"You are the Sun, shining down on everyone.
Light of the world, giving light to everything I see.
Beauty so brilliant, I can hardly take it in...
and everywhere You are is warmth and light.
And I am the moon with no light of my own.
Still You have made me to shine.
And as I glow in this cold dark night,
I know I can't be a light,
unless I turn my face to You..."
You probably thought I'd exhausted my Sara Groves' store of song favorites...not even close. "You are the Sun," from her Add to the Beauty CD is a great song for dancing into spiritual realignment.
Tonight, I've been thinking about "my story"...or in my case, "my stories." And after a few days in which my theme has been, as Mary Baker Eddy suggests, to:
and learn what is the affection and purpose of the heart,
for in this way only can you learn what you honestly are."
I feel sobered by what I have learned. And, about how easy it has been for me to let my focus stray from writing His story, to writing all about me. "Kate, Kate, Kate..." My life, my thoughts, my hurts, my dreams. When I think about it, it all starts to sound like the teacher on the Charlie Brown specials, "blah-blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah..."
I am shocked at how often I have, unwittingly, cast myself as the main character in so many stories. Sometimes the victim, and other times the villain, then, occasionally, the hero lurking in between the lines, but I can't deny that I have been front and center...way too often. Silly, silly Kate. Tsk, tsk, tsk.... What the heck is she doing there as the center of her own universe? Hmmm. Oh well, that's what egos do. Thank goodness we aren't our egos!!
So if we aren't supposed to be the main character in our stories, what role should we, could we, would we play if we put God front and center as the one, and only, "Person" our story revolves around?
And so now, after a good long walk in the wilderness with myself, I have some clarity. And the more I think about it, the roles I would like to see myself cast in -- more consistently -- from here on out, are as: the audience, the observer, the witness, the narrator...bit players, extras. I may end up on the stage, now and again, with a few lines...and an occasional pratfall...but I pledge to let God be the only Star taking the bow at the end of the story.
This is the affection and purpose of my heart. Toso dissolve the ego (especially mine!) that God, and only God, is revealed as the main character, the All, in-all of us. His is the story of the kingdom of heaven within our hearts. And when God is at the center, the core, of our lives...the story is always His. And our lines are simple, "Thy will be done."
He is the Sun...everything in my world revolves around Him.
Kate Robertson, CS
[photo credit: Nathaniel Wilder 2010]