"when I see you again..."

"'cause we've come
a long way
from where we began;

and I'll tell you
all about it
when I see you again..."

For me, the musical surprise of the summer was the duo Endless Summer. I have checked in with their Youtube channel once a week to see if they have posted anything new -- or old. Loved finding this video for  "See You Again," . It was the perfect accompaniment for this post.

This summer I've known the joy of seeing a number of people from past chapters of my life, that I'd not seen in a long time. And here is what I have learned: Love knows no time.

I remember a friend once telling me about sitting across from someone she hadn't seen in over fifty years, and, she just couldn't see it.  She couldn't see the fifty years.  I thought she was spinning a tale. Now I know, she wasn't.

This summer, as I sat across from friends I hadn't seen in 5 years, 20 years, 40 years, I could see the dark hair that was now peppered with silver, the shift in body mass, the change in gait  -- with my eyes. Yet over and over again, my heart saw what it had held in memory for decades. The sound of their laughter, the sparkle in their eyes, the curve of their hands as they held a pen -- it was all I could see. Truly.

His weathered face, dissolved into boyish-ness. The mature mom, became a coltish girl right before me. In the eyes of someone who had loved him, the grandfather was - again - the young athlete who had been able to sweep my teenage self off my feet.

Beauty, innocence, joy, sparkle -- are truly in the eyes of the beholder.

I have had a summer filled with "beholding" people I have long-loved. Just typing this post is causing my throat to tighten, my chest to burn, and my eyes to tear up with gratitude for every remarkable planned or unexpected visit, connection, late-night cup of tea, conversation, or meal. I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful gift. To actually feel the timelessness of love. To hear their voices, to see their eyes twinkle, and to feel their hugs. More of heaven on earth, I can't even imagine.

In Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, Mary Baker Eddy writes:

"Love never loses sight of loveliness.
Its halo rests upon its object.
One marvels that a friend can ever seem
less than beautiful."

Nothing has made me feel more timeless and ageless than this summer's adventure -- sitting with, and listening to, the hearts of people of I have loved -- and still love.

offered with Love,

Cate 

"Obsolescence..."

"And I know I shouldn't care,
if I'm out, or if I'm in. 
'Cause if I am dismissed,
Oh, You always take me in..."

I remember the first time I really thought about the concept of obsolescence.   And what it meant to be obsolete...a word that means: "no longer current, fresh, functional, or useful; outdated."   
    
Carol and I were walking through the basement of the publishing house -- a cavernous space filled with cases of books.  She explained that in quantifying the value of our product line, we had to take into consideration an "obsolescence factor."   

It was a term I wasn't familiar with as a school teacher and administrator.  I must have looked like a deer in the headlights.  She went on to explain:

Books that could no longer be sold -- either because of an outdated design, unincorporated editorial changes, or deteriorated physical condition -- were depreciated.  The decreased worth of those books, factored into the overall valuation of our inventory. 

No wonder, that as an educator, I didn't get it.   Thank goodness. 


At the time, it made me sad.  I loved those books.  I loved their dated covers, the smell of old paper, the crackle of dried bindings.  I wanted to take them all home and put them on shelves so they would feel loved.  The ideas in those books were timeless.  How could timeless ideas ever be outdated to the point of being devalued. 
    
Sara's song, "Obsolete," makes me smile today, but there was a time, not so long ago, when this was one of my biggest fears.

To think that there could come a day when I was not fresh, youthful, standing on the edge of a new idea.  It terrified me. 

I didn't mind having a faded "cover," antiquated fonts, or crackly paper...but please, oh, please don't let me become editorially passé.

Praying with Mary Baker Eddy's:

"Immortal Mind feeds the body
with supernal freshness and fairness,
supplying it with beautiful
images of thought"

I have discovered that in the kingdom of heaven there is no obsolescence.  We can never be outdated since God is the only Mind.  And this Mind is omni-present -- always in the present.  It is constantly refreshing the environment of consciousness with Its most current ideas, concepts, insights.  

In this atmosphere of Mind, there is, as Eddy assures us, "supernal freshness and fairness."   

But its not enough to claim that I my thoughts -- no matter how humanly mature I am -- are supernally fresh and fair, youthful and current.  I have to also look at the attending truth about "children." 

