"I need not plead..."

"…Abide with me; fast breaks the morning light;
Our daystar rises, banishing all night;
Thou art our strength, O Truth that maketh free,
We would unfailingly abide in Thee.

I know no fear, with Thee at hand to bless,
Sin hath no power and life no wretchedness;
Health, hope and love in all around I see
For those who trustingly abide in Thee.

I know Thy presence every passing hour,
I know Thy peace, for Thou alone art power;
O Love divine, abiding constantly,
I need not plead, Thou dost abide with me…"
-     Lyte/Woods

This is the song that often comes to me, in the middle of the night, when my body...or spirit...are sore.  The last verse is a reliable life preserver in the midst of a raging inner storm.  It is what I can be found clinging to when I am laid low by pain or sorrow, confusion or doubt.

I needed this reminder, "I need not plead, Thou dost abide with me," one night not long ago when the sky was pre-dawn with the blue of an ocean a mile deep.  It's a color I associate with the feeling of being so far underwater that you lose your sense of which way is up.  Diving with weights it is sometimes almost impossible, at certain depths, to know whether you are swimming deeper into an abyss, or towards the surface.  This disorientation can leave you feeling frantic and unable to use your limited air supply wisely.

Any diver knows that if you lose your sense of direction underwater there are laws that you can rely on. There is a law of buoyancy which, when you drop your weights, will take you to the surface.  This same law will also inform your underwater compass.  Watching the direction air bubbles from your respirator are traveling, you can discern what is "up"!

I thought about both these examples in those hours of pre-dawn when I was struggling and unable to find direction for my prayers...or rest for my body.  Discomfort had me swimming in circles.  I just wanted to be able to think clearly.  I needed to rest and I longed to feel that I was resting upon spiritually inspired laws rather than just resting from exhaustion and pain. 

That was when the line, "I need not plead Thou dost abide with me…" came like a strong hand upon my shoulder.  I had been swimming about frantically looking for "which way is up", thinking that without my effort in the right direction...prayerfully and practically…I could be headed deeper and deeper towards drowning in a dark chasm.  This thought, "I need not plead, Thou dost abide with me…" was like watching my air bubbles rise towards certain light and air. 

It allowed me to let go of the weights that were holding me down…the weight of thinking that if I didn't think the right thought, pray the right prayer, or make the right human decision, God couldn't help me…and rise towards the light of His all-powerful, always present care and guidance.

I didn't need to plead.  I didn't need to swim frantically in the depths of chaos and old night searching for the light.  I only needed to drop the weight of thinking it was up to me to do the doing, think the thinking, or pray the prayer.  Prayer was, and is, as Mary Baker Eddy says, "…God's gracious means for accomplishing whatever has been successfully for the Christianization and health of mankind."  So prayer isn't my means for pleading with God, but His means for reminding me that He is God, that He is always present, that He does love me, and that He has all the power in the universe to successfully accomplish His will for health (wholeness, wellness, completeness, perfection) and Christianization (kindness, honesty, compassion, selflessness, purity, innocence, temperance, joy…) in my life…and in the universe. 

My rest came and when it was time to wake the girls up for school I was ready for a full day of work, family and gratitude.

Just as the light of a new day will always follow that beautiful deep, rich blue of pre-dawn, we can be just as certain that we need not plead…He does abide with us.  We can drop the weights and rise to the light that is always there. 

Abiding with Him…always,
Kate