh, one road was simple acceptance of life
The other road offered sweet peace
When I made my decision
My vision became my release"
-Dan Fogelberg

Sometimes the options that present themselves are not between things that are either good or bad, right or wrong, better or best…sometimes both options are good, holy, intelligent, and loving. 

These are the decisions that always have me up all night tossing and turning…or pacing the floor. 

Such was the case earlier this year.  My husband and I were offered the opportunity to move to a mountain town we loved, near family members we adore, in order for him to start a business that seemed perfectly suited to his talents and professional experience.  The location of both the home and the business could not have been more ideal and therefore, the decision couldn't have been harder.

Harder because this move would have required our school-age daughters to choose whether to live (during the school year) with either their dad and his wife, or my husband and I…and then spend long weekends, holidays, breaks and the summer with the other parents. 

There were wonderful opportunities for the girls in each location and we (their dad and I) had agreed that the decision would be left up to them…but something in my heart would not allow me to feel completely at peace.  That is until one morning…actually the morning we were to finalize an important contract we had traveled almost a thousand miles to sign in order to "seal the deal".  I woke, as I had for over a month with a sense of sadness so deep that a sob burst from my chest like the first breath of someone who has been revived from a near drowning.  It was as if I was coming back to life from nearly drowning in confusion and indecision.  But with that sob came clarity…I knew. 

Suddenly the option that had seemed so desirable (and reasonable) for months was absolutely not the right course of action.   It was so clear to me that to ask our daughters to choose who (and where) they wanted to live with for a majority of their year was not right.  They needed both their daddy and their mommy (and their wonderful stepparents) throughout the school year, breaks, and summers.  The schedule that had been working so beautifully throughout the previous year was already perfect and our partnering as parents (with their stepparents) was becoming such a joy.   I realized that there was nothing that we could do in Colorado that we couldn't do in St. Louis, but there were very important things that we couldn't do in separate states that we could only do if we all lived in the same location.  My husband woke, that morning, with the same realization and within hours we were on our way, joyously, back home…back to living in a city that only months before had felt so far from being our "dream home"  in the mountains.

But how had we gotten to that fork in the road?  Why couldn't we have known what was the right path without having invested the time and energy…and resources..in exploring the other option? 

Although we had taken every prayer-based step with confidence…it wasn't confidence in our ability to hear God's long-term plan…it was confidence in knowing that at each juncture along the way we could, and would, stop and ask God for the next step.  Only the next step.  In fact, only the day before our morning epiphany,  a dear friend had reminded me that I was not only loved by God, but "loved and led". 

The next day as we wended our way home to St. Louis across the plains of eastern Colorado and the long stretch of Kansas prairie, I felt the truth of that statement. Not only had we been loved and led, but so had everyone else.  Long before we reached the Kansas/Colorado border each of the commitments that we had tentatively made to our new home and business beautifully unraveled in a way that left everyone feeling at peace with not our decision, but also leaving them feeling that they had come to the conclusion themselves.  In fact, in both cases where we were in contract negotiations, the other party offered us an "out"…without any penalty…financial or social.  Each party thought that they had been the one to "rethink" the wisdom of the sale or lease of their property.  And the contract we had on the house "back home"  (a contract that would have required our moving within a month) was re-negotiated in a way that allowed us to stay in our home….a house where the girls knew their bedroom as well as the back of their hand and where I had already planted herbs and pansies in window boxes and in deep clay posts on the large front porch.

By the time we arrived in front of the broad stairs leading to our front door my heart had shifted.  I was home…in every way.  I was not there as a compromise, I was not there "temporarily", I was there because it was where God had led us through love. 

As I looked around our beautiful urban university neighborhood…surrounded by an amazing city park, museums, an internationally acclaimed zoo, gardens, theatres, restaurants, coffeehouses, a bookstore, and a free-trade market, all within walking distance it was as if I had woken up to true joy and satisfaction that had always been right in front of me.  I didn't need to go anywhere…when my husband and I let the love in our hearts (for our daughters) lead us, step by step…our eyes were opened to the most amazing sense of home, family, community, neighbors, and friends we had ever known.
And in the process we adopted a summer/holiday "home" community that we also feel a strong sense of love and commitment to.

I feel like Dorothy waking up in her bedroom in that simple Kansas farmhouse surrounded by Auntie Em, Zeke and friends…I know now what she meant…home is not a place…home is where love is.  And there really is "no place like home"…wherever it is…today.

