"Now are ye light in the Lord.."

[photo credit: Margaret Mead carrying Manus child
R. Fortune photographer]

"The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where,
Who knows when
But I'm strong,
Strong enough to carry him.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

And if I'm laden at all,
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another.

It's a long, long road
From which there is no return.
While we're on the way to there,
Why not share?
And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother…"
-Scott/Russell

Yesterday I woke up, prayed, took a few phone calls, got the twins up for school - then out the door, and ate my bowl of GrapeNuts and a banana before heading into the office.  There I turned on the lamps, woke up the computer and opened my Bible and Science and Health eager to begin what are precious hours for me each day.  After checking emails I turned to the desk behind me ready to really dig in on some in-depth spiritual study and prayer.  As I reached for my favorite pen to make notes, I felt a terrible pain in my hand.   One of my joints appeared to be inflamed and swollen. 

You would think that with all the prayer and study…the turning to God with my whole heart…I would have been "on it" without a moment's lapse of confidence in God's presence -- but I wasn't.   I was terrified.  This was my Achilles heel…or should I say Achilles hand.  My grandmother had struggled with severe arthritis which appeared, at least to me as a teenager, as quite crippling.   I myself had spent many months in pain before experiencing a life-affirming healing of this very disease almost ten years earlier (I have included the verified report of this healing as it appeared in print and online publications…below).  And I had a loved one whose hand had been so affected by this disease that joints had to be replaced surgically in order to perform even them most basics tasks.  

If you had asked me the day before if I still harbored any lingering fears about arthritis in my own thinking, I would have answered "no" with absolute confidence.  I had experienced a healing, I was free, I knew what was true about my right to live and move freely as God's Love-impelled and motivated child.  But when my hand seemed to seize up yesterday I was quite shaken. 

At first I dismissed the pain as ridiculous…hadn't I already seen this disease for what it was -- a suggestion of God's absence in my life -- in anyone's life -- trying to stop us from doing what God had purposed us to be and do? But as each movement became more difficult and even holding a pen began to be torturous I really struggled to maintain that spiritual poise. 

I humbly called out to my husband, "please pray with me" and he assured me, without asking any questions, that he would.  Then I turned back to my Bible study.  And there, in the first citation was a much-loved and familiar passage from Ephesians…but yesterday it revealed itself to me in a completely new way:

"…now are ye light in the Lord…"

Every other time…prior to that moment…when I have read this statement I have thought of the word "light" in terms of radiance, illumination.  But this time I thought of "light" as burdenless, weightless, moving freely.  And it wasn't just an sentence I was reading, it was as if I was FEELING this truth deep within me. Right now I was light, right now there was nothing for me to control, make happen, forward, initiate, to do or be, or know for anyone.  God was doing all the doing.  He was doing all the "heavy lifting" in my life…in this office.  There was no pressure to put on, or hold back from…to be something for someone or something.  And if I was light in the Lord…so was everyone else.  There was no one for me to motivate, urge out of bed, encourage to do the right thing…even myself.   God was, is, and always will be in control.  

These thoughts were breathtakingly freeing.  The pain didn't disappear immediately…but the sense of burden I had been feeling about many things just dissipated like the mist over a mountain meadow when the morning sun warms the air.

Later that evening, as we were sitting in our cozy circle of chairs and sofa at our storefront church…with a dog on the rug in the middle of us all, one child in his makeshift "fort" in the corner of the room, and our twins working on homework while listening to the service…I realized that I was completely free from any discomfort.  I had been playing with the cap on my pen, hand poised to jot down inspiration during the testimonies, in a way that would have been impossible to do without pain earlier in the day.  I also realized that I hadn't even given it another moment of concern once I realized that I truly was "light" in the Lord…and not only was I was light in the Lord, I was light in the Lord, now!!! 

I am so grateful.  This truth is not just true for me…but because it is of God, who is All-in-all…it is a universal truth, a science, a law…and like the law of gravity it is not selective or partial…it is in operation…at all times…for me, and mine, and all!  I don't have to make it true…nothing I do or say can make it more true…it just is.  And my job…I get to hold hands with those who need company on the journey…to point out the beautiful scenery along the way…and to remind them, when the road is long, that our God who loves us, is all-powerful and always present.

"So on we go.
His welfare is my concern.
No burden is he, to bear,
We'll get there.
For I know
He would not encumber me at all
He ain't heavy, he's my brother."

Thank you dear Father-Mother of us all,
Kate

"No time for arthritis"
(First published in October 2004)

At almost fifty, I was the mother of three daughters, a pre-teen girl and year-old twins. We lived in a large old house with stairs at every turn. I was finding it harder and harder to climb those stairs.

My husband remembered that I "couldn't go forward without resting." My mother, who often stayed over to help with the twins, recalls how  sometimes had to have help getting up and down the stairs. And it was often a struggle for me to pick up the twins.

I wanted to find a spiritual solution. I'm a longtime reader of the Bible and Science and Health. These books have formed the foundation for my spiritual understanding. I had often turned to prayer for answers throughout my life, and I hoped that prayer could help in this situation too.

So I began to pray about what I felt was my divine right to be free from this crippling condition, based on my understanding of God and my spiritual identity.

I have come to know God as the very law of harmony, action and movement. This was a solid foundation for my stand against this debilitating condition. I thought about how my spiritual identity wasn't defined merely by feet and ankles, knees and shoulders, but by the spiritual resources of joy, gratitude, gentleness, strength, endurance, flexibility-the great goodness that God freely gives to me and everyone.

Sticking to my prayers took a concerted effort, and it wasn't always easy. There were still times when the pain in my joints had me scooting down the stairs on my bottom, crawling up them on my hands and knees, or just avoiding them altogether.

One day I asked my mom, who has also found prayer to be a practical solution to problems throughout her life, whether she'd ever suffered from the challenges I was facing. An active hiker and climber, she was free from any arthritic symptoms. She was also a widow who had raised eight children.

Her response to my query was thoughtful but firm. "Honey," she said, "I just didn't have time for that."

That was it. And as simple as that sounds, her answer propelled my prayers forward. I realized I didn't have to make time for this either. I had three active girls to chase after, a business to attend to and countless volunteer commitments to fulfill.

Meanwhile, I appreciated my husband and my mother's support of my spiritual growth.

A persistent voice in my heart kept reminding me I didn't have to give in to this disease. So instead of worrying, I spent my time thinking about my spiritual nature, my spiritual wholeness and natural right functioning.

The change came, and it wasn't a big dramatic, waking-up-one-morning change. But little by little I was able to do more and more than I previously could do. And within a short time, the pain faded until it left completely.

As my husband later said to a friend, "I couldn't tell you exactly when the change took place. But she had a lot of pain, and then she didn't. I remember how Kate rejoiced when she was able to pick up the twins again."

Today my oldest daughter is 15 and the twins are seven. I wear strappy little sandals, bound up bleachers for volleyball games and run the mile in 27 minutes (okay, so I have some work to do on speed).