"catching the unseen..."

"and He will raise you up

on eagle's wings..." 

Watching a lone eagle this afternoon reminded me of how it feels to settle in to the place of prayer - listening for God's voice to lift me higher.  An eagle doesn't just sit on the edge of a branch or a cliff, with her wings tucked -- waiting for the thermal to lift her up.  There is a moment of reciprocity.  A moment when she lifts her wings and steps off into what cannot be seen, but is felt.  It is as real for her, as the granite beneath her talons.

Once there is this moment of connection -- the opening of her wings and stepping forward, uniting with the ever-present current of air (or thermal) she catches -- there is flight. There is a choreography that cannot exist without this unity.  The thermal cannot be seen without the form of the eagle to give it visibility, and the eagle is motionless without the invisible current that lifts her.

I love this relational aspect of prayer.  Yes, God is ever-present and always speaking, guiding, directing, protecting us -- and for this I am so forever grateful. But there is something so beautiful, and sweet, and powerful about the "dance" of opening my heart, and stepping into the "presence" -- of actively listening.  This is not a petitioning, but a celebration of Soul.  It is song, and dance, and poetry. It is the marriage of lyric with melody and movement. It is pure and refreshing.  It is both comforting and inviting. 

This kind of prayer isn't asking for anything. For why should we need to ask,  when our all-powerful, Father-Mother God already knows all -- and loves us, so much. This prayer wants nothing but to be one -- to dance -- with the Divine.  This is not the day-to-day "rushing about madly,"  while knowing that God is "in charge" kind of praying.  It is something quite different. 

This is the prayer of sitting quietly in the lap of the Father just to feel His arms around you.  It is feeling your heart beating along with His. It is to be so still that His breath stirs the downy hairs at the nape of your hopes. It is to be known - with such tenderness that you sigh more deeply into His care with each trusting release.

I never doubt that the thermals of Spirit will be there when I step off the ever-crumbling ledge of human control or worry -- the undulating edge that my life often looks and feels like.  Those moments when thunderheads blacken the horizon, and I think I can neither see a divine plan -- before or behind. When it looks as if lifitng my wings will put them right into the path of a lightning bolt.  I do it anyway, and there is a rush of peace when I feel that invisible current under my heart -- lifting it above doubt and despair.  It is not unlike the rush of love I feel when I look into my daughters' faces and remember that God trusted me with His precious child.

When it seems as if I'm falling out of grace.  I pause for just a moment, and shift in this space of listening.  And I can feel yet another current of God's love carrying me out of the descent. 

This is what prayer feels like to me.  I love riding these thermals of Love -- in joyful celebration of Her unseen ever-presence.  It is how I remind myself that what is unseen is often more powerful than what is not. It is to be raised up, "on eagle's wings.". 

offered with Love, 

Cate

"I pray you dance..."

"…I hope you never fear
those mountains in the distance.
Never settle for the path
of least resistance.

Living might mean taking chances...
but they're worth taking.
Lovin' might be a mistake...
but it's worth making.

Give the heavens above
more than just a passing glance…
and dance…"

I love Leann Wommack's version of "I Hope You Dance," and used it in an earlier post by the same title a few years ago, but this version of "I Hope You Dance," by Ronan Keating takes me apart...especially that last line.

Dance seems to be an inspirational theme today...friends Heather, Traci*, and Sandy have posted dance-related inspiration...so I think I'll stay with their theme,  and walk  forward into this sea of whirling dervishes a bit and see where it takes me.

I am a dancer...ballet was my discipline, but take me to a wedding, or a country bar with a great band, and I'm just as happy as a child.  I love the feeling of having the moving air lift my hair off my shoulders, while my bare feet skip and slide through the long grass at a blue grass festival,  or worn slippers...of the palest pink leather...leap off the wooden floorboards of an old stage...I am in heaven.

My body is my partner in those moments.  We are a celebration of the marriage between mind, body, and spirit.  There is a sense of wholeness in the way music is interpreted as movement.  It is this sense of wholeness, that brings the coincidence of divinity with humanity into clear focus for me....almost like no other single experience or act.   To understand God as the divine Choreographer is the definition of "integrity" for me.

