"I will lift my eyes to You..."

"Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in...

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
of the mountains I can't climb.
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
of the hurt I hold inside.
I will lift my eyes,
lift my eyes to You..."

As I sat in the dentist's chair, these words from "I Will Lift My Eyes," actually did allow me to lift my eyes, and my entire being, above the sounds and sensations that seemed to be screaming, not just at, or around, me...but right inside my head.   Yet, instead of thinking about past dental traumas, I thought about Him.  The One who made me perfect, peaceful, and at rest in His love.  It was my Father's tenderness that held me aloft.

I thought about His love for each of us, and how deeply His sweet voice plumbs, and penetrates, the noise of our day with an unspeakable peace.  A peace that passeth all understanding. 

As I sat there, I realized that I really didn't need to know what the dentist was doing, what she was finding, or when she would be done.  I could trust that she was wisely and lovingly being guided by a divine Hand, in the execution of her craft. While I only needed to listen to my Father's gentle message of "I am with you." As His voice of spiritual reason...all the reasons why I had nothing to fear...calmed my concerns, I discovered that His voice, whispering, "peace, be still," was louder than the hum and whirr of any dental instruments, pulsing stream of water, or high-speed drill. 

With the help of my husband's gentle encouragement,  I was able to actually sit through what had, up to that point, been one of my greatest fears with soft, unclenched hands, and relaxed feet.  No tensely curled toes, no tightly gripped armrests, no holding my breath till I was ready to gasp for air.  I even laughed....just a bit.

At one point an angel whispered, "If God be with me, this dental chair is become a soft bed with cool cotton sheets, and the hum of the drill has become the soft murmur of a "river of His pleasures."  And the rest, just shifting clouds.....

Here is the poem that flowed from that river of His presence:  

Sometimes
I spin a cocoon
of soft soft sheets
and worn
quilts

I wrap myself in
silence
and the white
sounds of
my breathing

in
and
out...

in
and out...

my breath
becomes one with Yours..

in and out,
in and out...

we softly sing...

I let the rhythm
of Your speech
patterns
slow the
pace of my
thinking

Be still
BE still
be STILL
be
still

b
e

s
t
i
l
l

I am
suspended in
the
space of
trusting
You to
do all
the talking,
whispering,
singing,
humming,
breathing...

I have finally given
up my words,
given up my
answers,
and
surrendered
to the sweet sounds of
your silence

I am being
prayed
by
You

I am
nothing
but
what I
see You
do

I am
that
I AM
that
You
are....

only You
in this
space
not even
the
me I thought
I was.

only You...

It's only ever
been
You
within
each moment...

In the silence
I am
reduced
to
the essence
of being

I am
only
You.

in
and
out...

in
and
out....

in
and
out...

It was a very special day for my Dad and me.  My divine Father sat with me, held my heart, softly whispered His love for me, and let me know that I was "cared for, watched over, beloved, and protected" in His arms...and in my husband's silent prayers of support.  And with them, a dentist's chair became a place of peace...

Or as Mary Baker Eddy promises us:

"The very circumstance,
which your suffering sense deems wrathful and afflictive,
Love can make an angel entertained unawares."

I love the way she so beautifully paints with words, the landscape of Spirit...

always,

Kate
Kate Robertson, CS