"in a dream..."

"o dreamer, 

leave thy dreams 

for joyful waking..." 

I am a lucid dreamer.  There, I have said it. I always have been.  I don't know of a time when I have not had very beautiful, promising, inspiring dreams.  The above lines, from one of my favorite hymns, "o dreamer", has always made me question the validity of those dreams.  

I do not have lucid nightmares.  I do not have nightmares.  At least not since I started paying attention to my sleeping moments and thoughts, as vigilantly as I am to my waking thoughts.  

But still, I have always wondered about the place of dreaming in the life of a spiritual thinker. Do we just dismiss anything that happens when we are sleeping -- good or bad -- as if it is simply an illusion?  Do we accept that whatever happens in our "waking" moments as more real, more worthy of our active conscious acceptance or dismissal. 

These are questions that have poked at me for most of my life.  

Just the other day, I glimpsed a bit more of the truth (for me) about these questions.  It came in the form of a Bible story -- from I Kings 3 -- that is probably very familiar to anyone who might have stumbled upon this blog.  

It is the story of Solomon's encounter with God in a dream -- yes, in a dream.  God asks him what He can do for him.  And Solomon first thanks God for his care of his father, David the King, and then he asks for "an understanding heart..." which God gives him -- in a dream. 

This was such a beautiful gift for me.  And an admonition.  How many times have I encountered good, the promise of divine purpose, a loved one, an expansive sense of community, spiritual gifts -- in a dream -- and have woken in the morning to dismiss them, as "just a dream," -- beautiful, but not real.

How many times have I glimpsed the promise and turned aside in morning to return to my "real life," -- in which that same beautiful promise seems untenable and beyond reach or comprehension?  How many healings have I had in a dream that I did not accept or acknowledge in the morning in the light of a new day?  How much good have I dismissed as just a dream? 

I am vigilant about preparing my heart for the silencing of my head -- the human mind -- before going to sleep, so that I can experience the restfulness of an active conscious sense of God's presence in my life.  I redeem the "day" I have just completed with attentiveness and gratitude.  I nourish my heart with passages of Scripture and the writings of Mary Baker Eddy, I claim my right to consciously rest in the presence of Mind. 

But time after time, upon awaking, I shake myself from the dream and often sigh with sadness that it was just a dream.  I might wonder about the message, or consider the symbolism, but I have never given myself permission to be blessed, bestowed, healed, transformed -- for good -- through a dream. 

No more.  The Bible gives us precedence for the acceptance of divine good.  If Solomon could have that encounter with God in a dream and accept God's bestowal of a wise and understanding heart - so can we.  So can I.   So can you.  

Scripture encourages us to "try the spirits whether they are of God."  This is required of us whether awake or asleep.  Is it good?  Will it bless?  Is it self-absorbed or humanity-enriching? 

Mary Baker Eddy gives some sense of this new view when she asks: 

"Is there any more reality in the waking dream of mortal existence than in the sleeping dream?"

I would ask is there anymore reality in the waking dream of spiritual existence than in the sleeping dream?  

Not long ago I had a beautiful sleeping dream in which I was doing something that I could not do in my waking life because of a physical challenge.  In that dream I had been healed through Christian Science treatment and prayer.  When I woke, in the morning, I was able to move very freely -- for about fifteen minutes -- before I "remembered" that it was "just a  dream."  And suddenly all the symptoms surfaced.  I had dismissed the healing as being "just a dream," and got back to work in addressing the claim as if that healing experience had not happened. 

The healing came along.  But, what if I had been more aware of the uninterrupted presence of spiritual good operating in consciousness -- whether waking of sleeping -- and had defended that healing with the same clarity about God's love, that I defend every Christian Science treatment, its healing effect on human experience.

Solomon didn't wake up from the dream and say, "wow, that was cool, but it was just a dream.  Maybe some day God will bless me that way in my waking moments."  He accepted the spiritual good -- and acted out from that new view of himself. 

Whether in our waking or sleeping moments -- we can accept all good and dismiss what does not align with God's love. We can reject the nightmare -- waking or sleeping -- with the same confidence and relief that we feel when we wake in the morning and realize that the monster was not really chasing us up the stairs.

And we can accept the good we experience in a dream with the same joy that we feel rising from the bed of pain, having realized God's healing presence in our lives.

"O dreamer, leave thy dream for joyful waking..." now means something very different to me.  I now know that I can leave a dream-sense of the good I have experienced in a dream for a realization that God's presence knows no bounds of sleeping or waking.  If I have experienced a sense of God's love -- it is real, it is never to be dismissed or discarded as just a dream.