Integrity, integration, integral...nothing separate, fragmentary, silo-ed, categorized...no hierarchy between Mind, Soul, Spirit...Love.   Mary Baker Eddy,  in Miscellaneous Writings 1883 - 1896:

"In Science,
body is the servant of Mind,
not its master:
Mind is supreme.."

And since the body is the servant of Mind (one of the seven synonymous names for God) then, it is also the servant of Love, Principle, Truth, Life, Soul, and Spirit.

The body, dancing to the music of Love's urging, embraces a friend, carries a child out of harm's way, walks any distance to reach someone in need.

The body, swaying to the rhythms of Truth's demanding, swings its legs over the edge and rises from the bed of pain, sweeps the floor, swings a hammer during a Habitat for Humanity project.

The body, stepping to the precision of Principle's march, places a firm, but gentle hand on the shoulder of a despairing neighbor, neatly braids the child's hair, bends to lift the weary and the weak.

The body, leaping at the opportunity to serve Spirit, joyfully bounds onto the basketball court, quickly steps into the fray, effortlessly slips into the hand of the fearful offering comfort.

The body, weaving beauty at Soul's persuasion, sweeps her bow across a cello's strings, breathes a lullaby through the nursery, paints a garden in the midst of urban blight.

The body, poised in anticipation of Love's direction, sits in stillness with the widow, expectantly watches for the errant child, patiently serves, persistently waits.

This body...that so faithfully serves Mind's holy, sacred purpose...is beautiful, graceful, flexible, strong, and full of promise. 

Let it dance...

This was a helpful reminder yesterday, when everything in me said, "you can't possibly move freely"...I just kept repeating, "let it dance..."  And it did.

I pray you dance...with Love,
Kate
Kate Robertson, CS

*And if you need something to remind you of how much fun dancing is, watch this "Dancing at the Movies" video...thanks Traci for the reminder!! 

"We come with purposes written on our hearts..."

"Redemption comes in strange places,
small spaces,
calling out the best of who we are

We come with beautiful secrets,
We come with purposes written on our hearts,
written on our souls.

We come to every new morning,
with possibilities only we can hold,
that only we can hold..."
- Sara Groves

A friend and I were emailing one another about the discovery of our deeper spiritual purposes.  It was a conversation that left me pondering the mixture of  deep content, and the demand for self-surrender, I feel in knowing what God wants of me.  Sara's song, "Add to the Beauty," sings to me of my purpose.  I want to add to the recognition of divine beauty, wholeness, and grace that is constantly coming to bloom in our lives, moment-by-moment.   I want to tell a better story.  No matter what "script" we have been handed, and might seem to be playing itself out in our lives, there is a better story beneath the surface of things.  And when we keep our eyes keenly focused, looking for God, good, in all things, we can find it.  It is always there.

"...I want to add to the beauty,
to tell a better story.
I want to shine with the light
that's burning up inside.

It comes in small inspirations.
It brings redemption to life and work.
To our lives and our work..."

Our conversation gave space to ideas that I'd been cherishing for the past few months. The questions pouring from my friend's heart: Why does this longing for personal direction almost feel like a physical tightness? Will I ever be able to really know, and let myself surrender to, God's purpose in my life? These questions, gave birth to the dialogue thread she has given me permission to share, in part, here:

Tightness and letting go...tightness and letting go...this is birth. This is mid-wifing the best in yourself, bringing your divine purpose forward into the light. 

It may look like contractions...a tightening, or seizing up...but it is really an expansion.  Much the way a balloon seems to return to a smaller size each time we take a deep breath while blowing it up.  But it never, ever returns to the old form...the one it held prior to that very first expansion.  It is always stretched a bit more with each breath so that the next expansion comes easier.

I know that you wonder if you will ever see that larger sense of purpose in your own life...whether you will discover those bigger dreams, higher aims.  Whether you will ever be new and alive with passion and divine direction...different from old forms and out-grown desires.

But, you are already different...you already have different dreams, different questions, a different vantage point than you had...even a week ago.  It's not something you have to decide to embrace or pursue, it has already embraced you, and this fresh breath of Spirit is blowing Its new life into your being, changing you...moment by moment...forever. 

This wildly, passionate you...the one who now loves to dress in bright colors, the you who is eager to try new foods, and paraglide from the edge of a cliff...  this you, is already alive and in formation...one beautiful, extravagant, exotic moment at a time. 

