"what if your healing comes through tears..."

"Cause what if your blessings
come through raindrops?
What if your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights,
are what it takes to know You're near?"

As I was sorting through some bits of notebook paper, newsprint, old greeting cards, and calendar pages in my quote collection this morning, I came upon this tiny gem. Someone had shared it with me along the way:

"A bad day for your ego,
is a great day for your soul."

I didn't need the reminder of that little piece of folded paper. It's a message I've had tattooed on my heart for the last few years. It's saved me from heartache, anger, resentment, and despair over and over again.

And yes, for the sake of clarification, I know that I don't have a personal "soul." Soul is another name for God. So, when I read the word in the context of this quote, I am thinking about the heart, the kingdom of heaven within, the consciousness of good, a God-based inner life.

Therefore, when my sense of being is defined by a "me"...an ego...that is separate from the impartial and universal good of collective humanity, then any situation I face that isn't sweet with personal success, promise, or achievement...is a bad day for my ego. But when I am looking at myself from the standpoint of being just one molecule in the body of Christ, every opportunity to humbly fall on my knees in service to others...to the whole, is a gift of grace.

What "the world" looks like from the lowly posture of humble service, is a world filled with higher, inspired, enlightened, exalted beings. When I stop looking at myself through the lens of otherness (a lens that invites comparison), or in the context of another's accomplishments (vs. my failures) all I can see is the good that is being experienced by God's blessed creation. What to me might look like a flat tire...a failure to have been more aware before getting on the road, to my neighbor might appear as an opportunity to be a good samaritan, to be at the height of his/her neighborly best. Only my ego, a separate, personal sense of being, would prevent me from seeing the presence of God's gifts in that moment.

Isn't this the Easter message? Isn't this the supreme gift of grace from a man who surrendered a personal sense of his life story with all it's drama: betrayal, crucifixion, and scorn...in order to show us the power of Love, and its capacity to heal, transform, and resurrect the heart's hope for salvation and purpose.

So, as I think considered all the ways the ego might try to undermine my ability to see the face of God, right in front of me, at all times, today...and everyday, this post from last year came to mind. Laura Story's message of surrender to grace is one I can never get enough of. A link to her own "telling" of it is at the end of this post. I hope you enjoy its resharing:

What if your blessings come through raindrops..."

My friend, Lauri, told me about this beautiful Laura Story song, "Blessings"  yesterday afternoon.  She said that it had been shared as part of her church's worship service on Sunday.  She thought that it might resonate with me.  Might?  Oh my goodness, it resonates with me very deeply...so much so, that I am almost rendered speechless. 

I'd already prepared a post for today when...after picking up the girls from soccer, getting dinner, baths, laundry, and then returning office calls...I was able to search out this song on Youtube.  From the minute I heard the first verse, that other post was put on the back burner until Thursday's sharing.   Unless something else crosses my path in the meantime...

If you have ever felt like you've prayed all night for answers, and all you've heard were more questions;  if you've slept on your knees and woke, not comforted, but with a despairing hunger that kept you there all the next day;  if your heart has shattered, and in the shards you've discovered tear-honed treasures of sea glass -- more precious than diamonds...then this song may touch you as deeply as it has reach itself into my soul tonight.  

One of my favorite statements, by Mary Baker Eddy, washesd through me, as I listened to it's powerful message:

"The very circumstance
which your suffering sense
deems wrathful and afflictive,
Love can make an angel
entertained unawares. 
Then thought gently whispers,
"Come hither..."

Love is calling us, and it is calling us closer to that very circumstance which a suffering sense...of life and being...would deem wrathful and afflictive.   Sometimes this is all I need, to stay on my knees as long as it takes, to actually feel Love's presence...right there....right there in that moment, in that place.  Because, right there...is my home.

I have typed out Laura's lyrics below...they were my prayer last night, they are my prayer today. 

Thank you Father for your blessings...especially the ones that come through raindrops and tears...

"We pray for blessings.
We pray for peace.
Comfort for family,
protection while we sleep.
We pray for healing,
for prosperity.
We pray for Your mighty hand,
to ease our suffering.

All the while,
You hear each spoken need.
Yet love is way too much,
to give us lesser things.

'Cause what if your blessings
come through raindrops?
What if Your healing
comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this life,
are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom,
Your voice to hear.
We cry in anger,
when we cannot feel You near.

We doubt your goodness.
We doubt your love.
As if every promise,
from Your Word is not enough.

All the while,
You hear each desperate plea,
and long that we'd have faith to believe.

'Cause what if your blessings
come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights,
are what it takes to know You're near?

When friends betray us.
When darkness seems to win.
We know that pain reminds this heart,
that this is not, this is not our home.
It's not our home....

'Cause what if your blessings
come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if my greatest disappointments,
or the aching of this life,
Is the revealing of
a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?
What if trials of this life...
the rain, the storms, the hardest nights...
are your mercies in disguise?"

