"location, location, location..."

"our house
is a very, very, very
fine house..."

I could find a perfect correlation between Crosby, Stills, and Nash's "Our House," with this post -- but it would be a reach. I just love it. And it's about a house. So....

This post is about a different kind of house. A house that is not just historic and well-built, but eternal.

In this week's Bible study is Jesus' parable of two houses:

“Whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

"And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it."
 

As I have written about before, my first "aha" moment with this parable came some years ago, when I realized that  by building his house on the rock, it did not mean that the "wise" homeowner would not face storms. In fact, the same exact storm assails both houses. The only difference is -- one doesn't fall.

For so many years, I thought that by building my house on a rock, I was somehow insuring that I would not face storms -- or at least not as rough a storm as if I hadn't. So, when I faced the battering waves of fear, doubt, illness, lack, inharmony -- I thought I'd failed to build on the right foundation. It was somehow my fault. Back to the spiritual drawing board. This insight has helped me immeasurably. I don't go there anymore. The same storm assails both houses. The only difference - if I build on the rock, my house will not fall.

But this week's realization was just as profound for me. The parable is not about the house - at all. It has nothing to do with the builder's skill or the materials he/she has chosen. It is, in fact, all about location, location, location.

Where are you building? Are you choosing to cast about for "the right," view outside the window? Or, are you casting within -- building your house - your consciousness of things, on the gospel message of "the kingdom."

In Luke, when the Pharisees try to trick Jesus into laying the foundation of his ministry in a particular place -- Jerusalem or Nazareth, with the Pharisees, Sadducees, Greeks, Romans, Jews, Samaritans, or Canaanites, we read:

“And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation: Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there!

for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you."
 

Where are we founding our sense of being - of actual existence? Our own, or another's? Are we seeing ourselves - or our neighbor - as being planted in this dogma or that doctrine? This party or that side? One nation, race, religion, gender -- or another? Or, are we seeing each of our fellow creatures as houses built on a Rock -- the kingdom of God? A location that is ever-constant and never-variable - within?

I have lived in 61 houses to date. Here is what I have learned about house hunting. Houses can be renovated, added on to, fixed up, torn down, and rebuilt.  New carpet, fresh paint, window boxes, and shutters.  But...

The location is changeless. If a particular location gets intense western sunlight all day -- that's not going to change. If the soil is rocky or near the ocean, surrounded by rolling hills or majestic mountains -- that's not going to change. If you are building your sense of being on what is temporary, shifting, and variable -- it will, by its very nature, change.  If you are building the structure of your life on what is changeless, within -- that will always be there to cultivate. And when the storms come, you will not fall.

Location, location, location - within...

offered with Love,

Kate

"I will give you perfect peace..."

In this time of trial,
pain that no one sees...
Trust me when I say,
that I will give you perfect peace...

...and though I may not
calm the storms around you
you can hide in me..."

I love Laura Story's "Perfect Peace," because of the compassion it represents to me.  There are have been so many times in my life when I have berated myself for not having prayed "hard enough."  So many long nights when I have thought that if only I had prayed sooner, longer, better I would not have experienced whatever storm I was going through. 

But this song reflects what I have come to believe with my entire being.  That just because I am expereincing a storm, it doesn't mean that there is something out of divine order. 

In fact, in his parable of the house built on the sand/rock, Jesus has helped me see that both houses...the one built of the sand and the one built on the rock...are beset by winds, waves, and storms.  The difference is not the presence of the storm, but how well the house withstands the weather. 

The house built on the rock survives.  The house built on the sand...falls.  But both houses are under siege. 

Yet how often have I given up on my prayerful self because I think, "Well, if you can't forestall the storm, you must not be praying 'right'...right?"  And since the prayer I was praying was the only one I'd been given by God, I must not really know what God sounds like..."  Sigh.  Such a looser...

No!!

The storm is a beautiful opportunity to strengthen my sea legs.  Each storm makes me a better sailor.  And each storm better prepares me to model a more consistent calm, when the next storm hits...my house or someone else's.

And right there, standing on bedrock, with my toes dug in deeply through the surf and sand, I can feel that "perfect peace" that Laura sings about.  Laura and her husband Martin, are both deeply committed spiritual thinkers who faced a hurricane-like storm when Martin was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness.  This storm, rather than shake their faith, has strengthened them spiritually individually, and as a family.   I am so moved by her willingness to share her expereince through this song. 

May you, too, find "perfect peace," in the midst of beautiful storms...

with Love,

Kate
Kate Robertson, CS

"Here is the link to a post from a few years ago, title "A House that Will Not Fall." it also explores this parable, and many of the ideas may seem like they have been re-cycled, but tonight's understanding of them is all fresh and new.  Besides that, I just love the Jonatha Brooks' song, "I Try," that it includes a link to. 

