"This is no time for fear
This is the time for faith and determination..
Hold on to all that you hide in your heart
There is one thing that has always been true
It holds the world together
God is in control
God is in control
We believe that His children will not be forsaken
God is in control
We will choose to remember and never be shaken
There is no power above or beside Him,
God is in control…"
Things were falling apart in my life. But not in the obvious crashing and burning kind of way. This was more like a sweater unraveling from a hundred different places. If I tried to catch a thread on the sleeve…the buttons fell off. All the while I wore the mask of "control". Everyone in my life assumed that I had it under control, that I was "on top of it" or "all over it"…I didn't and I wasn't. I was barely hanging on by a thread…just like the button on that sweater.
One day as I drove to my office I just wanted to keep on driving. I didn't think I could keep it all together for one more hour. I just needed a place where I could go have a good cry and not give my family anything to worry about. I was listening to a mix collection of inspirational songs that I had been given and Twila Paris' "God is in Control" roused me from the litany of "You have got to get yourself under control"…a hypnotic loop that was cycling through my head like a mantra...and woke me from the nightmare of thinking that it was all about me and my thinking, me and my control over things.
I picked up the chorus in moments and before I knew it I had joined Twila from the front seat of the Jeep, singing at the top of my lungs like a big-haired backup singer. "God is in control, we will choose to remember and never be shaken…" It felt good to lift my voice, heart, and hands in praise honoring Him. This song became my theme song. I didn't need to get things under control. I just needed to know that God was omnipotent and that He was the only Cause and Creator…not only of my experience or my family's situation…but of everyone's. Every person who shared with me their personal sadness, private fears, concerns about finances, worries about health, apprehension about life changes…were really only asking for me to "remember and never be shaken"…for them, with them, beside them. My journey through the valley of the shadow of death…the death of my peace, the death of my view of myself as being "in control", the death of an image that was, by it's very nature, not true…gave me a road map for helping others. It wasn't my job to "fix" my life or anyone else's…it was my privilege to bear witness to God's control in all things…for all of us.
For me this is what Jesus was referring to when he said,
"I can of mine own self do nothing
But what I seeth the Father do…"
And what Mary Baker Eddy encourages us to do when she writes in Science and Health:
"All that is made is the work of God, and all is good. We leave this brief glorious history of spiritual creation…in the hands of God, not of man, in the keeping of Spirit, not of matter, -- joyfully acknowledging now and forever God's supremacy, omnipotence, and omnipresence."
It was shared with me recently that a very experienced spiritual healer was once asked about how she viewed her long career. She replied that in the early years she was certain that she was working for God. Then after a number of years it became clear to her that she was, in actuality, working with God. But now, she said, "I know that I am really just watching God work."
When we really know that God is omnipotent, omnipresent, and supreme – is in control -- what is there left to do but "watch God work"…or as Jesus said, "what I seeth the Father do"…and be grateful.
"...He has never let you down
Why start to worry now?
He is still the Lord of all we see
And He is still the loving Father
Watching over you and me
watching over you..watching over me..
every little sparrow..every little thing..."