Let it happen.  Let Spirit, Pneuma continue to breathe Itself into your being.  Let it blow you, bear you like seed on the wind, carry you into your next chapter of holy labor, or time to be "at play in the fields of the Lord."  This is not a choice or a decision.  You don't have to go looking for your divine purpose.  As the Bible says,  "canst thou by searching find out God?"  Nope!  It comes to you and fills you with divine inspiration.   Those ins and outs, that feeling of ebbing and flowing urgency, passionate vision and then quiet contempation, they are the breath of God expanding and preparing you for a larger sense of life.  Or as Jesus said,

"I have come that they might have life,
and that they might have it more abundantly."

You asked me if this moment-by-moment embracing of a divine calling, a holy purpose, is enough for me?  Have I given up dreaming and desiring, wanting and needing?  I think I can say that what I have surrendered, is not a hunger for something more, but the fear that I might never find what I am looking for.

What I have given up is all the searching.  I am beginning to realize that I am really not a searcher, but an observer.  For the observer, there is no pursuing, no strategizing, no imagining.  As an observer, I watch to see what each moment includes, and how it will carry itself out.  If it includes a "dream," fine, I will dream it.  But it is no longer a down-the-road, someday-when kind of dreaming.   It is not "out there."

It is my truth.  It is what I am, right at that moment, embracing as conscious reality.  It is, right then,  a PRESENT thought, idea, image, concept.  It is not a future "imagining." It is, right now, a gift of beauty and wonder to bless me in the now of my conscious consideration...in my reflecting of Soul, my deep pondering.  And it is in the now, always, ever and only, in the now. 

But to answer your question:  I am no longer searching for a dream to build my hopes on. I have stopped trying to track down the perfect life.  I am trying to live in perfect contentment...right here, right now.  I am discovering a peaceful sense of freedom from decades of "want." 

It has come on the heels of a long chapter, one that has been filled with salvation-focused prayer and surrender. It has not been any more pretty, planned, harmonious, desired, or less uncomfortable than the humbling posture of any birth.  But like birth, it doesn't wait for us to say, "I'm ready now, go ahead,."  It moves in us, and through us, and can be neither resisted, or sought out.  It is simply to be yielded to, with complete abandon. 

I am still, very much, in the throes of that self-birthing.  But I no longer care if it ever really ends.  I am realizing that this just may be the holy position, stance, and posture I am being "called" to, according to Her spiritually designed purpose for me. 

I am aware that it really doesn't matter if I know who, what, where,  or when the "child" will come, it's going to happen anyway.  And just like with birth, it will come step-by-step, moment-by-moment.  I can only hope that I will breathe through each expansion (not contraction) with a sigh of grace, a exhalation of kindness, a breath of patience, meekness and non-judgment.

I am realizing now that I can always entertain myself by imagining how I would want to give birth, what I might want to wear to the hospital, the relaxation techniques I will use to get me through the contractions.  I can imagine when the due date will be, and what that date might mean.  I can dream about who will be there with me, and what music I will have playing on my ipod to distract me from discomfort and worry.

But when the birth happens...it happens.   And when my child, my growing and evolving divine purpose, comes forth, there is no stopping, designing, or controlling it.  In that moment, I can only decide what I am going to focus on.  And I am choosing, with each expansion of my purpose, to focus on the face of the One who made me, and loves me.  I am choosing to remember the look of love in His eyes.  All the dreaming, wanting, or imagining on earth...or in heaven...cannot change His purpose for me.

As we weep our way through our moments of self-birthing, perhaps it is those very tears that are the gift of "purpose" we are being called to...to cry, cleanse, purify...to surrender.  Our spiritual purpose in life is not a noun.  It is not this job or that dream, a particular guy, business, mountain, town, or title.  Our spiritual purpose is always a verb, an action.  We are purposed as verbs...to do something.  We are verbs needing no condition, geography, person, address, or circumstance to be ourselves...ever unfolding, ever evolving "from a boundless basis." For me it was the end of seeing myself in terms of a job, a career, a title...and the beginning of simply showing up each moment according to His, God's, purpose for me.

"...It comes in loving community.
It comes in helping a soul find it's worth.

This is grace, an invitation to be beautiful.
This is grace, an invitation.

And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story
I want to shine with the light
That's burning up inside..."

