"Where are you going
My little one, little one
Where are you going
My baby, my own
Turn around and you're two
Turn around and you're four
Turn around and you're a young girl
Going out of the door..."
- Belafonte/Greene/Reynolds
Tonight our daughters, and their fifth and sixth grade friends, gathered with their parents and school administrators for "the movie". We've all been through it. You know, that awkward film that describes the changes our bodies go through sometime between age 8 and 13. This one was done quite well compared with the very obtuse version we watched in 1964.
Emma and Clara's school did something lovely before the screening. They hosted a brief inspirational talk that provided a Biblical context for these inevitable changes. Our friend Dick Davenport, the Executive Director of Higher Ground Bible Seminars, really hit a home run on this one for me. I loved his willingness to stand in front of over forty 10/11 year olds and talk about puberty in a way that was not only engaging, but gave them a reason for embracing these changes as a spiritual rite of passage.
He started by reminding us all that in each major religious tradition this season of changes is celebrated. Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, Quinceañeras, Confirmations, the public reading of the Koran, church membership, etc. provide young spiritual thinkers with an outward acknowledgment of a deep inner change.
Then he asked our children if they could think of some Biblical examples of young men or women who we know because of this time of change in their lives. Hands raised and they contributed stories of Jesus' in the temple learning and talking with the rabbis and lawyers, Samuel hearing the voice of God and at first thinking it was his mentor, the priest, Eli, and young David asserting his spiritual courage and confidence before Saul and offering to bring down Goliath with five smooth stones. The girls were reminded that they too had an example in young Mary Baker Eddy who challenged her family minister at this age, questioning the doctrine of predestination in her interview for church membership and garnering this same minister's respect and admiration for her integrity.
Then he said something that really resonated with me and caused me to search for a scrap of paper and dig in my pocket for a pen. He helped all of us see that although we have been educated to think that these seasons of change are precipitated by elevated hormone levels, organic evolution, glandular secretions, and/or structural growth...we see, through the lives of these Biblical models that the changes really start in the realm of spirit.
He said, "These physical changes aren't what's driving your life. These physical changes are what's following your inner spiritual growth." I loved this idea. It reminded me of what Mary Baker Eddy says in Science and Health, "Consciousness constructs a better body when faith in matter has been given up." And for me this suggests that, if what is precipitating these physical changes is a deeper spiritual evolution, then the effects have to reflect the spiritual goodness inherent in any God-based, God-caused change. There don't have to be any negative side effects of this deep inner spiritual growth. No mood swings, social discomfort, crankiness, family friction. These changes can portend greater maturity, better responses to social uncertainty, more harmony within family relationships, and less selfishness.
Our assembly broke into two groups for the film. The boys and their parents went down the hall where they viewed it safely distanced from our room full of giggling girls. Especially during the drawings of those funny bodily changes. I was one of those giggling. It's still funny (and awkward) 45 years later.
But what I am taking away from the evening is not just some great ideas to think about with regard to our preteen children. These same ideas are just as helpful in considering the changes that my generation of men and women are facing as we continue to grow and mature. There don't have to be any negative side effects as we move into our next seasons of change. Perhaps wisdom is giving birth to a body that simply uses its resources more wisely. It's not that my metabolism is slowing down, but just that I need less fuel to operate it. I can't imagine a more fuel-efficient vehicle saying, "Yes, I know that I get 35 miles per gallon, but I really like the taste of fuel, so could I just guzzle it down anyway?"
Could it be that this new, more efficient chapter in our lives reflects a deepening sense of spiritual growth that is actually precipitating the changes we have been told are driven by hormones, glands, and aging...and that we have falsely interpreted the "symptoms" of this evolution as inherently negative. I am so ready to embrace the deepening of wisdom, grace, and dignity in us all...as well as the body it's giving birth to.
I'm looking forward to discovering what my Biblical matriarchs...those wise spiritual wise sages...have to say about all of this through their life stories. I am ready to learn from them about maturity, poise, and the beauty of holiness. .I can already think of a few I want to have tea with today...thanks Dick,
Kate
