"Dream it...anyway..."

"My Father worketh hitherto
And I work..."
- Jesus Christ

Anyone who has had the joy of hearing Martina McBride perform “Anyway”(click on this link to watch the inspiring video) from her new Wake Up Laughing CD, which hits the stores today, will know why this song is the keynote of today’s post.   I believe it's what Jesus’ message of love was all about.  Jesus encourages us, through his humble example, to live lives of love, of generosity and grace…not as a means to an end, but because it is who we are.  

I haven’t read The Secret and I pray that those who have found hope in its message, continue to be blessed. But for me life isn’t about praying, or thinking, or focusing on good in order to get good… good something or anything.   For me, I pray because it is who I am.  Faith and hope aren’t a pathway towards fulfillment and success…they are the success. They are the very substance of all that I desire and dream to have…”a faith that will not shrink when pressed by every 'foe'.”  To feel hunger for peace, to long for joy, to ache for mercy…to have loved for the sheer joy of learning that I am capable of loving…not in order to “get” someone to love me in return, but because it is life itself…is a breathtaking view of myself as God’s daughter.   This is "the secret"  practiced by most of my role models...Mandela, Ghandi, Mother Theresa...and, I think...you.

When my marriage of over twenty years ended… after we had both worked so long and hard…I felt like such a failure.  There were moments when I felt as if I had spent all those years on my knees in prayer... in vain...or hadn't prayed enough.  But one day, while praying,  it became so clear to me that we had not failed for one moment to try...to give it our all...in giving it all to God.  We had not failed in waking up each day with great hope in our hearts.  We had never ceased to have faith that God would give each of us a clear “answer of peace”.  Moreover, through it all we never failed to love our children with every bit of our being.   When it did become clear what needed to take place, it was, I believe, our love for one another, not dissatisfaction or hurt, that allowed us to move forward with grace and dignity.  No matter what it looked like to others. 

"...You can spend your whole life
building something from nothing
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
that seems so out of reach
and you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great, but sometimes life ain’t good
And when I pray
it doesn’t always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway,
I do it anyway..."

After our son’s birthmother chose to parent him,  rescinding her provisional surrender, there were many concerned friends (and family members) who asked me if I regretted having poured my heart and soul into caring for her during her pregnancy, being her birthing partner and loving/nursing "our" son while she came to her decision.  They wanted to know if I would have given less, not loved as much, held back my heart a little more.  No.  I wouldn’t trade one moment of that experience for the freedom from the pain of having given of myself so completely, surrendered so willingly, and having wept so honestly…because I loved him….and her….with all my heart.  And moreover,  through that experience I learned that the heart, my heart, is a very flexible muscle and it has the capacity to expand beyond what the world (with all its conditions) would tell me it is capable of.   I now know that the suggestions which would try to say "I will love completely, but only if things turn out this way..." are just that...suggestions.  Love is not conditional...we can always love more.   And sometimes that love tells us to surrender, to let go, to walk away...out of love.

"This world’s gone crazy
and it’s hard to believe
that tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart,
for all the right reasons,
and in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love ‘em anyway

God is great,
but sometimes life ain’t good
And when I pray
it doesn’t always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway,
I do it anyway

I remember working my first presidential campaign.  I knocked on doors, passed out flyers, handed out buttons, marched in rallies and stayed up many nights folding leaflets…and my candidate didn’t win.  But would I trade all that I learned about myself as a passionately invested citizen for a few more nights in front of the television watching some 70’s sitcom instead of hitting the streets talking about my candidate's platform or working at campaign headquarters?  Never.  I campaigned because it was who I was…and it is who I am today.  I wanted to make a difference then…and I want to make a difference now.  It’s who I am...I’d do it anyway, and so would you…because we love this carzy world, we love our sons and daughters, we love our friends and family, we love one another....strangers on the street… and even more importantly we love God and are so blessed to have these opportunities to show our love for Him through this loving, hoping, giving, dreaming...singing.. 

So maybe, when we hear this song we can smile inside and remind ourselves that life is all about being true to ourselves, to our loved ones, our world and our God…not as a means to an end, but because it’s who we are.  And no matter what anyone else thinks or does, we have the right to love, live, laugh, dance, trust, dream, hope, pray…anyway.

"...You can pour your soul out singing
a song you believe in
that tomorrow they’ll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway,
sing it anyway

I sing, I dream, I love…."

...I write …anyway

with Love,
Kate