"Hello darkness my old friend
I've come to talk with you again.
Because a vision softly creeping,
left its seeds while I was sleeping..."
I guess it's time to revisit this...again...
I think the first verse of Simon & Garfinkel's "Sounds of Silence," says it all for me today.
Mother Teresa once wrote:
"We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls. "
Whether this is an absolute Truth, or just true for her...I don't really know. But I do know, that something about it calls to me. It is an invitation, an urging, an inner imperative that I can't ignore. It feels like a living, pulsing something asking for space in my life. I glimpsed its promise last summer, when...quite serendipitously...I had time to just sit with myself.
And what did I do with it?
Well, I ended up finding that I couldn't seem to silence the "self" that always wants to record everything in my journal, And once I've recorded it, I try to immediately make sense of what I've "heard" in that silence, and then begin searching for just the right words to make it "make sense" for others.
But, something is always "lost in translation." And, besides which, I seem to lose the true chord of the message, each time I tried to give it a name, a form, or put its living, breathing substance into the symbology of words.
And yet, I keep coming back to something I have long-loved, but haven't always let move in, unpack, and take up real residency in my own hungry heart. It's a statement from Mary Baker Eddy's Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures:
"The infinite Truth of the Christ-cure has come to this age through a "still, small voice," through silent utterances and divine annointing which quicken and increase the beneficial effects of Christianity. I long to see the consummation of my hope, namely, the student's higher attainments in this line of light."
I want to understand this...more than I can say.
There is a seed of something growing in my heart...I don't know what its voice will sound like...or if it will even have a voice that reaches beyond the silence. But I want to sit with it, and let it take whatever shape God wants it to take. I don't know if its song will have lyrics...but I know I have to listen.
This time, I dare not...
"...disturb the sound of silence...."