As part of her definition of Children. in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, Eddy states:

"God's thoughts, not in embryo, but in maturity"

And elsewhere, in speaking of mental vitality, she writes:

"Man is God's reflection,
needing no cultivation,
but ever beautiful and complete."

So, here's the deal:  If I want to be able to claim my freedom from obsolescence -- and experience the attending spiritual freshness I long for -- I also have to accept my freedom from any false sense of personally cultivated inspiration, maturity of insight, or experiential hierarchy.   

Neither obsolescence for me or immaturity for my children, my neighbors, or you...I think this is the perfect recipe for universal and supernal freshness, fairness...and wisdom. 

But I think I'll keep the white hair.  I've waited for it since I was in my twenties, and I like it.

offered with love...

Kate

[photo credit: Samantha Hopple, Summer 2012]

"oh darling, don't you ever grow up..."

"...Oh darling, don't you ever grow up,
it could stay this simple
No one's ever burned you,
nothing's ever left you scarred..."

Much to my naivete' (you are welcome to read clueless-ness) of all things pop-culture, Taylor Swift's new CD Speak Now came out this week, and Samantha just had to send me a link to "Never Grow Up."  And to be honest, I have to say, I was a bit surprised at how much I really liked it.  It has a sweet message about the innocent joys of childhood, told through the eyes of a lyricist who knows the power of storytelling.  

So, this evening I have been thinking about the insidiousness push to "grow up." Not just for our children, but for each of us.  Grow up and be something, get something, own something, do something.  But what if, as Mary Baker Eddy says in her collection, Miscellaneous Writings 1883 - 1896:

"Beloved children, the world has need of you, - and more as children than as men and women:  it needs your innocence, unselfishness, faithful affection, uncontaminated lives. You need also to watch, and pray that you preserve these virtues unstained, and lose them not through contact with the world. What grander ambition is there than to maintain in yourselves what Jesus loved, and to know that your example, more than words, makes morals for mankind!"

And what would those "morals" be?  I can't help but return, again, to her definition of the word "moral" in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures:

"MORAL. Humanity, honesty, affection, compassion, hope, faith, meekness, temperance."

What do children teach us about these "morals" for mankind.  Well, I can only speak from my own experience, but our children have taught me so much more about moral courage, than I could ever have imagined. 

They have taught me about the humane act of living free from the judgment of others.  They have taught me to be innocently, joyfully honest about my moment-by-moment motives and desires, to be affection-based in all of my words and deeds, to be hopeful...always hopeful, to be compassionate with all of creation...birds, trees, spiders, to make faith more than just a system of thinking, but an attitude of trust in God...and others, to be meek (not inclined to anger or frustration) in every situation, and to be tempearate...modest, free from extremes...not abstinent or obstinate in my actions, at all times.  Sometimes they have taught me these lessons by example, and sometimes they have given me the perfect laboratory for proving that what I am studying, is getting through...and being practiced.

Yes, our children have taught me more about real moral courage, than I could ever have learned otherwise.   There is something about the way we listen to our children, trust their innocence, and are moved by their affection, that penetrates all our "learning" and makes us sit up and take notice.

Just the other day I was driving everyone home from school and asked about an incident I'd been "alerted" to by another parent.  One of our daughters said, "Mom, that's not our business to talk about."  Boy did that bring me into alignment.  If I wasn't going to "get" the scoop about what had "gone down," I had only one response...to pray.  To claim that God was "in control," and that I could trust His government, yield to His wisdom, expect His correction, and let God be God to me. 

Mary Baker Eddy, further says in Science and Health:

"Children are more tractable than adults, and learn more readily to love the simple verities that will make them happy and good."
        
Jesus loved little children because of their freedom from wrong and their receptiveness of right. While age is halting between two opinions or battling with false beliefs, youth makes easy and rapid strides towards Truth."

I believe, that if we watch them carefully, are willing to be open to them as our teachers, and practice our lessons faithfully, we, too, can relearn "to love the simple verities that will make [us] happy and good."

