"wanting to belong..."

"as the ruby
in the setting,
as the fruit
upon the tree;

so are you to me..”

Some habits fade slowly. Feeling the first stirrings of a post, seems, more often than not, to come with a song. It was EastMountainSouth's  "So are You to Me"  that underscored those first stirrings this morning.

Here is my confession. I want to belong. I have always wanted to belong. Yes, I have often shrugged off the importance of clubs and sororities, teams and groups, but not because I really think they are unimportant - but because I always felt like I was on the outside looking in.

This morning I watched four groups of girls welcome new members as into their world as initiates. It was heartbreakingly beautiful to watch the faces of girls - who had felt outside of an inner circle - suddenly feel welcomed in. One after the other they waited - until their name was called and their team was announced. Then, cheering, hugging, smiling. I cried. Yup, walked outside and bawled like a baby.

I wanted my name to be called. I wanted to have a forever family, a team affiliation that would follow me for the rest of my life. I wanted my children and grandchildren to feel the legacy of place.

Last night, I was talking to a dear friend who had missed the opportunity to be on one of these teams. And even though she knows that this does not define her sense of place, she also told me that some of her friends had shared with her that they just knew, that if she had been on a team, it would have been on "this" particular team. [She has given me permission to share this.] I could see that this meant something very special to her. But I understand.  I feel the same way today. When a young relative received her team "assignment" this morning, I wanted to say, "can I be one too?" So this morning, I secretly chose to join her team -- for life.

I don't know that I have anything profoundly spiritual to say about this. I am still listening for inspiration and peace. But I know this, I want to belong.  I think we all want to feel a sense of belonging.  I want to know that there is a place where when I return, they will take me in and love me. I want to know that I don't have to show up perfect to be welcomed in.  I just am.

And perhaps this is the small seed of spiritual inspiration that I can bring to this moment. When I turn within, when I enter the sanctuary of prayer, I am always welcome. God never makes me feel like I don't belong here.

This morning as I walked away from that ceremony, I could barely speak. My throat was tight, and my chest burned with unspent tears. Self-knowledge is a powerful catalyst for growth in humility. I had to face the fact that I, too, so wanted to be on a team. And this is something I don't think I could ever have admitted to myself before this morning.

So, where is this going. I have no idea. But I have a better sense of myself and the girl who I was. The girl who never belonged to anything and wanted it more than she could bear to say. Owning my name, owning my heart, owning my words, owning my mistakes, owning my feelings, owning my place in the world, owning my deep need to belong -- that seems to be the theme of this summer.

In the meantime, thank you to all the people and places who are helping me see the beauty of the things I have not always allowed myself to feel. I am so deeply grateful.

I wonder if this desire to belong to something bigger than ourselves, is one of our first natural steps out of being defined by a personal, limited sense of self. To have a sense of belonging to a more inclusive sense  of:  "I am..." Perhaps it is why Jesus' Lords Prayer reads:

"Our Father which art in heaven;

give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts
as we forgive our debtors;

and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil...”

Could this have something to do with the success and popularity of the Harry Potter book series.  Does it hint at an innate desire for belonging -- Slytherin, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw.  Did this series speak to children who were simply hungry for the promise of belonging?  

Just some thoughts to ponder and feelings to examine in the light of Spirit.

offered with Love,

Cate

"everyone knows God..."

"Yes, I'm thankful for
the Lord above,
the gift of His unending love,
the promise kept
that there is so much more.

These are the things
I'm thankful for..."

Dillon Cate's cover of Garth Brooks' and Trisha Yearwood's Thanksgiving anthem,"What I'm Thankful For,"* was my husband's solo offering at our church service yesterday -- and it took my breath away with its simple beauty.

Because I knew the love, devotion and humility Jeff brought to sharing that gift with the congregation -- for me, it was less a performance, and more - a prayer.

Our service is a simple one that concludes with time for sharing testimonies of healing by those who are gathered in worship. We'd brought a friend who was unfamiliar with this Thanksgiving tradition, and I have to admit I was listening to everything that was shared at the service, through the lens of his heart. What was he hearing? Would it make sense, resonate, inspire?

Most of the remarks were thoughtfully shared and filled with reverence and thanks. But there was one testimony that brought me to tears. It leveled the playing field. We were no longer a congregation of church members and visitors, we were all one - in the thing most essential.

My friend, Linda Clarke, rose and began her testimony by saying that, although others in the congregation had shared how many generations of family members had practiced our faith, she was a first generation Christian Scientist. In one sentence she had swept away all sense of religious heredity, hierarchy of faith, or any distancing one might feel from the direct and immediate relationship to divine Love -- that is inherent in each of us, and unites us all.

Then she went on to share an experience she'd had at a recent Bible Workshop she'd hosted as the Adult Program Director at the Adventure Unlimited Ranches. She said that in the opening session, Bible scholar, Kristy Christian, had said:

"everyone knows God.
I want you to think about this..."  

It was so simple, and so profound.  Yes! Because everyone knows love -- and God is Love -- everyone knows God.  Because everyone experiences Life -- and God is the Source of all being -- everyone experiences God. It was an accessible truth.  One that unites us all. 

Later, when interviewing Linda for this post, she said, "I always try to look at people as the image and likeness of God -- in perfection. But this was different, to see a homeless person, or someone I might not agree with, or even someone who has done something I can't support, as really "knowing God," -- able to hear His angel messages -- this has given me a lot to think about. It has made such a difference for me."

The deep love for others, that resonated through her remarks, was like the "cup of cold water," that Mary Baker Eddy speaks of "millions of unprejudiced minds," waiting and watching for. I couldn't imagine anyone - in that overflowing Thanksgiving Day gathering of friends, family, and guests - who wouldn't feel loved, honored, and included through this view of themselves and others - as knowing God.

In her remarks, Linda went on to share how trusting in this fundamental fact -- that everyone knows God -- frees us to love unconditionally.

Linda's testimony was the perfect message for each of us --from the "third, forth, or fifth generation" Christian Scientist, to our unprejudiced young guest. It lifted any sense of exclusivity -- a secret handshake or password-protected entry into the kingdom of God. It affirmed that this kingdom is within each of us.  That it is accessible, and has one Sovereign -- omnipotent and omnipresent Love -- who as Mary Baker Eddy assures us in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures is:

"impartial and universal
in its adaptation and bestowals."  

What a gift to us all. This, for me, was the message of messages.  It is the basis for true individual, familial, local, national, and global peace. Everyone knows God. When we trust this Truth -- we can live fully, share generously, and love freely.    


This message of God's inclusive love is something I am deeply grateful for -- thank you Linda.

offered with Love,

Kate


*If you would like to hear Garth Brooks', Trisha Yearwood, James Taylor and Kim Taylor's performance of,"What I'm Thankful For," here is that link.