"...Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
To your heart..."
- Peter Townsend
It echoed through the silence. "Let my love open the door, let my love open the door, let my love open the door...to your heart..." Enter power chords.
Silence is like that for me these days. Filled with messages. I have to trust that they are messages from God, Mind...or I am going bonkers. Either way it's compelling and comforting. Like I said...either God or bonkers.
I choose God.
Yesterday was all about choosing....and not choosing. Mostly about choosing to not choose.
I was sitting on the patio of Leonard Gallery in the 90 degree heat of an early summer day, high on the bluffs above the lazy waters of the wide Mississippi River. I had my toes in the wall fountain and I was just listening for my Father's voice.
The thoughts that came were clear and pointed...arresting and arousing the lethargy of a hot summer's day.
It started with a question. It always does. I think this is why the beatitude says, "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst..." It's the questioning that most assures me of God's presence, as love, in my heart. It tells me in no uncertain terms that He wants me to leap out of complacency into the life-quenching cup of cold water that is His refreshing and invigorating Truth.
So, His question in my heart was, "How do I live on purpose without everything becoming all about outcomes...successes and failures that are really ego-driven mortal measurements. If life is all about the journey of discovery, what then does it mean to live on purpose? How, and more importantly - why, should I show up in my life with a clear sense of purpose...if my purpose is to live free of outcomes and in discovery?" Hmmm...
The answer started as a question. "What is My purpose?" Don't you just love this God of ours!
And the answer to that question popped into my heart so quickly it shook the ground beneath my feet. "I AM that I AM...is my purpose."
I sat with that simple statement of divine purpose for only moments before God began explaining Herself. "I am what I am. That is enough for me...and it should be enough for you. I am Love, what more could you ever want me to be? I have no choice in this matter. I cannot choose to be the absence of myself. I cannot choose to be less loving...merciful, unconditional, impartial...than being the All-loving requires by its very nature and character. If I could choose to be less than myself, why would you long for me, seek my face, ache for my presence in your life."
God went through every one of Her names...Mind, Life, Truth, Principle, Soul, Spirit..in just this way. Less than all Truth...just a measure of Mind....a dash of Principle???
Then as I sat there, everything around me continued the lesson, I watched the water flowing down from the top of the fountain, running through my toes and pooling in the base of the fountain waiting to be recycled over and over again.
That water doesn't choose to be refreshing...or nourishing, thirst-quenching, cleansing, purifying, oxidizing, power-generating, sanctifying, or beautiful. It only shows up as a water molecule that unites with other water molecules and gains weight and form, interacts with the laws of gravity, unites in purpose with the surface it rests upon, comes in contact with my toes...and voila, refreshing, cooling, beautiful dancing-in-the-sunlight water.
It has no sense of good or bad outcomes. It trusts the one who sent it along its way...on a journey of self-discovery...to plan the next adventure. Had it been sent through a hose it might have discovered something very different about itself as force (under pressure), nourishment (to the grass), beauty (as dancers rushing and twirling through the air).
But the water molecule never had a choice...why would she want one. Wasn't being H2O just the most perfect thing for a water molecule to be!!
The world is constantly telling us that we can make choices that result in mistakes and missteps that lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities. But that's only if we think we have a mind separate from God, and that our purpose is to control this errant mind.
I'm just not buying it.
I think I am going to practice living like the water...and trust the one who made me to hold me in His hand and spill me onto a sun-scorched earth, sprinkle me on a baby's forehead, quench the thirst of a parched traveler, or pool me, in fellowship with others, within a carved-out stone...petros.. for the weary wanderer to wash his feet in.
Time for more silence...I think I will let Your love open the door to my heart...no one sings this song like Pete Townsend...enjoy,
Kate Robertson, CS