Thank you Solomon.  I have read your story countless time and not seen the gift in it.  How many more of these Scriptural promises are waiting in the stories of other spiritual pioneers and teachers?  The classroom is vast - the lessons are endless.  

offered with Love, 

Cate

"small things..."

“If there’s one thing that I’m keeping
out of all the things I’ve found
is that the best way to be heard sometimes
is not to make a sound.

And the things we want the most
fetch not a penny nor a pound,
and all it takes to find your feet
is just to stand your ground...”

I came across The Audreys' recording of"Small Things"this morning, and it felt like a tuning fork resonating within the very core of my being. Like the familiar, insistent, gentle...but firm, voice of my divine Parent.

I've been thinking a lot about the word "modesty" this summer...especially in light of Mary Baker Eddy's statements:

"The honest student of Christian Science is modest in his claims and conscientious in duty, waiting and working to mature what he has been taught."

and

"I am persuaded that only by the modesty and distinguishing affection illustrated in Jesus' career, can Christian Scientists aid the establishment of Christ's kingdom on the earth."

and

"Few people at present know aught of the Science of mental healing; and so many are obtruding upon the public attention their ignorance or false knowledge in the name of Science, that it behooves all clad in the shining mail to keep bright their invincible armor; to keep their demonstrations modest, and their claims and lives steadfast in Truth."

This concept of modesty is one that I keep coming back to, over-and-over again.

One of the most subtle taunts of the ego is the invitation to "be great." To have a great career, a great marriage, a great story to tell, a great accomplishment to attach our identities to, or a personal moment of greatness to celebrate as our own...like a thing we can possess and capitalize on. The bigger the better...right? I'm not so sure. In this age of "reality" television, great houses, great wins/losses, great wealth, great tragedies, and great dramas seem to be what it takes to get attention.

But Eddy, in referring to this age-old question, "who shall be greatest?" quotes Shakespeare:

"Great, only as I am good."

When did "being good," stop being "good enough?" The word "God," comes from the word "good." And in fact, in the first Chapter of Genesis, it states that:

"God saw all that He had made,
and behold it was very good."

If "good," was good enough for God, when did it stop being good enough for us. Why would we ever want to be more than what pleases Him.

This desire to be great, to have greatness, and to spin simple goodness into attention-grabbing greatness, comes with a lot of ego-baggage. It can't exist without an attending sense of hierarchy. To be great, we have to be better than good. We have to be better than something that is "not so great..." or, "just good." We have to have made a bigger difference, seen farther, accomplished more.

Whereas goodness levels the playing field to the basis of:

"God saw all that He had made,
and behold it was very good.
Thus the heavens and the earth were finished,
and all the host of them."

Finished. Done. Complete. Nothing more to be accomplished. And it's good. All good. Impartially, and universally good. Good as All-in-all. And good's only portion...all. No more, no less. Every person perfectly, completely, very good. Every story, healing, demonstration, accomplishment, achievement impartially, equally, immeasurably good. No hierarchy of good. Just good. Modestly good, inherently good, joyfully good...simply good.

I was recently reminded of an experience I had a number of years ago when I was helping to match inspirational speakers, with new venues for introducing Mary Baker Eddy's writings to an ever-expanding audience of readers.

One afternoon, a bookstore liaison called asking if she could schedule a particular speaker for an event at a large store in her own community. She explained that she had heard this speaker on a number of occasions, and that she just loved her message of inspiration and healing. She was especially eager to invite her friends and neighbors to the event, as the talk included a very dramatic, "BIG" healing. It just so happened that the event fit perfectly into the speaker's schedule. The host was thrilled.

On the Monday following the event, I called to see how it went. And I was surprised to discover that she felt pretty lukewarm about the talk. She was disappointed that the speaker had left out the dramatic healing, and had instead shared a "little" healing, of a headache, she'd had on her way to the bookstore that afternoon. I encouraged her to trust that the speaker had been praying for direction about what to share, and that she could be supporting the community's receptivity to the message...however modest.

Later that day the speaker herself called in. Without sharing what the host had shared earlier, I asked about the event at the large bookstore. She was thrilled with how it had all gone. She did, however, share that she'd been struggling with a severe headache all morning and that as she'd prayed for the event, the pain had completely dissipated. She said that she normally shared a "big" healing during this talk, but was led to replace it with the more modest healing of the headache, from that morning. She said that it just felt so "real" and "good" in that moment. And, that she had surprised herself in doing so.

But, even more surprising to her, she explained, was that quite a number of folks had come up to her afterwards and told her how much they appreciated her sharing that verymodest healing.

Later that week a "reader response card" (a postcard that was inserted in the back of each copy of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures published for bookstore sales) came in to our office from someone who had identified their purchase as connected with that particular talk. I smiled when I read, in the comments section, that he/she had purchased the book because the speaker had shared a healing of a simple headache. And that if it had been something more serious, the purchaser would not have felt that spiritual healing was something he/she could trust enough to try for themselves...but a headache was "doable."