I can ask myself, each moment, "Okay Kate, do you want to live out from an aging, accumulative, accomplished, accreted thought...halting between opinions - yours or others, all the time,  battling with false beliefs?  Or, do you want to live a life of youthful freedom from wrong thinking about yourself, your family, your neighbors, and the world around you?  Do you want to live with a heart that is receptive, alert, aware of all that is right with the world?  Do you want to make easy and rapids strides towards the Truth of God's presence in each situation, or dig around for all the ways that He has let us down as a human family...allowing his children to sprial into an abyss of sophistry with all of its societal ills, mean-spirited gossip, and self-indulgent greed?"  I think the answer is pretty clear.  

I dont, we don't, no one ever needs to have the fresh blank page of their innocence burned by the flames of mistrust and disappointment, we don't have to be scarred by the imposition of dashed expectations, valueless opinions, or thoughtless criticism.  We can live steeped in hope, grounded in faith, and empowered by our innately youthful humanity and compassion.  We can make easy and rapid strides towards splashing wildly...and with abandon...in the sweet puddles of innocence, trust, meekness, affection, non-judgment, and honesty. 

So today...and over and over again throughout the day...I am choosing youth.  I am choosing to "never grow up." To refuse to enter the "place" where I am above, and beyond, being excited about all the good that is in the world.  I am choosing  to remain, now and forever, a child of God.  I am here to prove that:

"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."
-  B. Breathed

Thanks Sam for reminding me to be a child today...and every day.  I have on my red rubber boots (really!!...red paisley rubber cowboy boots) and I am ready to splash!!

with Love, 
Kate
Kate Robertson, CS

[photo credit:  Nathaniel Wilder 2010]

"I'm fifteen for a moment..."

"...Halftime goes by
Suddenly you're wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
the sun is getting high
We're moving on...

15 there's still time for you
Time to love and time to lose
Oh 15, there's never a wish better than this,
When you've only got a hundred years to live..."
- Five for Fighting

This song, "100 Years" by Five for Fighting, grabs me and doesn't let go.  Whenever I hear it on the radio, or recently on my friend, Liesl's Facebook page, I remember being 15, and it was magical...for a moment.  Then the next moment,  I was 15 and 20 seconds, then 15 years and 3 days, 17 minutes, and 45 seconds...you get the picture. Today I am 55...for a moment. And I really feel no different today, than I did at 15. I feel love deeply, I long to make a difference in the world, and I want to know the presence of God in my life. 15, 55...they are just numbers that come and go.  Each one of these numbers is as full of value in marking life milestones as those same numbers are in helping us count apples in a bowl, measure a room for wallpaper, or reconcile a check book.

15 was a space that marked an important time in my life.  It was sweet and full of learning...and I loved it.  I have enjoyed the bookmarks that were 23, and 35, and 48...placeholders that make it easy to reference those chapters when recalling a shared experience of joy, sorrow, triumph, or transitions with others.  I can say to my daughter, "when you were 11 and we lived in Colorado..." and we both know where to land as we remember events on our shared timeline. The number doesn't define her, it only serves as a valuable reference point in cataloguing our experiences together.

As I bookmarked tonight's milestone I couldn't help but write my own verse to 100 years:

"I'm 55 for a moment
No longer waiting for a reason to love
And I'm just grateful
Counting the blessings I have known..."

I will only be 55 for one moment.  But that moment will be rich with spiritual substance.  It will be teeming with the opportunity to be generous, kind, patient, good.  And although Life blesses me with an infinite number of moments, each one...including this 55th year, 8th hour, 33rd minute, and 27th second of this chapter in my eternal life book...is precious, treasured, and worthy of celebration. 

I will try to count every one of my moments as dear...sacred as that first moment I looked into my daughters' eyes, heard my mother's voice, tasted my first bite of pear, or felt the sweetness of true love.

In the last year I faced a health crisis that made me even more aware of how very precious each moment of life is.  Every moment.  Not one is disposable. Each is a gift.  A moment of life can be filled with beauty, movement, joy, affection, wonder.  Isn't it amazing!

When I think of the gift of life, I think of my mom.  No matter how many times she has faced seemingly insurmountable odds, she lives her life vigorously, and with a clear purpose.  She lives to bless, and every day she blesses the lives of the children she nannies.  She lives her life with such exuberance and hope...she always has. Her childlike joy and eager generosity have taught me that youthfulness is experienced in each and every moment that we choose to fill our hearts and minds with love.  My mom has always made me feel as though her life is more wonderfully rich because we, her children, are in it with her.  I hope she knows that we feel the same.  

