"Come with what's in your heart..."

"Come with What's in your heart
We all have our cross to bear
The sweet will grow sweeter
And you will be freer still
Come with what's in your heart...now"
Mary Huckins

It was one of those days when I felt as if I couldn't get traction on my best laid plans. I'd spent the morning thinking about the i the subject of "charity." I needed to compile inspirational citations for a church meeting and I longed for them to have the ring of Truth. What I really wanted, was to be moved by a perspective beyond the view from my office window.  I wanted to feel the deep drawn breath of humanity. To be filled with its hunger, and itsdefinition of true charity. 

All morning I'd imagined carving out an hour or two to return to our old neighborhood in the city. There, the hungry and homeless share the sidewalk with college professors and graduate students.  I knew that in this environment of social diversity, any citations I'd chosen would either ring true with meaning, or fall flat on the face of pretense...rather than practice.

But as hard as I tried all day to make it happen, my visit to the old neighborhood just wasn't in the cards, God had other plans for me. 

A last minute appointment, scheduled just before I had to pick the girls up from school, took me in exactly the opposite direction of what I'd intended.  I found myself in a suburban Starbucks where luxury cars -- rather than shopping carts filled with redeemable soda cans taken from trash bins and dumpsters -- defined the socio-economic baseline.

At first I was disappointed and cynical.  I'd longed to feel the want and woe of a neighborhood in which "need" trumped "want".  I couldn't imagine that I would run into anyone in that Starbucks who needed anything, much less charity.

But, I'd long-learned to trust that God was the Captain of my comings and goings. And that if He had led me there, and it was He who had put this desire in my heart to practically demonstrate, and apply these Bible-based principles...relating to the subject of charity... wherever I was, then this was exactly where I needed to be.

As I sat there praying, I couldn't help but notice, through the front windows, a large SUV pull into the parking lot.  A teenage girl and her mom got out and approached.  The mom was broken. There was no other word for the look in her eyes.  It was clear that there had been harsh words, and the mom's face was stoic, but pained with heartache.  The daughter's face was critical and cold.  The look she shot in her mom's direction was one of disrespect and disdain.  But her mom moved through the space between the car and the front door of the coffeehouse with dignity..reaching deep within herself for love, patience, and poise. 

I admired her grace.  It was palpable in the spite of the daughter's angry sniping at her heels.  All conversation stopped once they entered the store until mom turned to her daughter and quietly asked her what she would like from the barista.  A curt response followed and without reaction, the mom ordered graciously, thanking the boy behind the counter when he repeated the order perfectly and completed the transaction.

As I sat there, I realized that this woman was hungry.  She was as needy as anyone I might have met on the streets of my old neighborhood.  She needed kindness and understanding, and as a mom I I understood.  I was filled with admiration for her poise.  I was overflowing with an awareness of how truly beautiful her patience was in the face of disdain.   Although I was a bit embarrassed...not sure if she would think I was a bit odd...I rose from my chair and followed mother and daughter out of the Starbucks.  I called to her and she stopped and turned towards me.  I said to her, "You are beautiful.  I couldn't help but notice the dignity and grace with which you hold yourself.  I hope your daughter sees how beautiful you are."  She just looked at me and asked, "you really think I am beautiful?" I said, "Yes" And then I looked at her daughter who had a look of true surprise on her face as she said, "Do you really think my mother is beautiful?"  Again I said, "Yes, I think she is very beautiful...so graceful and beautiful."  With that, her daughter's face softened into a child's and she walked over to her mother and put her arm around her shoulder and said, "I think you are beautiful too mommy."  The mom looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "You just made my day.  I needed this.  Thank you." 

I learned so much in that encounter.  More than money, food, or a place to live, we all need to be seen for who and what we are.  We need to be seen for what we love and how we love and live. 

I learned that my view of that woman and her daughter was the most valuable thing I could give them.  More desirable and hungered for than gold, or cars, or a mansion on a hill.  And I had lots and lots of that kind of "seeing" to spare.  I had so much I could give it away all day and never run out.

