"I think of when I had none at all..."

"When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings..."

Sometimes I am stunned by God's love. This afternoon He led a dear friend to this post from Christmas, 2010...and she, in turn, wrote to say how much it meant to her...then, and now. So, I re-read it. And wept.

How could I have let this moment of grace fade from memory. For months I woke up each day "remembering" this example of abundant grace and using it as a springboard in my prayers about family, economy, employment, home...love. I am so grateful for my friend's email. I share this post again...with Love,

"When my bankroll is getting small..."

"When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings..."

I grew up singing this song to myself in the middle of the night during all the months between December and, well...December.  Long before home video and DVD copies of Irving Berlin's "White Christmas" were available for any-time-of-the-year viewing, my sister and I would check the television listings in the newspaper, from Thanksgiving weekend on, to find that one showing of White Christmas we could count on each year.  

For me, "Count Your Blessings" was always a prelude to prayer.

Today this song came alive in a pretty well-worn McDonald's restaurant overlooking the Mississippi River. 

My husband and I had driven through the city on a post-Christmas errand, and were both thirsty.  There was a McDonald's.  Perfect.  Since the drive-thru lane was already a dozen cars deep, I suggested we park and go in, thinking we'd have a much better chance of getting back on the road quickly. 

I was wrong.  The line at the counter was eight deep with quite a few folks waiting for their orders to be filled.  It wasn't hard to notice that more than a few customers were in pretty dire financial straits.  Pennies were being carefully counted out, old sweaters/shirts/jackets were layered on six deep, and one man had duct tape wrapped over pairs of doubled-up socks for footwear. 

We placed our order and I went to the drink dispenser while my husband waited for his hot chocolate to be prepared. 

As I stood there, I noticed a young family sitting at the end booth very close to where I was waiting in line to get my drink.  The dad was very, very tired looking and the children--a boy around 10 years old, and a girl about 6 or 7--looked as if they'd been sleeping in their clothes, coats, and hats for days.  But there was also a palpable dignity with which this young father cared for his children.  He reminded them to use their napkins, to say Please and Thank You when passing the small cups of ketchup he'd gotten for them, and to excuse themselves when getting up for more salt.

It wasn't long before the dad himself got up to use the facilities, asking his son to be very watchful of his little sister.  He hadn't been gone long before the little girl asked her brother, "When do you think we will get our Christmas presents?"  Her brother looked quickly in the direction his father had gone, and then said, "This is our Christmas present.  It is all they can afford this year."  "Oh...," said his little sister. 

I looked at their table.  Each child had a simple cheeseburger, a small order of fries, and a milkshake.  Dad had a cup of coffee. 

I was standing there on the verge of weeping when suddenly their father slid back into the booth.  His daughter got up from where she'd been sitting next to her brother, and scooched in next to her dad.  She wrapped both her little arms around his arm, and laid her head against his shoulder and said, "Daddy, this is the best lunch I have ever tasted.  Thank you for bringing us here.  I love you."

I could barely take it all in.  There was such gratitude and grace radiating from that table.  Dad leaned down and kissed the top of his daughter's head, and then he reached across the table with his free hand to cover his son's cold-chapped hand with his larger one. 

I walked away sobered, inspired, shaken, and deeply moved. 

Talk about counting your blessings instead of sheep.  I refilled my drink, returned to where my husband was standing, and leaned into his chest, trying to still the waves of emotion that were on the verge of taking me under.

I wasn't sure if I was more devastated by sadness, or moved with inspiration.  I had learned more about grace in that moment of humility, than from all the Christmas "moments" I had witnessed, read about, or watched during the last few weeks leading up to the "big day."

This year Christmas came in the warm manger of a McDonald's booth, with the light in a child's eyes, the gentle wisdom of a brother's words, and the humility of a father's gift.

I thought about giving them something...money, a gift card...but I realized that this time I needed to be a graceful recipient of their greater gift to me.  

I needed to "receive it, still."  Receive their gift in the stillness of a manger heart.  I needed to honor the dignity of their lives by walking away in silent awe.  My gift to them is a heart filled with prayer, gratitude, and an aching hope that they neither lose the richness of who they are, nor the sweetness of what they gave to me today.

I have no doubt that God will bless their lives with all that they need. Just look at what He gave me today in their example. It was more than I could ever have hoped.