"I'm 99 for a moment
I'm praying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are..."

15 there's still time for you
Time to love and time to choose
Oh 15, there's never a wish, better than this
When you've only got a hundred years to live..."

I hope your very next moment is a precious to you as the sound of a loved one's voice...and that it is filled with gentle friends, exhuberant joy, and a profoundly God-sent sense of purpose...and always with Love,
Kate
Kate Robertson, CS

Don't miss this precious "Peter Pan" moment from when I was six years old...it broadcast on television each year...what joy it brought to us all...i liked being six...I still do!!  Watching this today I am six again...for a moment!!

love, Kate

"...digging the dancing queen..."

"...I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder - 
of a fairy tale
You can take the future - 
even if you fail
I believe in angels -
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream
I have a dream..."
-Abba "I Have a Dream"

Okay, I admit it...I have watched "Mamma Mia" more times than I can bring myself to type in numbers, but something about this movie makes me want to take all 54 years in this chapter of my eternity book and shred them into celebratory confetti.

I do have a dream...many of them.  But the fabulous thing is...the dreams I once had (at least the ones that didn't include "stuff") have all mostly come true in ways that are clearly Love-inspired and God-bestowed.  And new dreams are born in my heart each day.  Dreams of renewable energy, stronger alliances with our global neighbors and partners, integrity in government and business, and more grace...always more grace.   Dreams of seeing things in new ways,  refreshed friendships, freedom from past regrets, a false sense of achievement, or failure....anything that would keep me from dreaming new dreams with all my heart.

There is something about watching my favorite dramatic actress of all time, Meryl Streep, dancing and singing through the village streets of a Greek island, jumping on her bed, and getting "twitterpated" at the sight of a long-lost beau, that makes me want to join her in cavorting through olive groves with dozen of other liberated Greek housewives and grandmas.   I want to play air guitar on a pier and throw my friends into the harbor!!

I remember a Sunday School student once remarking, with exasperation that he was worried about his mother.  He was concerned that she had begun to lose her mind.  She was singing at the breakfast table, thinking about changing careers, and wearing her hair differently.  Didn't she know that she was a mother with grown children?  And wasn't he the kid, the one who was supposed to be exploring life and considering his options...not her? 

I remember suggesting to him, that if he wanted her to trust him as he tried new things, struck out on new paths, and discovered the world around him, he would have to trust her to do the same.  I tried to help him see that our hearts - the province where dreams reside and where God, Love, reigns supreme - never grow old.  The heart that dreams never ages. It never atrophies.  It never matures, loses its vitality, and becomes intractable. It never ceases to dream, to hope...to imagine the presence of goodness, the promise of Love, the fullness of Life.

In all my spiritual reading, scriptural research, and study, I have never found a single reference to "the adult of God."  It's always the "child of God," the "children of Israel."  Even Jesus, the most mature spiritual thinker I know of, referred to God as "Abba"...a term that is translated "daddy" or "papa."

We never become any more mature than we have always been...completely child-like, innocent, pure, willing, open, joyful, ready, eager.  This is our maturity, our fullness of being.  In her definition of "Children" from the glossary of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, Mary Baker Eddy says, "...God's thoughts, not in embryo, but in maturity..."

We exist from all eternity in this state of maturity...fullness, completeness, wholeness...we are never less, or more than the All-in-allness of the divine being.  We live, and move, and have our being in the same state of child-like wonder, trust, and joy...forever and ever and ever....throughout time, space and eternity.

"I have a dream
A song to sing...."

Celebrate your dreams...sing in the streets, jump on your bed, throw a bundle of sticks, say "oh Yea!!!" (by the way, this is the part in the movie that my daughter made me watch in bed with her...over and over and over and over and over again)...and have the time of your life as a dancing queen with your girlfriends...or husband, or children, or neighbors...or a a few random Greek housewives on an island in the Aegean...

enjoy this clip...but if you want to see the real movie...with the scene of the granny with the stick...rent the movie...this clip is just a taste...

"oh yea!!!'
you can dance
you can jive
having the time of your life
see that girl
watch that scene
digging the dancing queen..."
- from "Dancing Queen"
(also by Abba)

in childlike wonder...believing in angels and fairytales...and in you...always with love,

Kate