Monday, April 2, 2012

"what if your healing comes through tears..."

"Cause what if your blessings
come through raindrops?
What if your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights,
are what it takes to know You're near?"

As I was sorting through some bits of notebook paper, newsprint, old greeting cards, and calendar pages in my quote collection this morning, I came upon this tiny gem. Someone had shared it with me along the way:

"A bad day for your ego,
is a great day for your soul."

I didn't need the reminder of that little piece of folded paper. It's a message I've had tattooed on my heart for the last few years. It's saved me from heartache, anger, resentment, and despair over and over again.

And yes, for the sake of clarification, I know that I don't have a personal "soul." Soul is another name for God. So, when I read the word in the context of this quote, I am thinking about the heart, the kingdom of heaven within, the consciousness of good, a God-based inner life.

Therefore, when my sense of being is defined by a "me" ego...that is separate from the impartial and universal good of collective humanity, then any situation I face that isn't sweet with personal success, promise, or a bad day for my ego. But when I am looking at myself from the standpoint of being just one molecule in the body of Christ, every opportunity to humbly fall on my knees in service to the whole, is a gift of grace.

What "the world" looks like from the lowly posture of humble service, is a world filled with higher, inspired, enlightened, exalted beings. When I stop looking at myself through the lens of otherness (a lens that invites comparison), or in the context of another's accomplishments (vs. my failures) all I can see is the good that is being experienced by God's blessed creation. What to me might look like a flat tire...a failure to have been more aware before getting on the road, to my neighbor might appear as an opportunity to be a good samaritan, to be at the height of his/her neighborly best. Only my ego, a separate, personal sense of being, would prevent me from seeing the presence of God's gifts in that moment.

Isn't this the Easter message? Isn't this the supreme gift of grace from a man who surrendered a personal sense of his life story with all it's drama: betrayal, crucifixion, and order to show us the power of Love, and its capacity to heal, transform, and resurrect the heart's hope for salvation and purpose.

So, as I think considered all the ways the ego might try to undermine my ability to see the face of God, right in front of me, at all times, today...and everyday, this post from last year came to mind. Laura Story's message of surrender to grace is one I can never get enough of. A link to her own "telling" of it is at the end of this post. I hope you enjoy its resharing:

What if your blessings come through raindrops..."

My friend, Lauri, told me about this beautiful Laura Story song, "
Blessings"  yesterday afternoon.  She said that it had been shared as part of her church's worship service on Sunday.  She thought that it might resonate with me.  Might?  Oh my goodness, it resonates with me very much so, that I am almost rendered speechless. 

I'd already prepared a post for today when...after picking up the girls from soccer, getting dinner, baths, laundry, and then returning office calls...I was able to search out this song on Youtube.  From the minute I heard the first verse, that other post was put on the back burner until Thursday's sharing.   Unless something else crosses my path in the meantime...

If you have ever felt like you've prayed all night for answers, and all you've heard were more questions;  if you've slept on your knees and woke, not comforted, but with a despairing hunger that kept you there all the next day;  if your heart has shattered, and in the shards you've discovered tear-honed treasures of sea glass -- more precious than diamonds...then this song may touch you as deeply as it has reach itself into my soul tonight.  

One of my favorite statements, by Mary Baker Eddy, washesd through me, as I listened to it's powerful message:

"The very circumstance
which your suffering sense
deems wrathful and afflictive,
Love can make an angel
entertained unawares. 
Then thought gently whispers,
"Come hither..."

Love is calling us, and it is calling us closer to that very circumstance which a suffering sense...of life and being...would deem wrathful and afflictive.   Sometimes this is all I need, to stay on my knees as long as it takes, to actually feel Love's presence...right there....right there in that moment, in that place.  Because, right my home.

I have typed out Laura's lyrics below...they were my prayer last night, they
are my prayer today. 

Thank you Father for your blessings...especially the ones that come through raindrops and tears...

"We pray for blessings.
We pray for peace.
Comfort for family,
protection while we sleep.
We pray for healing,
for prosperity.
We pray for Your mighty hand,
to ease our suffering.

All the while,
You hear each spoken need.
Yet love is way too much,
to give us lesser things.

'Cause what if your blessings
come through raindrops?
What if Your healing
comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this life,
are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom,
Your voice to hear.
We cry in anger,
when we cannot feel You near.

We doubt your goodness.
We doubt your love.
As if every promise,
from Your Word is not enough.

All the while,
You hear each desperate plea,
and long that we'd have faith to believe.

'Cause what if your blessings
come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights,
are what it takes to know You're near?

When friends betray us.
When darkness seems to win.
We know that pain reminds this heart,
that this is not, this is not our home.
It's not our home....

'Cause what if your blessings
come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if my greatest disappointments,
or the aching of this life,
Is the revealing of
a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?
What if trials of this life...
the rain, the storms, the hardest nights...
are your mercies in disguise?"

This message embraces the sweetness of a salvation-based spiritual that weeps with Christ in Gethsemane, stands with him...braced by love...for the kiss, walks with him through jeering crowds, watches with his mother at the cross, and rises early...wrapped in the fragrance of sweet find the promise in a tomb. For me, this is a song of Easter...of deathless hope, and resurrected joy. Not in spite of our trials, but within the folds of the burial discover the perfume of Life.

Here is a
video clip of Laura Story explaining the impetus for her journey in writing  this song...blessings to you and yours.    Thanks Lauri, for sharing this song with were right, I love it...

with Love,

Kate Robertson, CS


  1. Anonymous7:36 AM

    thanks! I realized I had lied to someone yesterday because I was more worried about decifering what I thought they wanted to hear and being in sync with it than in just telling them straight out what my view was. I realized after many years of studying CS I am still scared by this kind of situation. I felt like I am still the 6 year old being used as a message bearer between older kids and frightened to death that I would be 'shot' if they didn't like the message or if I returned with an unacceptible answer. Without pausing to question my methods I replyed to my new friend according to what I thought they wanted to hear. Later in the conversation I realized they did not think the way I had predicted. And I realized the motive I had accepted without hesitation. It stunned me to see that I had done this without thinking twice, without admitting to myself that I was doing it. Thank you for your message. I planned on talking to my friend today and telling them what I did. What you have shared is the perfect support for me.

  2. Anonymous7:57 PM

    Thank you for this... It was a helpful reminder that our mistakes and seeming failures might just be God's, "mercies in disguise..." Just knowing that we can find God and hear His angels in these moments gives me hope tonight.