"Lead, kindly Light,
amid the encircling gloom,
Lead Thou me on;
The night is dark,
and I am far from home,
Lead Thou me on.
Keep Thou my feet;
I do not ask to see
The distant scene;
one step enough for me…"
- John Henry Newman
CS Hymnal #169

with gratitude,
Kate

Enjoy this video tribute to Dan Fogelberg which includes "Netherland," the song referenced in the epigraph above.

Home by Another Way

When I think of New Year's songs I often turn to either the familiar "Auld Lang Syne"...whether sung by James Taylor on his new CD or on any one of the hundreds of recorded versions available in every musical genre from Willie Nelson to Sting....or I return the magical words  "met my old lover in a grocery store..." version of "Another Auld Lang Syne" by Dan Fogelberg...either work on December 31st.  But one year I was surprised to find myself humming what has since become my favorite New Year's song. It isn't on any Christmas album...even though it is all about the birth of the infant Saviour in Bethlehem.  Nor is "Home By Another Way" considered a "holiday classic" in any circles...even with JT cultists like me... but it is funny, moving, profound and gave me the spiritual "kick in the pants" that I needed at a critical time.

Home By Another Way (Mayer/Taylor)

Those magic men the Magi,
some people call them wise or Oriental, even kings.
Well anyway, those guys, they visited with Jesus,
they sure enjoyed their stay.
Then warned in a dream of King Herod's scheme,
they went home by another way.
Yes, they went home by another way, home by another way.
Maybe me and you can be wise guys too
and go home by another way.
We can make it another way,
safe home as they used to say.
Keep a weather eye to the chart on high
and go home another way.

Steer clear of royal welcomes, avoid a big to-do.
A king who would slaughter the innocents will not cut a deal for you.
He really, really wants those presents,
he'll comb your camel's fur
until his boys announce they've found trace amounts
of your frankincense, gold and myrrh.
Time to go home by another way, home by another way.
You have to figure the Gods, saying play the odds,
and go home by another way.
We can make it another way, safe home as they used to say.
Keep a weather eye to the chart on high and go home another way.

Home is where they want you now,
you can more or less assume that you'll be welcome in the end.
Mustn't let King Herod haunt you so
or fantasize his features when you're looking at a friend.
Well it pleasures me to be here and to sing this song tonight,
they tell me that life is a miracle
and I figured that they're right.
But Herod's always out there, he's got our cards on file.
It's a lead pipe cinch, if we give an inch,
old Herod likes to take a mile.
It's best to go home by another way, home by another way.
We got this far to a lucky star,
but tomorrow is another day.
We can make it another way,
safe home as they used to say.
Keep a weather eye to the chart on high
and go home another way.

So as you can see it isn't for the metaphysical purist when it comes to languaging...but it really resonates with me whenever I am listening for divine guidance and direction. 

I have realized that one of the ways that "Herod" would undermine the divine in my experience is by convincing me that there is only one way "home."  Mary Baker Eddy defines "home" in a number of ways...two of my favorite are "the dearest spot on earth" and "the center...though not the boundary...of the affections" and there have been times in my life when the route to "home" was very singular for me.  It was what I knew and what I saw as the only path and by golly I was going to stick to that slice of paving no matter what.   It was "do or die" and I was a master of do-ing.  If someone could stick to the ship it was me. I would make a plan work, a strategy succeed, a design fit...because the plan, strategy, or design was God-inspired and divinely revealed "from the beginning" and therefore it was my role to stay on course. 

But one year as I was sitting at my kitchen counter with the Bible and Science and Health...my trusty, reliable, and constant navigational tools...spread open around me, I found myself thinking about my friend Moses. 

Here was a guy who was obedient every step of the way.  God says, "lift up your rod".... he's all over it, "take off your shoes"....done,  "lead a nation out of Egypt".....I'm on my way.  So Moses takes off with the Hebrew nation, leading them out of slavery, cruelty and bondage through the desert out of Egypt in the wake of a locust invasion, the river turning to blood and frogs, frogs, frogs and things are going pretty well. That is until Pharaoh (a guy who for all emotional intents and purposes has a direct link to Herod) wakes up to what he has allowed....all the cheap labor has left the city in the midst of a construction boom...pyramids and sphinxes aren't built by kings and princes you know...and he gathers his soldiers and they decide to chase the Hebrews down and bring them back to finish a couple of those Seven Wonders of the World.