This message embraces the sweetness of a salvation-based spiritual journey...one that weeps with Christ in Gethsemane, stands with him...braced by love...for the kiss, walks with him through jeering crowds, watches with his mother at the cross, and rises early...wrapped in the fragrance of sweet spices...to find the promise in a tomb. For me, this is a song of Easter...of deathless hope, and resurrected joy. Not in spite of our trials, but within the folds of the burial cloth...to discover the perfume of Life.

Here is a video clip of Laura Story explaining the impetus for her journey in writing  this song...blessings to you and yours.    Thanks Lauri, for sharing this song with me...you were right, I love it...

with Love,

Kate
Kate Robertson, CS

“Blessings through raindrops...”

"Cause what if your blessings
come through raindrops?
What if your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights,
are what it takes to know You're near?"
-

My friend, Lauri, told me about this beautiful Laura Story  song, "Blessings"  yesterday afternoon.  She said that it had been shared as part of her church's worship service on Sunday.  She thought that it might resonate with me.  Might?  Oh my goodness, it resonates with me very deeply -- so much so, that I was almost rendered speechless. 

I'd already prepared a post for today. I'd waited to post it after picking up the girls from soccer, getting dinner, baths, laundry, and then returning office calls. Just beforehand, though, I thought I'd listen to the song Lauri had suggested.  "It had me at hello…" From the first verse, that other post was put on the back burner.

Have you ever felt like you've prayed all night for answers, and all you've heard were more questions?  That you've slept on your knees and woke not comforted, but with an even more despairing hunger -- one that kept you waiting all the next day?  Has your your heart ever been shattered, and in the shards you've discovered tear-honed treasures of sea glass -- more precious than diamonds? Then this song may touch you as deeply as it did me. It has reached itself into the deepest place of my being, and wrung out the availing tear.  

One of my favorite statements, by Mary Baker Eddy, took tangible form for me, when I listened to Laura's powerful message.  It is from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, and reads:

"The very circumstance
which your suffering sense
deems wrathful and afflictive,
Love can make an angel
entertained unawares. 
Then thought gently whispers,
"Come hither…"

Love is calling us closer.  Calling us closer to that very circumstance which a suffering sense -- of life and being -- would deem -- perceive -- as wrathful and afflictive.  

Sometimes, just being reminded of this promise, is all I need to "not run." To stay on my knees as long as it takes. To let the storm clouds gather. To see the lighting flash. To wait until I can actually feel the rain on my face -- feel Love's presence soaking into my being.  To fell the love of God right then and there - in that very moment, in that very place. 

My "home" is not in a space of my own imagining. I am not its builder, decorator, or protector. My home is God's. I trust His design. I trust His purpose. I trust that He occupies my "home." That He is with me. And wherever He is -- and He is everywhere, at all times -- thatis my home.

I have typed out Laura's lyrics below. They were my prayer last night. They have been my prayer today. 

Thank you Father for your blessings. Especially the ones that come through raindrops and tears...

"We pray for blessings.
We pray for peace.
Comfort for family,
protection while we sleep.
We pray for healing,
for prosperity.
We pray for Your mighty hand,
to ease our suffering.

All the while,
You hear each spoken need.
Yet love is way too much,
to give us lesser things.

'Cause what if your blessings
come through raindrops?
What if Your healing
comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this life,
are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom,
Your voice to hear.
We cry in anger,
when we cannot feel You near.

We doubt your goodness.
We doubt your love.
As if every promise,
from Your Word is not enough.

All the while,
You hear each desperate plea,
and long that we'd have faith to believe.

'Cause what if your blessings
come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights,
are what it takes to know You're near?

When friends betray us.
When darkness seems to win.
We know that pain reminds this heart,
that this is not, this is not our home.
It's not our home....

'Cause what if your blessings
come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if my greatest disappointments,
or the aching of this life,
Is the revealing of
a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?
What if trials of this life...
the rain, the storms, the hardest nights...
are your mercies in disguise?"

This message embraces the sweetness of a salvation-based spiritual journey. A wakefulness that weeps with Christ in Gethsemane. A trust that stands with him -- braced by Love -- expecting the kiss. An unwavering courage that  faces Pilate, walks with him through jeering crowds along the road to Calvary. A love that watches with his mother at the cross and rises early to bring him fragrant, sweet spices in the tomb -- only to find the promised resurrection.

For me, this is an Easter song. It sings of hope that is deathless. Of resurrected joy -- not in spite of our trials, but found within the Love-perfumed folds of the burial cloth. As long as we think our peace is dependent on human conditions, we are never truly at peace. To discover that God is with us on the cross, in the garden, at our breaking point -- is to know a peace that passeth understanding. A joy that none can take away.

Here is a video clip with Laura Story as she explains her journey in writing  this song. Easter blessings to you and yours.   

Thanks Lauri, for sharing this song with me. You were right, I do love it -- very, very much.

with Love,

Kate