I've never forgotten this. What if the speaker had let the "ego" drive her, inviting her to set aside a simple, good healing as "not enough," for a more notable, memorable, remark-able healing with more of a "wow" factor? It takes a radical act of humility to be simply good. And I can't help but wonder if the ideas in Science and Health would have seemed as approachable, practical, and "doable" to those new readers, had she opted for the "big" story.

Modesty. Simplicity. Goodness.

These qualities of heart...are as sweet and good as a cup of pure, clear, drinkable cold water. And to the thirsty child, it is a life-saving gift.

We have no record of Jesus talking about his own great works. We only have record of what others saw, and were led to bear witness to. In fact, when asked, by John's disciples, if he was "the one," or if they should look for another, he told them to go and "tell" (another Gospel record says, "show") John what things ye have seen.

This modest man, helped to define love for humanity. And Love is, as Eddy alludes in this statement from Science and Healthcharacterized by silence, meekness, and modesty:

"Love, redolent with unselfishness,
bathes all in beauty and light.
The grass beneath
our feet silently exclaims,
"The meek shall inherit the earth."
The modest arbutus
sends her sweet breath to heaven.."

This summer, as I've wandered the riverbanks of the Arkansas, hiked in the foothills and mountains, and spent sun saturated hours in the sage-peppered arroyo of the high desert, I've been letting "all nature" teach me about goodness and it's characteristic modesty.

And I have concluded that I am only just beginning to scratch the surface on what I can learn about Love, from Her lessons in this extraordinary classroom. The ego always wants something more, bigger, better...it always will. But today I am so deeply satisfied, and content, with goodness. And these have been good days. Days full of simple, small kindnesses. It has been more than enough.

Mother Teresa once said:

"There are no great things
to accomplish in this world,
only small things
done with great love.."

When I think of the small things I have witnessed..done with great love...I am profoundly humbled.

The only thing "great" is God. We are blessed in the presence of His goodness.

with Love,
Kate

"Everywhere..."

"I need you everywhere,
and as long as you're beside me
I need never care
For to love you is to
have you everywhere..."
-     John Lennon

I know that the original lyrics to Lennon's "Here, and There, and Everywhere," were written for a girl...but, that's just not the way I hear it these days.   Please forgive the liberty I have taken here....again.

It all started last fall, when I was writing a post about the omnipresences of Spirit, sharing a healing I'd experienced on the heels of realizing that any suggestion of something -- good or bad -- being exclusive to one location, person, body part, activity, etc....and not to another...is a lie.  A lie.  The opposite of the truth.  Not even a little bit true.  Not containing even one tiny molecule of truth.  No matter how good it may look, or how bad it may feel, it is a lie.  Period. 

Mary Baker Eddy promises in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures that:

"Love (God) is impartial and universal
in its adaptation and bestowals."

In the study and practice of Christian Science, the word "Love," when capitalized, is another name for God...along with Principle, Mind, Soul, Spirit, Life, and Truth.  These terms, or names, are synonymous - meaning that they are interchangeable...that the presence of one, directly implies the presence of the others. So, for example, if Love, as Eddy promises, is impartial and universal, so is Principle (order), Soul (beauty), Life (vitality), Mind (intelligence),  Spirit (substance), Truth (health).

I have come to see that this law of universal impartiality is the truth about God's relationship to each of us...individually and collectively.  It is a law that is reliable and foundational to our trust in Him as our Father...a Father who has no favorites. He never plays one child against another in His universal family.  And this truth holds us in a closer, gentler bond of sweet union and affection ...it embraces us in the gospel (the good news) of His generous, impartial Love.  The children in this family never need to compete for their divine Parent's affection, attention, resources, or time.  What a wonderful place to grow up!

I wonder sometimes, though, if we really live out from the liberty that this truth affords.  We talk about Spirit, God, being All-in-all.  And our prayers sing of a God who is omni-present...both present - as in everywhere, and present - as in always,  "now," in this moment.  But do we really trust these promises? Do we rest our hopes, our expectations,  and our freedom from the fear of "well, that's great for him/her...but not for me," upon them?

The other day I was listening to NPR (National Public Radio) on my drive across Kansas.  Reports of a stalled financial recovery and the ongoing collapse of the housing market, were followed by stories of congressional resistance to extended unemployment benefits, corporate corruption that continues to result in exorbitantly inflated bonuses for CEOs, and then, a heart-rending account of a young father who'd been the responsible provider for his family, until his middle management job had been cut and the loss of income was forcing them out of their home. Here was a man who desperately wants to work, but can't find a job...any job. 