You have a divine purpose. Let it be born in you, let it bear you up, let yourself be borne...carried on the wings of the morning...into a higher and holier space. The space that is your calling. A calling...a purpose...that is, and always has been, yours, eternally yours.

with Love,
Kate
Kate Robertson, CS

"Here, and There, and Everywhere..."

    "...I want Him everywhere
and if He's beside me
I know I need never care
But to love Him is to see Him everywhere
Knowing that Love is to share

To be there and everywhere
Here, there and everywhere..."
-     Lennon/McCartney

Okay, I admit that I have taken a bit of license with the above lyrics for "Here, and There, and Everywhere," but this is how I hear it these days.  For me it is all about Him...it is always about God. 

And it really was the first song that filled my heart when I considered writing about this healing tonight.  Besides, I love, love, love this song.  Thanks guys. 

So, about the healing.  I woke up the other morning with a headache.  Right away, from my first conscious moment, I was in severe pain. It was a surprise.  It didn't fit into any headache patterns I'd experienced in the past and so I didn't seem to have a well-honed spiritual response at the ready...in my back pocket...to draw upon.  My prayers didn't flow as effortlessly as I would have expected, which sent me directly into the space of deep spiritual stillness.

At first I just needed to silence the screaming of "My head hurts so much..."  So I listened for the music of Spirit to cut through that loud and insidious voice of pain.  It was vehemently insisting that I was in so much pain I could not think.  I was already certain that it was only screaming because it knew that it had neither the authority or power to stop me from thinking clearly (for more on this, see "Screaming Has no Authority") but I still longed to feel what did actually have authority and power...spiritual law in operation.

As I sat there, open and willing to hear God's message of peace, the thought came through, "It says your head aches, but it isn't saying that your hand aches. That's proof that it isn't true, or a product of Truth, because Truth, God is always All-in-all.  It can never be localized, but is always universal.  Whatever claims to exist only here, but not there...or there, and not here, is a lie.  Spirit, God is always universal, impartial, omni-present, everywhere...and in everything."

Wow...I could see the implications of this law in operation immediately.  And it went way beyond its application to my headache.  I spent the next four hours pondering all the ways this truth, this law, could be applied in my life and in the lives of others.  I never thought about the pain in my head again...but I sure thought about this law of God, good's All-in-allness.

I was amazed, when I actually started thinking about it,  how many ways I've been "talked" into believing that a lie was the truth.  Everytime I thought I could be happier at the beach than in the Midwest, that I could feel pain in my head while my leg was fine, whenever I've been convinced that intelligence existed more in one person than another, or that peace could be experienced in one nation, more than in another.  That my daughter could feel my love more completely when I was with her in South Africa than when we are farther apart geographically.  It went on and on.  I was fascinated at how obvious the lie was when I applied this very simple truth to discerning what was real.

I thought about Spirit and its nature.  When we feel peace, we don't just experience it in our finger, or in our house...real peace travels with us everywhere we go.  The same thing with joy, meekness, happiness, patience...they cannot be localized, but permeate every mental molecule of our existence.

Whenever something tries to tell us it exists in (or is absent from) a particular body part, a specific location, or a certain person...it is a sure sign that it is not Spirit, it is not God, or of God...therefore it has no authority with which to defend itself,  or law to stand on.

Mary Baker Eddy states in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, next to the marginal heading, "No divine corporeality":

"The everlasting I AM is not bounded nor compressed within the narrow limits of physical humanity, nor can He be understood aright through mortal concepts. The precise form of God must be of small importance in comparison with the sublime question, What is infinite Mind or divine Love?"

No matter how hard pain, fear, evil, sin, disease, or death tries to be God-like...to speak with authority...it can never be all, or in all.  There is always an exception.  Nobility of character thrived in the middle of Auschwitz, meekness radiated from the cross, forgiveness sings from the wreckage of betrayal and hate.

And in contrast, hatred has never been able to destroy deep spiritual peace...but feeds it with ample opportunity for growing into heart-swelling grace.  War has never been able to shake a man's love for God...but gives him a canvas on which he paints the strength of his faith. Personal wealth has never been able to take the place of a generous charity, but when it fails to bring us joy, sends us searching hungrily for opportunities to give, and in giving find in ourselves the best we can be. 

