"In a crowd, or by myself...."

“I can be in a crowd
or by myself
or almost anywhere...
When I close my eyes,
no darkness there
there's only Love, and
I get on my knees ...”

Jaci Velasquez's "On my Knees"reminds me that I can never be too alone...or too overwhelmed by chaos, cynicism, or crowds...to drop to my knees (mentally or physically) in prayer. 

Nothing, and noone, can stop me from...stopping. From saying "no" to the clamor of urgency, "not yet" to the demand for an answer, or "I'm praying" to the impatience that thrives in the dark places of fear.

How often do we go to God "on the fly," thinking that we don't have time to just stop, and surrender our human sense of importance to the choreography of divine grace? To allow the space for being moved towards a solution by Love, rather than away from a problem out of fear.

In his acceptance speech for the nomination of his party -- as their candidate for a second term as President of the United Sates at the Democratic National Convention -- President Barack Obama quoted President Abraham Lincoln:

"I have been driven to my knees many times 

by the overwhelming conviction 

that I had no place else to go."

For me, this is not such a bad place to be. It's sometimes a blessing to find myself at the very end of all my well-intentioned -- and ofttimes desperate -- human thought-taking, and urgent grasping. To be standing at the edge of my self-importance, and to know that the only way out, is down on my knees.

And yet, how often do we measure someone's spiritual acumen by the perceived level of demonstrated "harmony" in their lives. It's a measuring stick dipped by the blind, into the murky depths a distorted glass beaker. How do any of us everreally know what another is facing in "the dark night of the soul."

President, pauper, or pilot, cowboy or CEO, the unemployed, the retiree, or the college freshman...we all live on the edge of our next great need for spiritual comfort, direction, healing, peace. And I don't know about anyone else, but if I am honest, I have to say that I spend most of that time, "on my knees." And I've learned that, to judge another's path by what we see on the outside, is like judging an athlete's strength and flexibility by the color and cost of their workout wear.

So, what can I do when I find myself in a dark moment of despair, or when I see my brother (or sister) in Christ facing a crisis of health, economy or faith? I can join them "on my knees." I can humbly can surrender my doing, for His stillness of Being. For the constancy of His care, the never-the-lessness of His peace, the insistence of His love...impartially and universally. Falling into the Truth of His presence, and trusting in His power, is the deepest and most satisfying rest I've ever known. And resting on my knees, in His presence, often gives me a spiritual perspective that is completely different than the one that sent me there.

There is never a situation so urgent, a question so important, or a decision so critical that we can't take a moment, and drop to our knees in prayer. Never. In his "dark night of the soul," our Master did just that. And his plea to his divine Parent: 

"Abba, Father, 

all things are possible unto thee; 

take away this cup from me..."

became, in the breath of a moment:

"...nevertheless not what I will, 

but what Thou wilt."

I love that word, "nevertheless." It is synonymous with the word "still." As in, "I will still be here." To be "still," is to be like Him in a profound way, to be "nevertheless." To be constant in our trust, unshakable in our clear conviction that we can alwaysstop, and pray. Or, as Mary Baker Eddy urges:

"Beholding the infinite tasks of truth, 

we pause, — wait on God. 

Then we push onward, 

until boundless thought walks enraptured, 

and conception unconfined 

is winged to reach the divine glory."

What a perfect thing to do, from the summit of one's knees...

with Love, 

Kate

"Punctuating our days with prayer...'

"I can be
in a crowd,
or by myself,
or almost anywhere..

I get on my knees.
There I am before
the Love that
changes me.

See, I don't know how,
but there's power
when I'm on my knees "
- N. Mullen

I've used Jaci Velasquez's, I Get on My Knees as the keynote for an earlier post, but it seems perfect for today's message. I promised, in last week's post on celebrating the Sabbath, that I would share more from Krista Tippett's interfaith conversation with the Dalai Lama (and friends) on, "Pursuing Happiness," hosted by Emory University. And I try to always keep my promises.

In the last decade, I've enjoyed finding threads of common practice within the rich tapestry of our vast global faith community. Last week, it was Rabbi Sacks' exploration of the Judaic practice of Shabbat, that enriched (and has continued to deepen) my own celebration of the Sabbath.

This week it has been Islamic scholar Seyyed Hossein Nasir's insights about Salah, the practice of praying five times daily to Allah, and the follow-up contributions of Rabbi Sacks, and Episcopal Bishop Katherine Jefferts Schori, that I found sisterhood in. Each was responding to Krista's question:

"What are the corollaries in your traditions for generating calmness of mind?"

Dr. Nasir:

"Islamic tradition we have the five daily prayers. You pull yourself out of the flow of time, into a space that is sacred-ized. And for a few minutes, even if your mind is running like mad, you have to force yourself, to pull yourself, out of that context.

"This exercise, of praying five times a day, has an enormous effect on our life, and every day the social dialog goes faster and faster. These prayers are very centering, and act to give punctuation throughout our day."

