"why..."

"asking, "why God?"
didn't make me a bad Christian,
it made me a kid,
who needs my dad..."

Oh my. Austin French's new song,  "Why God,"  adds one more perspective on a question I have been sitting with for a couple of years.

That question has to do with Jesus' instruction in Matthew:

"After this manner,
pray ye..."

I've explored this injunction from so many angles. I have asked colleagues, friends, and mentors for their insights. I have stopped myself -- over and over again -- from praying out "the words" only. I have asked myself: Is this vain repetition? Are you in your closet? Are you praying to be heard of men -- or women? Are you praying "about God," or in conversation "with God?"

But there was something about  watching Austin's video today, that sent a shiver of something real through me. It has to do with this song's connection to the opening words of the Lord's Prayer, "Our Father..." and this above-quoted line from the video, "it made me a kid, who needs my dad."

I felt it. In that moment I could feel the manner of prayer. I am a child, in conversation with her father. Her (as Jesus called God) "Abba" - which translates, "daddy or papa." It could also be mommy or mama.

I know this feeling. I know how delighted I am to have our children come to us with their questions -- about anything. And I know that it isn't just our best stab at human answers that are meaningful to them, it is more about the way we listen to them -- with our entire whole-hearted love and focused attention.

A parent's love honors their child's questions. A parent does not see the question as a failing on their (or their child's) part, but simply an opportunity to deepen their relationship with one another. Sometimes, there are no words in the answers, and sometimes there are no answers, just oneness.

When our children ask the "why" questions, our hearts open up with such a softness. I can only imagine our Father-Mother God's infinite tenderness when we bring our "why" questions to Him/Her.

And to be honest, sometimes, to feel that tenderness is the only answer we really need. To feel heard -- and held. And often, the answer is simply that feeling itself -- of being in relationship with my Father-Mother God. And most times, it is the entire answer.  "Lo, I am with you - alway."  

Right where the "why" question tries to insinuate that I am asking because, "I don't know..." I find that, I do know. I know exactly where to turn. I know precisely Who to take my hurt, my uncertainty, my aching heart, and my "why" questions to. Asking "why," brings me home -- again and again. This longing -- causes me to curl into my divine Parent's arms -- and to be held.  This deeply intimate connection with God -- is the manner, after which I pray.

That is my "why."  


offered with Love,

Cate 

"after this manner..."

"after this manner,
therefore, pray ye...” 

I've been thinking a lot about this preface to what has historically been referred to as "The Lord's Prayer." What does it mean? What is it really referring to?  What does it mean to pray after a particular manner?

It doesn't say, "after these words, therefore pray ye," but after this manner. I grew up thinking that it meant that we should pray with those particular words. And in fact, I do pray with those words, many times a day. But I can't imagine that Jesus -- who was all about the "how," rather than the "what" -- was really all that concerned about the specific words that one should be repeating in prayer. And if he were, shouldn't we be praying in Hebrew, Greek, or Aramaic? Whatever language he originally spoke those words in? 

In fact, when we look at what comes just before, he is not setting his audience up for memorization and repetition. He is defining the the spiritual posture for prayer. He says:

"When thou prayest, enter into thy closet
and when thou has shut thy door,
pray to thy Father which is in secret.
Use not vain repetitions.
Your Father knoweth what things
ye have need of, before ye ask him.”

So since it doesn't say, "after these words, pray ye," but "after this manner, pray ye," I have been wondering about how I can bring more obedience to my manner of prayer. The word manner, according to Webster's, means:

"the way in which a thing is done or happens;
a person's outward bearing or way of behaving”

It doesn't say anything about the particularly words, but the actual way we pray. Silently, in secret, with freshness, and above all, trusting that God knows what we need before we ask Him.

Starting each prayer with this clarity of posture - rather than accuracy of words - has brought fresh inspiration and a new level of listening to my prayer. Instead of jumping right in with familiar words, I find that I am actually starting with a silencing of the human mind's desire for vain repetition. The ego's insatiable desire to feel "in the know." For the human mind's, "I don't have to really listen for something new and fresh, because I've already got this figured this out." That approach to prayer can lead to a mantra-like sense of self-hypnosis.

I've also been considering how the actual words traditionally considered as "The Lord's Prayer," provide us with a metric for that listening.  These words themselves can help define the manner after which we pray.  First of all, it must be inclusive - it doesn't say, "my Father, but our Father."

Secondly, it must be conversant. We are not praying "about" a far off God, but are in conversation with the One who loves us, "Hallowed by Thy name," -- not "hallowed be His name." This prayer is in second person, not third. The Lord's Prayer encourages a sense of relationship with our Father.  We are speaking with Him, not about Him.

These are just a few things that have refreshed my love for the Lord's Prayer -- and the beautiful guidance we are given, whereby Jesus arrests "vain repetition," in order to give fresh breath to an inspired sense of listening -- for what "the Father knoweth," of our need.

I love that on the very first page of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, Mary Baker Eddy shakes up a traditional world view of prayer as something that we do, think, or say -- and takes it all back for God, when she writes:

"Prayer [is]
God's gracious means
for accomplishing whatever
has been successfully done
for the Christianization
and health of mankind.”

Prayer is not something we do. It is what God is doing in us. We simply show up in secret, refuse vain [futile, self-centered] repetitions, and let God reward us openly with His Love.

offered with Love,

Cate