Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Something Simple

"Something simple's all I ask for
Something simple's all I need
And when I find it I will surely know
Something simple shouldn't be
this hard to fall on me
Something simple's all I ask for
all I need…"

- Mary Huckins

Sometimes a song will come into my life so serendipitously that I am certain I have felt the breath of God on the back of my neck and I smile in recognition of His touch.   So it is with Mary Huckins' "Something Simple."  Recorded with her band Dakota Blonde on the 2000 release of their first CD of the same title, I hear it calling me home to a place of uncluttered stillness, a purpose defined by silence,  and an unshakeable inner peace.

The "ac" words that once defined success for me…accomplishment, accreditation, accretion, accrual, acclaim, acculturation, accumulation, acquisition, acceptance…are no longer able to push and prod me into disingenuous behavior.   There was a time, not too long ago, when "acceptance" alone…at the expense of all else… seemed more vital than living with emotional integrity and courage.   But these "howling of the hounds" words that once snapped at my heels while I ran towards a goal I never took the time to examine, are now nothing more than the impotent yipping of toothless suggestions which would have kept me running forever.   When I stopped and turned to face them head-on, they cowered in the light of what my heart really longed for….something simple.

I realized that an hour in the sun with my own thoughts was much more satisfying than a movie or even a great book.  That holding my daughters through the night while they slept…hearing them breathe and watching their eyelids flutter and fall silent as dreams washed across their slumber…was more joy than I could ever have imagined when the applause and admiration of others seemed to be a goal worth achieving.

The other night my daughter  called at 1am from South Africa (8am her time) just to say "Happy Mother's Day" at the beginning of her day.  How could she know that those few minutes of hearing her voice, still heavy with sleep, would be more precious than platinum or diamonds or gold.  Just a moment spent with  the sweet sound of her yawning, from 12,000-mile-away, was a gift from God.

"…Well I think it would be fine
just to sit awhile with you
and let the timeless hours slip right by
I don't often let them go
without trying to hang on
But something simple here
is what I long for…"

I'm learning that a walk in the park with our children on a Sunday afternoon…watching them swing as high as the clouds or kick a stone from the History Museum to the stoplight, hearing our son laugh when his sisters put an ice cube down his back or getting a call from our oldest daughter... placed in the middle of her grown-up San Francisco Sunday…would be more sweet than chocolate and add more fragrance to my life than roses.

"…In the middle of my silence
well I know there's something more
than those around me cannot lend my way
For they too are in this searching
in the silence, in the noise
In the middle of my search
for something more…" 

A beam of sunlight across our bed in the morning through the stained glass transoms, or a three-word prayer shared by a fellow healer who has answered the phone when my heart needs comfort…are more wealth than I could have ever imagined…

Sometimes when we are stripped of all the sparkly garments of accomplishment and praise...garments we once thought made us worthy of good...and we find ourselves standing naked with our true desires, we can feel the sweet breath of God on the back of our necks and we realize that it really is something simple we always wanted.

"…Something simple's all I ask for
Something simple's all I need
And when I find it I will surely know
Something simple shouldn't be
this hard to fall on me
Something simple's all I ask for
all I need..

…Breathe into me
Breath into me…please."

- Mary Huckins


with Love,
Kate

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous3:32 PM

    This gave me goose bumps. It is exactly where I am in life. Finished with being somebody. Wanting just to be. And I am seeing that it takes moral courage to say no to anything that draws me into that people-pleasing whirlwind of distraction and distress. Thanks Kate!

    Carol in Maine

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  2. Anonymous3:10 AM

    Kate,
    Thank you for continuing your inspiring blog. I almost deleted mine again. I'm posting this as "annomous" because I have a favor that I don't want people to identify with me (but I think you know who this is). Could you please write a post about depression (anxiety)? I have been really struggling with being consistently good, but something comes up, and then I'm in bed all day and accomplish NOTHING. Sometimes I really just feel like the world would be better without me. I just can't seem to think clearly at ALL sometimes, and just want to sleep all day and do nothing at all. Please, please, please... if you have anything to share about the growing problem of "depression" to share with the world, it could really help some people (me especially). Thank you very much, and I really appreciate everything that you have written.

    ~Tim

    P.S. I posted the same comment on Laura's blog also.

    ReplyDelete