Rabbi Sacks:

"In Judaism it is the simple act of prayer. Three times a day, three things happen when I pray.

"The first thing is thanks. The first prayer we pray is, "Thank you God for giving me my life."

"The second thing is confession. You feel the ability to acknowledge your mistakes, and then you grow...you learn by those.

"And the third thing is simply the basic expereince of prayer altogether. Standing in the presence of a deeper form of being.

"Knowing that this universe is not indifferent to my existence, deaf to my prayers, blind to my hopes. And when I feel in that presence of the Being at the heart of my being, then I actually experience the greatest line of all in the life of faith, from Psalm 23, "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me." We can face the future without fear, if we know, that we do not face it alone."

Bishop Schori:

"We share many of the same forms of prayer...prayer as awareness and attending. Christians sometimes pray with images, and sometimes we pray without images...a kind of emptying prayer.

"I think the part that is perhaps most attractive to "new learners" is about understanding all of existence as prayer.

"The Celts were very effective at blessing each moment of the day. Blessing the milking of the cow, blessing the covering of the fire at night. Brother Lawrence blessed the washing of the dishes. Runners begin to understand the blessing that come in putting your body to work, and emptying the mind.

"There are practices that each of us participates in that are about simple awareness of God's presence in every breath, in every moment, in every encounter, in every challenge. It's that awareness, and attending to it, that I think is so significant."

Dr. Nassir added:

"In Islam, as in Judaism, the sense of priesthood is divided between all human beings, and each person stands directly before God."

I loved hearing how each faith tradition brings a unique perspective on the practice of prayer. But it was having my understanding of Salahexpanded, and discovering the corollaries between this sacred Islamic act of devotion, and my own daily practice of prayer, that was so meaningful for me this week. Mary Baker Eddy, the Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science writes in her primary work, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures:

"Jesus prayed; he withdrew from the material senses
to refresh his heart with brighter,
with spiritual views."

and

"Jesus' prayers were deep and conscientious
protests of Truth, — of man's likeness to God
and of man's unity with Truth and Love."

Isn't it lovely to see that the substance of our devotion is shared, however different our rituals and symbols. This week...even though I try to live in a constant attitude of prayer, and pause, often, throughout the day to "refresh my heart with brighter, with spiritual views,"...I made an effort to join, in Spirit, with my Muslim neighbors in the practice of Salah.

I sought to perform a cleansing "ritual" that was consistent with my own faith. I consciously prayed for "submergence in Spirit" (from Eddy's definition of "baptism"), then I turned in the direction of my own spiritual "mecca"...the kingdom of heaven within, and bowed before God, "in holy submission to the divine..." What a blessing.

It's been truly lovely...and love-inspired. By seeking to understand the practice of Salah, I have felt such a sweet sense of uniting, in prayer, with all of my faith neighbors. It has left me with a profound sense of "peace on earth, and goodwill towards men"...all men, women, children, creatures, trees, rocks....all creation. Impartially, universally, unconditionally united in prayer.


One of my favorite spiritual songs says:

"The outward symbols disappear
from him whose inward sight is clear.
And small must be the choice of days
to him who fills them all with praise.

Keep while ye need it, brothers mine,
With honest zeal your Christmas [outward] sign.
But judge not him who every morn
feels in his heart the Lord Christ [spiritual man] born.”
- John G. Whittier

At this point, there are still some wonderful "outward" signs and symbols that I love dearly...singing hymns, kneeling on Sacrament Sunday, praying "The Daily Prayer," reading the Weekly Bible Lesson, etc. Each one a loved practice of devotion.

Krista's interview with Rabbi Sacks, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Dr. Nasir, and Bishop Schori, has helped me see that I share my love for the practice of prayer with billions of spiritual thinkers worldwide. I am so grateful to know that we can live together in respect for one another's ever-clearing inward sight, and join together in grateful praise.

with Love,


Kate

[photo credit: silhouette of Sandy Wilder on the shore of the Tiberias Sea by Duncan Wilder 2012]

"I get on my knees..."

"...I get on my knees,
I get on my knees...
there I am before
the Love that
changes me.

See, I don't know how,
but there's power,
when I'm on my knees..."
- Nicole Mullen

I love Jaci Velasquez' recording of "On My Knees"...alot.  And it's a song that perfectly prefaces this experience, and the lens through which I see the work I love so much.

One recent evening I was multi-tasking in my typical way...phone at my ear - deep in conversation, pulling the last remnants of autumn's plantings out of window boxes, mixing in new soil, planting soft shades of periwinkle, white and the palest yellow pansies...when, in the middle of a particularly impassioned conversation about God's calling in our hearts, I tripped, fell, and torqued my ankle in a way that screamed, "uh-ohh, another six to eight weeks on crutches."

At first, I dismissed it quickly from a strictly spiritual standpoint of "I am not material, I am spiritual," with all the metaphysical reasoning I know to be consistent with this form of treatment.