"Hanging by a moment..."

"I'm desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
I'm chasing after You..."
- Jason Wade

In the last few weeks I have had three photographs come into my life.  Each one has reached me at a different stage in what seemed like a process towards greater self-discovery.  It is the journey I wonder if Lifehouse isn't singing about in "Hanging by a Moment" 

"...I'm falling even more in love with You
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until You make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with You..."

There is s stillness in this hanging.  There is a way of being upside down to yourself.  It's almost as if the very air around you could disturb the process if you move too quickly or speak before you are ready to.

"...Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take Your invitation
You take all of me now..."

There have been moments when I have felt that I was hanging, like this climber, by the tips of my fingers from a precipice.  Waiting...on belay...for the next fingerpost to reveal itself, like magic, in the face of the rock.
There are other moments when I know that if I were to hang there forever, it would be enough to just be connected to that rock, by the slenderest thread, ad infinitum.   I am at peace with my suspension from His firm hold on me.  And actually that's the most wonderful part, the more I think I am holding onto God, the more I realize I have it all wrong.  He is holding on to me.  And you know, there is nothing I can do to loosen his grasp on my life, my hopes, my salvation.  In those moments of divine suspension, I actually do forget all that I am lacking, all the ways that I think I am completely incomplete as a mortal, and I find myself really believing that His invitation, to "take me as He sees me"...all of me...is a gift of grace.

"...I'm falling even more in love with You
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until You make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with You..."

This is the real deal, the Love that all other loves spring from. And you know, I can only truly let myself go, and love others...without fear of rejection, betrayal, hurt...because I have fallen even more in love with Him.  I think I could hang here forever, so tenderly connected to Him with all that I am, Suspended in His timing, waiting until He moves me to take the next step in any...and every...relationship in my life.

For me it is like the butterfly in the chrysalis. She is hanging from the rock by a single fragile thread that has unimaginable tensile strength...with nothing beneath her.  It is actually helpful for me to remember that the butterfly inside doesn't yet know that there is light, air, wings, flowers...flight.  All she knows is her hold upon the rock.  Soon there will be movement, a paradigm-wrenching trembling which will escalate until she has shaken herself free from the dark uncertainty of the chrysalis.  Until then, she can't even imagine that soon she will spread the wings she doesn't yet know she has, and soar on the winds of God's purpose for her.  But until that moment comes, she has only one thing to do...hang on to the rock.

"...I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with You..."

I am living for the only thing I know.  There are a lot of things that I think I know, and even more things that I have opinions about, but there is only one thing I am absolutely, positively sure that I know.  And that one thing is, as Mary Baker Eddy, says in her poem, "Love":

"Love alone is Life."

And since, as John avers, "God is Love," the above statement in conjunction with another of Eddy's statements, "God is All-in-all" reminds me that God, Love is All-in-all.  In everything, in everyone, governing every thought, motive, action, decision, choice, and outcome. It is enough. 

Somedays, when I find myself running madly in circles looking for answers, searching for meaning and inspiration, hoping for "something new"...I can stop to realize that all I need to do is "hang" for just a moment with Him.  With what I know about Him...as Love.

"...There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind..."

In the stillness of that space with Him, I remember what I know. Nothing in the world can change my mind.  Love is all that matters.  Love is all that makes a difference.  Love is the only goal, the only accomplishment, the only holy grail.  To find the love that burns like an inextinguishable ember in my heart and let it glow, burn, radiate, sing, laugh, purify my motives, motivate my actions, be my life.

"...There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else..."

Just hanging by a moment here with You,
Kate
Kate Robertson, CS

[photo credits:  Caitlin Little, Ashley Bay, Joan Knoll 2009]

"A house that will not fall..."

"I am not a child now
I can take care of myself
I mustn't let them down now
Mustn't let them see me cry
I'm fine, I'm fine

I try and try to understand
The distance in between
The love I feel and the things I fear
And every single dream…"
- Jonatha Brooke
- From Disney's "Peter Pan – Return to Neverland"

I love Jonatha Brooke's "I Try," because I do try and try, but sometimes I don't feel fine.  This was the case one day last week when I just felt like a total failure.  And it's not the first time. 

Sometimes it just feels like I pray and study and pray and listen and pray, and pray and pray..and still things don't work out the way I thought would certainly be God's way. At least not what I thought God's way should look like.  Am I the only one who wonders, "How could a hurricane take away a grandmother's front porch, why shouldn't a job come through quickly for an out-of-work friend, why can't we find a perfect little cottage for a loved one, why doesn't a relationship issue resolve quickly,and will the check the widow is waiting for really be "in the mail" as promised? 