My heart was sick, and soon my tummy was feeling sick, too.  I could easily see the cause-and-effect connection that wanted to present itself: "See Kate, you are completely upset by the ample evidence that God's love for humanity is partial and exclusive...resulting in growing a socio-economic caste system of haves and have-nots, therefore you are experiencing this unsettledness as an upset stomach."  But I knew that this kind of reasoning would get me nowhere. I needed to start with the truth of being, not lies, if I was going to get anywhere in addressing this turmoil.

I turned off the radio.  And as I began to pray for peace in my heart...and my tummy...I was reminded of the healing I'd experienced last fall, and the truth of God's universal omnipresence I'd come to trust, return to, and rely on, pretty consistently since then.  I reminded myself that if something...good, or bad...seems localized, it is a sure sign that it is a lie.   Truth, being synonymous with Spirit, cannot be contained, personalized, partial,  portioned, isolated, or exclusively experienced...by a segment of society, or a body part.

I prayed out from God's impartiality.  I claimed that the only things that were, or ever could be experienced as true and real, were those things that can't be localized.  Things like joy and peace...have you ever tried to feel peace only in your ear or your elbow, affection only in your wrist, or hope in your little toe.  But, even though my tummy was soon feeling well again, I couldn't seem to let the sense of sorrow go.  I found myself wrestling even more vigorously with the evidence of socio-economic inequity all around me.   I knew it wasn't going to dissolve without clear spiritual reasoning, so I persisted, continuing to go back to two of my base spiritual truths... over and over again:

"The starting point of divine Science is
that God, Spirit, is All-in-all,
and there is no other might, nor Mind."

and that:

"Love is impartial and universal
in its adaptation and bestowals."

As I prayed for clearer insights and spiritual guidance, I saw that although I loved these statements from Science and Health,  somehow they weren't quite enough.  I wanted scriptural bedrock...the inspired word of the Bible as a place to build my mental house on. This was what I knew I was reaching for. 

As a spiritual law student, the Bible is my constitution...it constitutes the foundation on which I build, and rest, my case in defense of our God-given liberty as spiritual thinkers.  It is my divine law library where I can often be found, at all hours...day and night...seeking precedence for placing unshakeable trust on the timeless, irrefutable laws of Spirit.

Persisting in prayer throughout the day, God led me quietly, and quite forcibly, to the exact Biblical truth that would ground my faith, and steel my trust.

It's probably important to explain, here, that as a student of Christian Science, I accept the premise that the first Chapter of Genesis (through the third verse in Chapter 2) is the spiritual record of Creation.  And the fourth verse of Chapter 2 through Chapter 5, as allegorical examples of how the opposite of truth...or the opposition to truth...would present itself to our thinking, and thereby color our experiences.

And in the midst of my Scriptural study I found this:

"We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, 'Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die."

YES!  Because this statement appears in the second chapter of Genesis, the record of creation that we believe is a lie...we get to thumb our nose at anything that mocks divine Love, anything that parades itself in front of humanity as injustice, inviting us to limit our hopes and defile our view of our Father and His love for us.   This false story refers to, and tries to get us to accept the false premise of a partial God, with a "special" tree.  It asserts that good and/or evil could be localized in one exclusive, and isolated, tree.  A lie.  And the fact that this story was placed in this "lying" second chapter of Genesis gives us the Biblical basis, the scriptural authority, for dismissing it as a fallacious tale...as an inversely instructive fable.  And by inversion, by stating what the lie, the opposite of the truth, looks and sounds like, it serves to point us towards the truth, God's impartial love...constitutional law for every citizen of the kingdom of heaven.  It gives each of us authority for rejecting this suggestion of divine selectivity, out of hand.

If something tries to say that goodness is here, and not there; that health is in one body part, but not throughout the entire system; if it tries to convince you that some have, and some don't, or that one person/group deserves good..justice, mercy, joy, peace, prosperity, wellness...and another doesn't, it is a bold-faced lie.  If you buy it in any form, it will come sneaking in through the back door of your experience, and bite you in the proverbial donkey.

Dismiss this lie of partiality with as much conviction as you would reject an imposed penalty for breaking an inhumane and unconstitutional law...therefore, a law that was never really a law to begin with...a law that never has, never is, and never will be... a law!  Dismiss it as confidently as if your neighbor came up to you one day and said that you were going to prison because you smiled on a Tuesday.  Well, you know, with absolute certainty, that there is no law that prevents you from smiling on Tuesday...so smile, laugh, kick up your heels, dance in the streets...you are free.  You are always free...impartially, universally, absolutely, spiritually, Biblically, joyfully free.

with Love, 
Kate
Kate Robertson, CS

[photo credit: Nathaniel Wilder 2010]