Thank you for Your unspeakable gifts...
Kate

"...while Christ is rich, can I be poor..."

"...He that has made my heaven secure,
Will here all good provide;
While Christ is rich, can I be poor?
What can I want beside?
O God, I cast my care on Thee;
I triumph and adore;
Henceforth my great concern shall be
To love and praise Thee more..."
-     John Ryland

Over the last few months, these words from a much-loved hymn, have come to me often while praying for spiritual solutions in the wake of this economic crisis. And not only this hymn. I have found many of the inspirational songs in the Christian Science Hymnal to be trustworthy spiritual companions as I pray. 

This is far from new. Over the years, I have often heard the words to a hymn when listening for God-based answers. But lately this very clear focus on hymns has been startling and pointed.  A line, a verse or an entire hymn -  one after another - has sung it's way into my prayers. 

Case in point, while praying in support of a non-profit organization facing budget-related concerns, the above hymn floated through the air so softly that it was as if my Father-Mother God was singing a lullaby near my ear.

Why so many hymns, I wondered...why hymns almost exclusively?  I picked up my  old, soft, leather-bound copy of the hymnal and started turning the well-worn pages.   And there it was...copyright 1932. It was suddenly so clear to me that there was a direction relationship between the relevance of these messages of hope and encouragement to our times, and the historic context of their roots.  

This most recent publication of the Christian Science Hymnal had been completely revised, and republished, in 1932.  Old favorites had been adapted, words had been revised, lyrics had been set to more modern tunes, completely new hymns had been written - and collaborated on - by spiritual thinkers who were poets, musicians...and healers.  Contributions that were born of their experiences. Their choices of what to include - from the works of earlier songwriters and composers - in this 1932 revision, was also the result of humble prayer. Editors prayed for guidance in choosing texts and music that would inspire, comfort, and heal.   These were the songs (and song selections) of depression-era psalmists.  Men and women who had lived and prayed through a stock market crash, black Tuesday, the great depression, the dust bowl, food lines, and "Brother can you spare a dime..."

The 1932 Christian Science Hymnal came alive for me in new ways. As a practitioner of spiritual law, these hymns were a welcome addition to my law library--a much loved and poured over collection of testimonies that includes the Bible with its accounts of spiritual law exercised and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures and its chapter "Fruitage" filled with personal letters testifying to the healing power of prayer--precendent setting cases to stand on in confidently trusting God's care during a crisis of any kind...depression, recession, inflation. Each hymn was proof that someone had faced fear, despair, uncertainty, want, or woe, and had not only surmounted their troubles, but had been inspired to leave a trail of hope for generations yet unborn.

My husband, our friends...Susan, Sue, and Carey (The Solo Committee), my children's dad, and other poets/musicians we are blessed to know, are writing new hymns and inspirational songs through these trying times.  Their psalms of hope and praise are comforting and inspiring us today and will become a legacy of faith for our children...and our children's children.  A supplement to the 1932 has been published and is making some of these new songs available to us as we pray for fresh spiritual solutions. 

Knowing the historic context of these hymns, songs that had been coming to my heart in prayer over the last few months...with such divine imperative...has been a gift of grace.

As you pray for yourself, your family, your neighbors, your community's employers and employees, those with jobs...and those who are looking for work to support their families...perhaps these hymns...or the hymns from your own church's hymnal, will give you comfort and inspiration...a gift of promise from a generation of spiritual thinkers who have blazed a trail for each of us leaving waymarks of encouragement along the way.

This hymn, #224, has always been very special to me...I hope it brings you peace tonight...

O Lord, I would delight in Thee,
And on Thy care depend;
To Thee in every trouble flee,
My best, my ever Friend
When all material streams are dried,
Thy fullness is the same;
May I with this be satisfied,
And glory in Thy name.

All good, where'er it may be found,
Its source doth find in Thee;
I must have all things and abound,
While God is God to me.
O that I had a stronger faith,
To look within the veil,
To credit what my Saviour saith,
Whose word can never fail.

He that has made my heaven secure,
Will here all good provide;
While Christ is rich, can I be poor?
What can I want beside?
O God, I cast my care on Thee;
I triumph and adore;
Henceforth my great concern shall be
To love and praise Thee more...

with Love...
Kate