The Hebrews are marching along through the desert singing "Kumbaya" and "...my knapsack on my back"  (you know the one..."valderee valderah, valderee, valderah, hah, hah...") sharing gorp and writing in their wilderness journals, when someone puts his ear to the dusty ground and hears the rumbling of horses and chariots bearing down on them. 

Well, they are pretty upset...this whole leaving bondage thing sounded pretty good when Moses proposed it...no more whippings from soldiers, gorp instead of pots of yucky mush that boiled away over a fire all day, sleeping under the stars....but the gorp was running low and it was cold under the stars and dang all this walking was making their feet sore.  And besides that Moses was a lousy navigator...God or no God he had taken then on a path that led them to a dead end.   The were sitting at the edge of a sea with no boats. 

Soon everyone was sitting on the ground whining about their plight...at least in Egypt we had fleshpots...at least in Egypt we could...and on and on it went. 

My buddy Moses tries to calm them down with "stand ye still and see the salvation of the Lord"...but even that was wearing a little thin...wasn't it this same Lord who had gotten them there in the first place and now they would have to walk all the way back but this time with soldiers prodding and taunting them along and perhaps with whips at their backs.

But even the Lord Himself was not satisfied with Moses' response to their complaint and fear....He asks His good, faithful, and obedient servant Moses "wherefore criest thou unto me, speak to the Children of Israel that they go forward"...well, doggone it...how many times have I, like Moses, wanted to just sit still and search the landscape for paths that are familiar, well worn, or have been bushwhacked by another traveler...or I've had my triptik from what I thought was the spiritual version of the AAA in hand for a long time and man I was going to stick to this itinerary no matter what. 

But Moses had the courage and the good sense to scan the horizon for what that forward movement might look like in new ways and to walk forward with the authority of God's command to move. 

Now Moses had never read Exodus and he had probably never heard of a sea parting...so it wasn't something he could even imagine...digging a hole to the center of the earth and out the other side probably seemed more doable than walking through the middle of a sea..."on dry ground" nonetheless....but God had a plan so new and different and spiritually practical that no one had even considered it.  

When Moses moves forward in the direction that makes the least sense humanly,  he discovers a path so perfect and one which makes absolute, scientific sense to one who trust that God is the only "I AM" impelling his desire to lovingly deliver his brothers and sisters from slavery.  He was someone who understood that when Love is seen as the supreme law governing the universe all the other laws of physics...gravity, molecular adhesion, cohesion and attraction...all subserve this law of Love.  God had already proven this to him when the bush burns but was not consumed...and he would prove it again and again as they made their way through the wilderness and toward a promised sense of home.  Their trust in God's care, in Love's supremacy and power would grow stronger and stronger with each proof. 

Mary Baker Eddy shares many observations about God's relationship to His universe that are critical to my view of this story...and how I am learning to trust His guidance and care...even when the way Love is leading me seems unimaginable, off-course or impassably difficult.   A few that have been my "rod" and "staff" this year are:

"Divine Love is our hope, strength, and shield. 
We have nothing to fear when Love is at the helm of thought,
but everything to enjoy on earth and in heaven."

and

  "The purpose and motive to live aright can be gained now. 
This point won, you have started as you should.
You have begun at the numeration-table of Christian Science,
and nothing but wrong intention can hinder your advancement. 
Working and praying with true motives,
your Father will open the way. 
"Who did hinder you, that ye should not obey the truth?"

and

"Love for God and man is the true incentive
in both healing and teaching. 
Love inspires, illumines, designates,
and leads the way. 
Right motives give pinions to thought,
and strength and freedom to speech and action."

I am continuing to learn that to put Love in charge of my life...to let Love and Love alone be my Captain, my Navigator, my GPS, my True North star....may take me Home by Another Way that may seem dark and cold and without many traveling companions, but it also may just part a tumultuous sea to reveal dry ground...take me through a barren wilderness that springs before me into a garden...and past a warm, full, bustling Inn to a simple manger in which I just may find an infant Christliness in the humble straw of my own heart.

Whether you are a leader of a nation, a few kings blindly following the requests of a misguided but cunning and ruthless sovereign, a high school senior looking for the right next chapter after graduation, or a parent on your knees searching for what is right for your family....you too can hear the voice of Love leading you forward...leading you on a path less traveled where you may just march to the beat of a different drummer, dance like nobody's watching, and above all...love like you'll never get hurt...with abandon...on the edge of a raging  sea...beyond the reaches of hatred, opinion and doubt.

Kate