Yes, everyday I do see countless instances of physical healing, resurrected hopes, and personal, collective and global transformation…but sometimes I just want to not have one day in which I don't feel as if I am leaning into the winds and waves of misunderstanding, self-doubt or regret…gripping the rock with my toes and hanging on for dear life. 

Shouldn't all that prayer and study prevent misunderstandings,  unkindness, alarming physical symptoms, and the threat of  hurricane each season? 

Well, I was sitting in my office last week deep in the midst of a personal storm while studying scripture and taking calls when I came upon one of Jesus' parables that I had read so often I could recite it, word-for-word, by heart:

"…whosoever heareth these sayings of mine,
and doeth them,
I will liken him unto a wise man,
Which built his house upon a rock;

And the rains descended,
And the floods came,
And the winds blew,
And beat upon that house;

And it fell not:
For it was founded upon a rock..."

But this time it spoke to my heart in a new way.  As I broke it down it came to me with such clarity…this guy does everything right: he hears Jesus' sayings, he does what Jesus asks of him, he is wise and builds his house upon a rock…you would think that would lead to only good…  sunny days, light breezes, gentle rain, calm seas…not!!!  The rains descend, the floods come, the winds blow, and his house gets beaten.  So what is different for this guy, who does everything right and the guy who builds on the sand? 

So back I go to the text:

"And everyone that heareth these sayings of mine
and doeth them not,
shall be likened unto a foolish man
which built his house uon the sand;

And the rains descended,
And the floods came,
And the winds blew,
And beat upon that house;
And it fell:
And great was the fall of it."

So, hmm…both guys get hurricanes, monsoons, tornadoes…but the wise guy's beaten house just doesn't fall…it still gets buffeted, flooded and beaten…it just doesn't fall. 

So, I thought, "what have I done wrong, I always pray, study, listen, obey as best as I can to what God is saying…"  But then the question came…out of the blue, "What is your house…is it a job, a marriage, an arm, a bank account, a day without challenges?"  And immediately on the heels of that question, came Mary Baker Eddy's spiritual interpretation of the last line from the 23rd Psalm, "And I will dwell in the house [the consciousness] of [Love] forever" (Science and Health pg. 578).

There it was.   A sweet peace swept over my heart like a soft breeze after a long storm.  The rains, winds, floods and beating were not prevented by the "wise" man who listens to Jesus' sayings, and does them, and builds on a rock.   Both the wise and the foolish experience them.  And these storms take many shapes.  Joblessness, a marriage that ends in divorce, financial uncertainty, a life-threatening diagnosis, an actual hurricane, feelings of depression, sadness or despair…or even just the day-to-day suggestions that we are cranky, resentful, judgmental or petty mortals. 

These tornadoes of personal sense swirl around us but they are NOT the house that is so ill-founded that it falls.  Nor is owning a home without a mortgage, a secure job, a comfortable bank balance, or a symptomless body a measure of a house that doesn't fall...no matter how lovely those instances may be or how grateful I am for every bit of good I am blessed with. Otherwise, my house is constantly moving.  One day I am debt-free, but my conversation with a friend is rife with misunderstanding, or the next I find a suspicious growth, but my marriage is  happy.  Where do I find my ground in this kind of ever-changing, always moving measure of being a wise or foolish man/woman.

But, the house that doesn't fall isn't found in a job, a marriage, a bank account, a healthy organization or a beautiful body.  The house that doesn't fall is found in the "consciousness of Love", our consciousness, our awareness that we even when we can't get out of bed...we can always love, we can always find God as Love being expressed…somewhere…in the world, in our world and the world at large, and find our hope restored, our faith buoyed, our desire to go to God in prayer…one more time…resurrected. 

For me, this is the house that is built on a Rock and will not fall.  I realized that I may not always have sunny days with calm winds out of the East…that the waves of self-doubt may lash at my foundation and the winds of "what if" may try to take the roof off of my little cottage on a Rock, but my house, my consciousness of Love, will not fall.  Even if I am picking pieces of weathered clapboard off the beach and re-pointing the foundation the next day…I can always go into my little house on the Rock and find God there in all His eloquent silence and listen for His "Peace be still (never-the-less)…and the wind ceased, and there was a great calm." 

"I can finally see it
Now I have to believe
All those precious stories
That the world is made of...
Faith, and trust... and pixie dust

So, I'll try
Because I finally believe
I'll try, cuz I can see what you see

I'll try, I'll try
I will try…"

Enjoy a cup of tea in God's house by the sea…because it is in this house, in this "consciousness of Love", that:

"the winds and waves can shock
oh, nevermore…"
-Mary Baker Eddy

with Love,

Kate