"inexhaustible energies...."

“...and I was dying for some freedom
but now I hesitate to go.
I am caught between the promise
and the things I know...”

I'm sure it's no surprise, but I really love Sara Groves’ “Painting Pictures of Egypt.” It has been especially meaningful, for me, this summer. Particularly a in connection with our camp inspirational theme, Mary Baker Eddy's call to action:

""Every step of progress, is a step more spiritual."

Every step...really? Sometimes I don't know if this is a promise, or a dare!

But, since I long for my steps to be "more spiritual," I'm taking it as both. And in light of my need for clear shepherding in these "steps more spiritual," I've been immensely grateful for Biblical role models, as I respond to this urging.

And this summer it's been a lot of "me n' Moses" time.

Yep, I’ve taken up residence in the desert...pitching my tent and inhabiting the Biblical account of his encounter with the burning bush...again.

This is not a new place for me to hang out...or a new spiritual mentor. I really love this guy. I seem to get caught up in his story on a regular basis. Insights and lessons around every rock. And I always come away with another “aha!” from our time time together...whenever I am willing to wander in the wilderness with him. Bare feet on holy ground, angels speaking out of the fire, and then there's always Emily Dickinson’s:

"Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush
afire with God,
But only he who sees
takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round and
pick blackberries."

Ahhh, I ask you: "how rich with spiritual metaphor can one story be...."

It never seems to get old. Year after year, this story feeds me like forty years of manna in the wilderness.

There was that summer, some years ago, when I realized that “I AM,” is the only name that God gives Himself. Reading this story, it became so clear to me that if I was thinking in the context of “I was,” or “I will be,” I was not thinking out from the presence of God, as “I AM.” The "here" (as in I am present with you), and the "now" (as in to "stay in the present" tense...not the past or future) This was a paradigm-shattering insight at the time, and has continued to be foundational to my understanding of being.

And then there was the summer of the environmentally-conscious Sunday School student. A boy who helped me see that the burning bush ...which was not consumed...was a precedent-setting case of Biblical law for energy production without the consumption of resources. It was immediately clear to him, upon hearing the story, that Moses was able to see that the bush was burning...therefore it was putting off light and/or heat...but was not being consumed in the process. And without the consumption of the bush, there would be no waste byproduct...in this case smoke, or carbon emissions...to negatively impact the environment.

But this summer it was a question posed by a tired camp counselor, that has had me immersed in this story once again.

She asked, “how do you pray about exhaustion?”

Well, not surprisingly, it was this timeless story that immediately came to mind. So, I shared with her the Sunday School insight related above, and told her how helpful it had been to me in thinking about my own energy. I could expect to function efficiently without the consumption of my resources – strength, inspiration, alertness, creativity, humility, grace, etc. – and therefore no exhaustion...the waste by-product of resource consumption.

Exhaust, I reminded her, was the stuff that comes out of the back of a car...it is a waste, and it stinks. To say, “I am exhausted,” is a waste of your time, and it stinks!!

But as I was reading the story again, I saw how it all tied together:

Moses had a pretty good life as Zipporah’s husband. After the emotionally devastating discovery about his identity: "sorry Moses, you aren't a really a prince of Egypt, you are actually the son of a Hebrew slave," a traumatic exit from Egypt, and a long journey through the desert, he had finally found a legitimate place within a family. He had a good job, and seemed content. He spent his days tending sheep for his father-in-law.

But God has another plan for him. He is going to be asked to journey back to Egypt, face his identity crisis head on, go toe-to-toe with his former “brother,” try to convince the Hebrews he once participated in enslaving to trust him to deliver them from bondage, encourage them to follow him without question, handle the logistics of getting them out of Dodge, and then make another long journey through the desert with thousands of men, women, and children safely in tow, arriving at an undesignated "promised land."

That’s one pretty daunting, tiring, and exhausting assignment.

So, God gives Moses this “sign." He shows him that there can be a tireless source of energy...one that doesn't run out, doesn't produce exhaust, and results in no waste.

A brilliant example of God’s love, and His prescience...his foreknowledge of what His child will need in order to carry out this holy purpose.

And it is this “sign” stops Moses in his tracks. He “gets it.” It humbles him to the point that he takes off his shoes...a sign of surrender to a higher authority.

When the plan is laid out, Moses asks “how,” and God says, “I will be with thee.”

When Moses asks why should they believe me, God tells him to say, “I AM hath sent me unto you.” Now, the only reference to “I AM” that the children of Israel would have, would be their own conscious sense of being, their innate hunger to be free...they’d never read the book of Exodus, and Moses’ conversation with God.

But these two reminders: that God is with us in every task, and that the “I AM,” of being...not the I was, or I will be...is there, at all times, to deliver us from enslavement, from the consumption of our resources, from the waste of our time, and from exhaustion...is as effective today as it was centuries ago. Biblical precedence I can rest my case on throughout the day, in every activity, and with every "step more spiritual."

When I know that God is with me, that I will always have the infinite well of divine Being to drawn upon for inspiration, insights, ideas, solutions, strength, creativity, then I am not afraid to approach even the most daunting task with courage and confidence.

And when I remember to stay in the “I AM” of the moment -- the only place that God is -- refusing to be distracted by the haunting strains of remembering what I left behind in Egypt’s past, or the lured into imagining what it might be like in the promise land of the future...I cannot be consumed, or exhausted.

Mary Baker Eddy, gives us such sweet, and practical, encouragement when she says;

"God rests in action. Imparting has not impoverished, can never impoverish, the divine Mind. No exhaustion follows the action of this Mind, according to the apprehension of divine Science. The highest and sweetest rest, even from a human standpoint, is in holy work."

and elsewhere:

"Goodness and benevolence never tire.
They maintain themselves and others
and never stop from exhaustion."