In listening for the language that any suggestion comes in...All-in-all, or localized, personal,  partial, circumstantial...I have a filter for discovering what is real.  I have become more alert, than ever, to what actually does have the law-based authority of Truth.  And, more importantly, I have the tools for discerning what is a lie...a puffed up, arrogant, bully.  A tyrant voice that throws itself at body parts, locations, people, and situations...but is never, EVER, able to make itself really God-like...All-in-all.

I can't think of anything I rather do than, "think on these things"...

with Love,

Kate
Kate Robertson, CS

"this is the sound of one voice..."

"This is the sound of one voice
One spirit, one voice
The sound of the One who makes the choice
This is the sound of one voice..."

We often feel that we are so alone in the thoughts we think.  That what we care about...our hopes, dreams, values, and visions...are our own.  But what if this song by the Wailing Jennys, "One Voice," is the truth of our one being, founded and grounded in one Spirit.  This one Spirit is the sweet wind that blows through us making music grand and gentle.

"...This is the sound of voices two
The sound of me singing with you
Helping each other to make it through
This is the sound of voices two..."

I've often wondered why we long for companionship.  Why the Bible promises that God, "setteth the solitary in families."  If we are already united in the oneness of Spirit, why do we hunger for this two-ness? 

For me, it boils down to consistency of being.  Whether it is in a marriage, or an enduring friendship...parenting a child or a lifetime of sharing memories as siblings...these one-on-one relationships serve as a window on the consistency of our progress as patient, kind, compassionate, nonjudgmental selflessness beings.  It is one thing to be kind to a stranger or an acquaintance in a moment of inspiration...but to be consistently kind to our husband, sister, best friend, daughter...this is something quite divine.  

"...This is the sound of voices three
Singing together in harmony
Surrendering to the mystery
This is the sound of voices three..."

Sharing our love with another is pure joy.  Staring into the eyes of our beloved, or communing with a bestest and dearest friend is sweet bliss.  But opening the arms of that precious relationship to include another...a child, a new friend, someone in need... expands our reach.  Or as the Bible says, it "enlarges the place of thy tent;...stretches forth the curtains of thine habitations: spares not, lengthens thy cords, and strengthens thy stakes..."  Our stake in humanity...our humanity...is strengthened when we selflessly share someone we love with another someone.

I saw this so clearly earlier this summer at camp.  Our twins, Emma and Clara, share everything. They love eachother so devotedly.  They live, sleep, play, learn, travel, and work together all year long. They share many good friends, but there is always a sense of their oneness...within the context of any friendship.  But this summer they opened their arms to include their cousin Tatiana.  There were so many times when I would catch sight of Emma (or Clara) with Tati, while Clara (or Emma) engaged in other activities, Or sometimes, it was both girls with Tati, and there was such a deep sense of inclusiveness that you could actually see it in their eyes, their body language..hear it in their laughter.  This opening up of their love for one another to include Tati was beautiful to see.

"...This is the sound of all of us
Singing with love and the will to trust
Leave the rest behind it will turn to dust
This is the sound of all of us..."

No matter how many are within the tent, we are not just individual tents...nomadic tribes in a searing vast desert of unrealized human hopes and broken dreams...huddling around our family fires in sympathy with one another, and for solace.  We are a village with a great Father who loves us, and is leading us all in a rising song of harmony, joy, and unity. 

Our dreams are shared dreams, and they are supported, sustained, and realized by our one hope to live together in peace and unity...fellowship and cooperation. We are not isolated, solitary, self-determined mortals who must look out for ourselves, or be left to starve in the desert.  We are one spiritual family caring for one another's needs, cherishing eachother's dreams, looking for opportunities to enlarge the place of our tent by taking another in and feeding him at our table piled high with love.

"...This is the sound of one voice
One people, one voice
A song for every one of us
This is the sound of one voice
This is the sound of one voice..."

This is the sound of one voice because that one voice...echoing through the chambers of memory and expectation...is God's.  And each of us can pick up the tone, rhythm, and melody of that divine voice and join in a song of:

"Pure humanity, friendship, home, the interchange of love, [which] bring to earth a foretaste of heaven. They unite terrestrial and celestial joys, and crown them with blessings infinite." 
- Mary Baker Eddy

Listen carefully and you will hear its soft strains...of Love...

with love,
Kate
Kate Robertson, CS

[photo credit:  Christian Hagenlocher 2009]