Nothing changed...but, more pain, swelling, immobility...and pain, did I mention pain?

And as my ankle got larger and larger, and getting from here to there became less possible, I was finally ready to "stop!!!"...and rethink my standpoint (no pun intended) on the entire experience.

Okay, exhale deeply..."ohhmmm"  Hmmm...I was gardening and talking on the phone.  My friend, Dick Davenport, and I had been talking about...what? Oh, yes, our salvation-based ministries of scientific Christianity, which, we discussed,  includes scientific, prayer-based physical healing.  But we were clear that salvation, the healing of sin, or the feeling of being separated from God  -  and what springs from that feeling of separation...vulnerability, pain, heartache, disease, war, chaos...came first.

Mary Baker Eddy defines the "purpose" of what it is that we both practice, Christian Science, as, "to reinstate primitive Christianity, and its lost element of healing."  It has become clear to me, why she places primitive Christianity...behaviors consistent with Christ: non-judgment, honestly, compassion, meekness, patience, hope, temperance...first.  Healing always follows. 

I couldn't help but remember the gospel accounts of Jesus' healing record.   Crippling illnesses, pain, suffering, torment, blindness were lifted from humanity with the blessing, "thy sins are forgiven thee, go in peace."

Sins forgiven...peace. 

So right there, in the midst of darkness and discomfort, I found myself aching for spiritual confirmation and direction. I wasn't just looking for validation of my own "theory," that healing followed salvation, I wanted the Truth. And since kneeling works for me...bringing humility into laser-like focus as I pray...I got on my knees by the side of my bed like a little child listening for her divine Parent's voice.

"Father, what is it that I need to see and feel tonight?  What is your salvation message for me right here, right now?" 

And in the silence His message came, "If your ministry is all about staying on your knees, what do you need an ankle for right now?"

It made me smile.  It was true.  Right then and there, I had everything I needed.  I had my knees, and they were perfectly formed and suited for the work at hand...washing feet, praying, looking up from this humble posture into the hearts and faces of His, God's beloved children.  So I stayed there.  Mentally washing feet, praying, serving...quite some time, and my knees served me, as I served God, perfectly.

At one point, the phone rang and I got up to answer it.  And since I needed my ankle to do that...to take a call in the middle of the night from someone in need...it, my ankle, stepped up to the demand.  It was perfectly formed and suited to that moment's need.

I have not experienced one second of vulnerability, discomfort, or weakness in that ankle since.

But this moment of divine grace was so much bigger than a "fixed" ankle.  It was, in and of itself, all about salvation.

Salvation, salvage work, reclaiming what is essential, fundamental, useful from what the world would be more than happy to send to the dump, bury in the landfill of broken humanity.  I know a little bit about salvage work.  One of my grandpas was in the salvage business.  He would take what others thought was pure "junk" and he'd break it down into it basic elements: copper wire, lead piping, corrugated tin...and re-purpose it in a way that not only had value, but served humanity...over and over again...out of purifying "strange fires" and into beautiful, functional  "fresh forms."   Nothing new...just a new view of what was always there.

In essence, this is an element of my work too.  That conversation with my friend, Dick, was not just something to have on the fly, and then forget about...it was something God wanted me to stop long enough to really hear.  It was important enough for Him to stop me in my tracks, so that His voice didn't just become the soundtrack for my gardening.

No chance this time!  I am absolutely certain of His message from the other night.  His primary purpose in my ministry...primitive Christianity...freedom from any belief that we have an identity, or ego, that separates us from God...or each other.  This is my purpose as a Christian Science practitioner...salvation.  Or as Mary Baker Eddy encourages me,

"The emphatic purpose of Christian Science
is the healing of sin..."

  The rest, the lost element of healing...realized wholeness...she promises us, will follow, "as naturally and necessarily as darkness gives place to light, and sin to reformation." We are never choosing between salvation and healing...for me, it's simply about putting first things...first.


Here are the rest of the lyrics to this song...

"There are days,
when I feel
the best of me
is ready to begin.

There are days,
when I feel,
I'm letting go,
and soaring on the wind.

But I've learned
in laughter or in pain,
how to survive:

I get on my knees,
I get on my knees.
There I am before
the love that
changes me.

See, I don't know how,
but there's power
when I'm on my knees.

I can be
in a crowd,
or by myself,
or almost anywhere.

When I feel,
there's a need,
to talk with God.
He is Emmanuel.
When I close my eyes,
no darkness there,
there's only light.

I get on my knees,
I get on my knees.
There I am before
the Love that
changes me.

See, I don't know how,
but there's power
when I'm on my knees."

from this posture of salvation...this "summit" of devout consecration...the world looks beautiful...cast in a heavenly light.

with Love,
Kate
Kate Robertson, CS

I'm also including here, an inerview with Sara Groves, one of my favorite recording artists on "relational theology," which so beautifully describes why my heart resonates with the heart of her music...and her message.