"Oh life that maketh all things new
The blooming earth,
The thoughts of men…"
I have been wrestling with what feels like a gorilla for the past few weeks…again. I was beginning to feel as if this match would never end. I had been over the same pros and cons at least a hundred times. I had looked at it from the same twenty angles. I had considered the impact each option would have on everyone involved. Then I walked away from it for some broader perspective. But I kept coming back to the same almost conclusions. I kept hoping that someone would intervene, that there would be an eleventh hour reprieve from not only the situation itself, but from my constant mulling over of the options and consequences.
That was when the above line from a much-loved hymn (with words from Samuel Longfellow) came to mind. It was like having a soft spring breeze blow through a stuffy room that has been closed up all winter. I could expect my thoughts to be made new.
I didn't have to think that those same pros and cons were going to be the extent of my thinking on this issue. I didn't have to feel helpless and hopeless waiting for outside intervention. I could come to my prayers with an open heart for hearing something completely new...each moment.
My dilemma involves the closing of a major highway in our city. It has been the primary artery for getting from our home in an urban neighborhood to our children's school in the suburbs. We have generally enjoyed a 20 minute door-to-door trip on each of the four legs we travel every day. Twenty minutes to take them there and twenty minutes back every morning. Then twenty minutes to go pick them up and twenty minutes back home. Occasionally we have hit a traffic sang and our trip takes 30 minutes, but it has been painless.
With the closing of the highway we are looking at our commute doubling. Doubling!!! I have been frantic. Could we/should we move? What surface street routes will be quickest? What time will we need to leave by in order to get the girls to school on time? Can we possibly impose this kind of commute on our children, our family and friends who will be visiting our home from time to time? The questions just wouldn't stop. What was the most right, the most loving, the kindest thing to do…for everyone? If we leave our neighborhood, what are we saying about our commitment to joining hands with our neighbors who will also be navigating this difficult situation. Neighbors who may not have the freedom or the resources to relocate in the midst of this real estate market.
And beyond that, we love our neighborhood. We love being a part of an urban community with a major university only a block away. We love having a neighborhood school on our corner where children from the neighborhood play kickball and hopscotch on the asphalt and run around the block for PE. We love interacting with thought-leaders who are wrestling with public policy, health-care, human rights, literature and technology at our local coffeehouses. And we love it not just for ourselves, but for our children. We love that our daughters have access to museums, the zoo, galleries, coffeehouses, and people who introduce diversity and texture into their experience. We love that our son had a job through his senior year of high school at the local coffeehouse where he met university students, professors, neighborhood characters, and urban legends.
But we also love that our children feel peaceful and happy about the suburban school they attend. We are grateful that they feel so invested in their school community and enjoy friendships that have been nurtured since preschool. We appreciate the freedoms they experience in a suburban setting…having a dog, a yard to play in, closer proximity to friends/relatives making the planning and execution of playdates much easier.
As the deadline for the highway closure draws closer and closer I have been a bit panicky. We have to DO something…don't we???
But this hymn gives me peace. I don't have to do anything but trust God to "make all things new". To give me new thoughts about this adventure each day. We will know each moment of every day what is the right route to take, when to leave, and how to make the best use of the time we will spend together in the car. And if there are other options we need to consider, God will make them clear to us…we won't have to frantically search for answers…they will bloom naturally out of our love for everyone involved.
And I finally realized that this isn't just about finding an answer for me and my commute, for me and my family. It is about, as Mary Baker Eddy suggest in her poem, Mother's Evening Prayer: "His arm encircl[ing] me, and mine, and all." Every driver on the roads with us will be guided rightly, led to take routes that keep traffic flowing smoothly and gracefully…like a ballet of cars and drivers and passengers…all being directed by a grand and wise Choreographer. We are in this together. We are a community. We are neighbors. Our community garden will not be over crowded. We have been planted by a divine hand, watered with grace, encouraged by the sunlight of honest affection, nourished with faith, and grounded in our trust in His promise…our thoughts - our routes, timetables, choices and decisions - will be made new.
"From hand to hand the greeting flows
From eye to eye the signals run,
From heart to heart the bright hope glows,
The seekers of the Light are one..."
the adventure begins...with Love,
Kate