I love these promises. and I love this story...I can’t wait to discover it’s next lesson...

with Love,
Kate

"Another day..."

"...Oh, wake up Susie
Put your shoes on
Walk with me into this light..."
-     James Taylor

The minute I heard this video, of James Taylor singing "Another Day,"  which my friend Amy posted on Facebook, I thought of my love for the hours between dusk and dawn.  In the Bible's first chapter of Genesis, it says, "And the evening and the morning were the first day"...and the second day, and the third day, and on and on until creation was complete and given the benediction that, "God saw all that He had made, and behold it was very good, thus the heavens and the earth were finished..."   I love this.  I love thinking that my day begins with a proper sense of "evening" and naturally evolves into the "morning," and not the other way around.   In part, Mary Baker Eddy, spiritually defines these terms as:

"Evening: ...peace and rest"

"Morning:  Light, symbol of Truth; revelation and progress."

Of course, there is always the demand, in beginning one's day with the evening, to arrest any mistiness of thought...and weariness of mind...that would obscure our views of Divinity, present as humanity.  But once that is done, I love establishing the foundation of my day by beginning with a clear sense of peace and rest in the evening.  Then I can watch, in the hours between the evening and the morning, for those "first faint morning beams" of inspiration and promise wakening me to new view of divine goodness and love...in my life and in the lives of others.  When the morning dawns, I am filled with a confident expectation of revelation and progress throughout the day. In this "space" the night (or evening) is not the opposite of day, but is folded into the delight, wonder, and promise of its beauty.

But back to my love for the night...and one instance of why.

The other night someone dear to me called at about two in the morning...heart aching, peace shattered, confidence quaking.  She thought she was calling too late.  I assured her that I was very much awake, had been, and was certain, that I was awake for no other reason than to be completely ready for her call.  This was the absolute truth. 

I'd had a full day, a fuller evening, and a very, very full night of calls and emails...but as I finished up the last reply, folded the final load of laundry, started the dishwasher, and walked the dog...it was so clear to me that the physical and mental weariness that had been screaming at me all night as reasonable, was suddenly like an annoying, little gnat buzzing around my head.  I could easily swat it away in light of the joy I knew I'd feel in speaking with my friend.

As I've explained above, night is my favorite time of day.  It is so rich with silence, fathomless space, and inspiration.   I wish I could stay awake all night and only take cat naps occasionally through the day.  I've never been a big sleeper.  It seems like such a waste of all that silence.  The need for sleep is not something I have prayed about, overcome, or "demonstrated over".  It's just the way I arrived. I believe that this must be what God intended for me to "be" from the beginning...and I have been faithful. 

As a child I was, in fact...and much to my parents exasperation...very, very faithful to my appointment as someone who "refused to go to sleep."  I was often caught reading hours and hours after "lights out."  After I'd almost burned down the bunkbeds my sister and I shared by taking the wall-mounted lamp off the wall and putting it under my covers, my parents let me leave the lamp on, for as long as I wanted to read, on the condition that I was up, dressed, and off to school on time each morning.  I was.

I really do trust that if God wanted me to get my rest by sleeping, he would begin by putting the desire for sleep in my heart.  It hasn't happened yet! But this is also why I believe that this is not the way it is, or should be, for everyone...or anyone else. This is why there is such beautiful "diversity of spirits" in the universe of fellowship. God puts our desires in our hearts in individual ways so that there are both night owls and early birds...that way all the moments of the day are loved!!! Anyway, back to my story...

So when my friend called I was happier than a child sitting on the front steps holding a new ball, hoping someone would come by to play catch.  I'd been reading, thinking, praying, listening for exciting new ways to look at thing spiritually, and so the joy of having someone to listen together with...for ideas, inspiration, unfolding direction...was a slice of pure happiness for me.  

It wasn't a case of me walking her into the light, but the two of us walking together in the radiating light of love that our united hearts created when we came together in the dance of "Our Father...give us this day...".  It was like having two batteries, instead of just one, in a flashlight.  The connection of our two hearts coming together in a united hunger for a divine sense of  purpose, brought a light which illumined a rich field of inspiration and direction, white for our harvesting harvest.  The resulting bounty fed us both to overflowing.

The hours sped by quickly as we talked and listened and laughed and talked.  But by dawn we were both so deeply rested that our voices were light with joy as we said our "love you, talk to you later"s.

The only place the word "exhaustion" has in my vocabulary is as a waste product the come from a combustible engine.  I am not combustible.  I do not depend upon a stimulus/reaction model to nerve my endeavors, to drive my actions, to kindle my desires, to encourage me to work, or to motivate my behavior.  I have no space in my life for any waste...and exhaustion is a waste of my time...day or night.

The Biblical precedent for my confidence came from a Sunday School student, who, when we looked together at the story of Moses and the burning bush that was not consumed, found promise for the environmental challenges we face in an expanding carbon dependent global community.  As he said, "The bush burned, so it put off energy...heat, light...but it was not consumed, so there was no waste."  Brilliant, and out of the mouth of a babe.  It figures!!

No exhaustion with the expending of useful energy. 

Mary Baker Eddy says two things that I love about active, purpose-filled sleepless, but restful, hours:

"The highest and sweetest rest,
even from a human standpoint, is in holy work."
and
"The consciousness of Truth rests us more
than hours of repose in unconsciousness."

I am resting the case of my wakeful heart on these Law-based promises, and on Biblical precedence.  And so far, these divine promises from my Father-Mother God,  have been kept throughout my life. Thanks Amy for posting "Another Day". I loved it.

with Love,
Kate
Kate Robertson, CS