I also learned that I should never prejudge anyone's experience.  Our gifts are needed everywhere we go.  We can never go to, or find, a place that is free of the need for spiritual gifts...compassion, understanding, generosity, kindness, long-suffering, genuine interest in another's life. And sometimes those gifts lead us to the sharing of a sandwich, a bus ticket, and most importantly, a cup of cold water in Christ's name. . 

Mary Baker Eddy says:

"The rich in spirit help the poor in one grand brotherhood, all having the same Principle, or Father; and blessed is that man who seeth his brother's need and supplieth it, seeking his own in another's good. Love giveth to the least spiritual idea might, immortality, and goodness, which shine through all as the blossom shines through the bud."

This passage took on new meaning for me the other day.  I realized that Love gives me...even when I think I have the least to give...might (the possibility to make a difference in another's life), immortality (the tirelessness of invigorating compassion), and goodness (helping someone see the good that is already present in their lives when it seems obscure) to bless the life of someone else.  In that moment of giving I realize how rich I am...I have something to give. 

Or as Peter said to the infirm man:

"Silver and gold have I none, but such as I have, give I thee..."

This spiritual giving was foundational to my mother.  When faced with opportunties for charitable giving, or philanthropy...even as a widow with eight young children and nothing in her bank account...she would affirm, for her own edification, as well as for anyone who thought they might try to convince her to hold back her widow's mite, "my children have the right to be generous."  I now realize what she has always understood, that giving is as fundamental as breathing to the human heart.

All you need to do is "come with what's in your heart".  Enjoy this beautiful song performed by one of my favorite Colorado-based folk/bluegrass/country bands, Dakota Blonde, and written by their lead singer and our friend, Mary Huckins. 

What is in your heart...right now...

with love,
Kate

[photo of Carol & Lizzie by Scott MacKenzie 2008]

Securing Children's Safety

"Security for the claims of harmonious existence is found only in divine Science. "
                                                              - Mary Baker Eddy

Our 17 year old daughter was somewhere in a plane high above the Atlantic ocean when it occurred to me that she would be landing in Sau Paulo airport early the next morning and would have a 10 hour layover in a city that I knew nothing about.   I was volunteering at a camp for teens in the Rocky Mountains.  My job was to help counselors and campers find spiritual strength, healing, guidance and peace, through prayer, each day as they headed out for activities that ranged from backpacking in mountains that towered 14,000 feet above sea level, to whitewater rafting on one of the most demanding rivers in the southwest. 

Even though my days were filled with inspiration and I felt deep-settled calm about each of our campers, and their concerns for personal safety and freedom from harm, I sat bolt upright in bed at 2 AM that morning when I realized that I could actually google "Sao Paulo airport" on my laptop and see what Hannah's options for boredom-alleviating activities and finding a secure place to rest were, until her connecting flight to Johannesburg South Africa boarded later that day. 

I hoped that she would call when she landed so that I could share my research with her and suggest some places that she might want to take a taxi from the airport to, and explore during the day. 

As I powered up my laptop and waited for the dial up modem to find a local connection in the rather remote area where camp rests at the base of a range of mountains in the Arkansas Valley, I was somewhat pleased with myself for thinking of this little project and how wonderful it was that I could be so informed about a place I had never even considered, until Hannah's flight was rerouted the day before from her scheduled  connection thorugh Dubai, Dubai to Sao Paulo, Brazil. 

I typed in "Sao Paulo airport" and the first hit took my breath away.  It was a news item from a major US city's daily newspaper that told of riots in the streets of Sao Paulo and the burning of buses and attacks on tourists.  I was paralyzed with fear.  I spent the next hour, not praying, but googling everything I could to find as much information about the situation as I could.   I then called the airlines, the Federal Aviation Administration's hotline, and a terrorism watchdog organization that I found online that told me that "yes, there is grave concern about airport security in Sao Paulo....in fact, travel through Sao Paulo was discouraged for the next few days until the unrest had been settled", another source reported.

