Monday, September 10, 2012

"In a crowd, or by myself...."

“I can be in a crowd
or by myself
or almost anywhere...
When I close my eyes,
no darkness there
there's only Love, and
I get on my knees ...”

Jaci Velasquez's "On my Knees"reminds me that I can never be too alone...or too overwhelmed by chaos, cynicism, or drop to my knees (mentally or physically) in prayer. 

Nothing, and noone, can stop me from...stopping. From saying "no" to the clamor of urgency, "not yet" to the demand for an answer, or "I'm praying" to the impatience that thrives in the dark places of fear.

How often do we go to God "on the fly," thinking that we don't have time to just stop, and surrender our human sense of importance to the choreography of divine grace? To allow the space for being moved towards a solution by Love, rather than away from a problem out of fear.

In his acceptance speech for the nomination of his party -- as their candidate for a second term as President of the United Sates at the Democratic National Convention -- President Barack Obama quoted President Abraham Lincoln:

"I have been driven to my knees many times 
by the overwhelming conviction 
that I had no place else to go."

For me, this is not such a bad place to be. It's sometimes a blessing to find myself at the very end of all my well-intentioned -- and ofttimes desperate -- human thought-taking, and urgent grasping. To be standing at the edge of my self-importance, and to know that the only way out, is down on my knees.

And yet, how often do we measure someone's spiritual acumen by the perceived level of demonstrated "harmony" in their lives. It's a measuring stick dipped by the blind, into the murky depths a distorted glass beaker. How do any of us everreally know what another is facing in "the dark night of the soul."

President, pauper, or pilot, cowboy or CEO, the unemployed, the retiree, or the college freshman...we all live on the edge of our next great need for spiritual comfort, direction, healing, peace. And I don't know about anyone else, but if I am honest, I have to say that I spend most of that time, "on my knees." And I've learned that, to judge another's path by what we see on the outside, is like judging an athlete's strength and flexibility by the color and cost of their workout wear.

So, what can I do when I find myself in a dark moment of despair, or when I see my brother (or sister) in Christ facing a crisis of health, economy or faith? I can join them "on my knees." I can humbly can surrender my doing, for His stillness of Being. For the constancy of His care, the never-the-lessness of His peace, the insistence of His love...impartially and universally. Falling into the Truth of His presence, and trusting in His power, is the deepest and most satisfying rest I've ever known. And resting on my knees, in His presence, often gives me a spiritual perspective that is completely different than the one that sent me there.

There is never a situation so urgent, a question so important, or a decision so critical that we can't take a moment, and drop to our knees in prayer. Never. In his "dark night of the soul," our Master did just that. And his plea to his divine Parent: 

"Abba, Father, 
all things are possible unto thee; 
take away this cup from me..."

became, in the breath of a moment:

"...nevertheless not what I will, 
but what Thou wilt."

I love that word, "nevertheless." It is synonymous with the word "still." As in, "I will still be here." To be "still," is to be like Him in a profound way, to be "nevertheless." To be constant in our trust, unshakable in our clear conviction that we can alwaysstop, and pray. Or, as Mary Baker Eddy urges:

"Beholding the infinite tasks of truth, 
we pause, — wait on God. 
Then we push onward, 
until boundless thought walks enraptured, 
and conception unconfined 
is winged to reach the divine glory."

What a perfect thing to do, from the summit of one's knees...

with Love,


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