"Turn around...turn around..."

"Where are you going my little one, little one
Where are you going my baby my own
Turn around and you're two,
Turn around and you're four
Turn around and you're a young girl
Going out of my door..."

Sniff...sniff, sigh….oh my gosh... it is way too soon…

Today is the first day of school…again.  It is happening far too fast these days. I want to slow down the calendar, the clock, the seasons…whatever it takes to hold them right here...at ten.  I like ten.  Ten was my favorite age to be, to teach, and to dream out from.  I love the kinds of conversations the girls and I can have right now.  I love that we can talk about feelings, choices, abstract concepts…like appreciation and affection…and love.

I love that all conversations about boys include a facial expression somewhat akin to how they look when they eat plain yogurt with wheat germ…a silent, "not too disgusting, but certainly not my choice unless I would starve without it in the wilderness…"  The other kinds of conversations about boys will come later...but for now these "looks" are perfect.  Tolerant...but not giggly.

I love that they took responsibility for their own reading lists this summer and that they know more about how to re-configure a network connection on my computer, than I do.  I love that they still call me their favorite "snugglebuddy" at bedtime (including the snuggling) and yet are able to make their own PB&J sandwich for lunch.

I love everything about being their mom…except how quickly it is all going. 

But I know...don't I...that progress is a law of God…and I love every law of God…so in reality I must realize my love for their progress…even if it makes them taller than me in the next few months. 

And progress, being a law of God includes innocence, purity, grace and childlike wonder.  I must remember...no adults of God – just children.  But, oh my goodness...as Paul Simon sings,

"These are the days of miracles and wonders"

I think the "miracle" is just that we get to do it…this extraordinary thing called life and motherhood and fatherhood and sharing space with eachother in this moment of eternity.  And the wonder…oh my goodness, the wonder is in every second, every moment that I feel God's mercy in giving me "a second chance"…a billion times a day…to do it better…to be more childlike (myself…through their example), to be more patient (with myself as I rush blindly around trying to keep everything "on task") to be more filled with…yes, wonder.

So…as we drove into school this morning and Emma read the first part of our Bible study readings aloud to Clara and I in the car (like I said it's happening way too fast) I couldn't help but think that, like Simeon who was recorded in the Chapter of Luke as having "waited for the consolation of Israel", we too can see progress as innocence, as a childlike purity, an infant hope…in ourselves and others…no matter how many first days of school we have experienced….as students, parents, teachers, administrators, counselors, lawmakers.

The sun has already taken on that golden light of "back to school"…I don't know what this year holds for each of us…but I know it will be good…progress is a law of God.  I'm counting on it.  I'm counting on it to keep us all filled with the wonder of being ten…or seventeen, or thirty-two, or fifty-three.  Counting on it...as we walk out the door in brand  new shoes and with freshly sharpened pencils, 200 sheets of lined notebook paper and a clean three-ring binder under our arms ready to innocently (and expectantly) greet the Christ-child being born in our world each day…in the classroom, on the floor of the Senate, in a shelter in Baghdad, or as we sit at a traffic light during rush hour.

"…Turn around (turn around)
Turn around (turn around)
Turn around and you're a young girl
Going out of the door…"
- Harry Bellafonte

have a great day...and be sure to eat all your lunch,
Kate