Still I hadn't prayed.  Oh, I had pleaded with God to protect my little (five foot, eight inch) girl...but pray....take a mental stand based on spiritual laws that govern the universe and find my peace....not yet.  I still had another couple of hours of self-doubt and compassion-building "on my knees" parental agony to go through before I would be ready for that I guess. 

I continued to vacillate between "God is All" and "I need to be informed so that I can do something to fix this" thinking...yes, I know, I certainly had high regard for my global handyman (or woman) abilities....but I was desperate! Moms fix things...don't they? 

I emailed acquaintances (and even people I didn't know) in Sao Paulo begging them to go to the airport and sit with my daughter until her connecting flight took off.  I googled a map of the airport terminal and tried to plot out what would be the safest place for her to stay for ten hours out of harms way.  When I was exhausted and had exhausted every possible strategy for securing her well-being, I sat back in my chair and took a deep breath.  There on the screen of my computer was the portal to even more details (over 12, 000 hits listed) about Sao Paulo than I could have dreamed were possible to  obtain, and yet it had not given me one bit of information about my daughter's security.  I was still concerned, feeling unsettled, and my heart ached in a way I hadn't felt since she started kindergarten and I sat outside the door all morning waiting for her little blonde head appeared at lunchtime beaming with delight at her new adventures.

That was when I remembered who I was, why I was at camp, what I knew to be true about children's safety....whether on a raging river, a treacherous mountain peak, or in a rioting foreign city.   I turned to two sources of information I had forgotten for a few hours, even though they had always brought me peace of mind....the Bible and Mary Baker Eddy's Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures.  I had been using the ideas in these two books to help campers and counselors find freedom from fear for four weeks that summer and I knew in an instant that there would be an answer of peace for me there too.   I was not alone in the middle of the night, high in the mountains. far from help, and more importantly, neither was Hannah. I was up because I loved children...not just at camp or because they were "mine", but because it was my nature. And I was awake because this was the kid-related issue I needed to be praying about right at that moment. I wasn't praying because "my daughter" was in Sao Paulo, my daughter was in Sao Paulo because that was where my prayers for the safety and security of children was most needed at that moment. Hannah and I were part of a larger picture and we were both in God's care.  We were both secure in His omnipotent government of good, safe in his ever-aware omnipresent loving of us, and of all.  Every weary traveler, every frustrated heart lashing out in anger, every law enforcement official, every parent around the world was being held by His strong hand, nestled in Her loving arms and guided rightly by His clear, firm messages of direction, discipline, affection, and grace.

As I prayed with these thoughts such a deep and settled peace descended on my heart that I must have drifted off to sleep.  I was awakened before dawn to the phone ringing.  It was my daughter. She was just calling to say that she was in Sao Paulo airport, that it was boring and the food was way too expensive.  We talked for a few more minutes...me telling her I love her and to call when she arrived in Johannesburg (which she did later that night), her telling me she would. Then we hung up before the cost of the call was more than the food at the airport.   After I replaced the handset on the phone's base,  I noticed that my computer was still open and the screen was still showing the last page I had googled.

I chuckled to myself as I exited out of the search engine realizing that I had not shared any of the details of my middle of the night research,  or my concern, with my daughter.  We both had all the information that we needed and it was coming directly from the one true source of the security itself...God.  I quickly sent follow-up emails to the folks I had asked to go to the airport and sit with Hannah in Sao Paulo. I assured them that I had heard from her and that she was fine, thanking them for being patient with my anxious missives in the middle of the night.  I turned off my computer and tucked myself back into bed for the 20 or so minutes of rest that I could enjoy before I needed to be up for the camp staff inspirational gathering at daybreak.  I was at peace.  This would be a good day, we were all safe in His love....on mountaintop, in rivers, and in airports, schools, offices, homes, neighborhoods, and warzones....we would all be safe today.  


K