"And the river's like my body now..."

"In the ever-shifting water

of the river of this life

I was swimming, seeking comfort;

I was wrestling waves to find

A boulder I could cling to,

a stone to hold me fast

Where I might let the fretful water

of this river 'round me pass



And so I found an anchor,

a blessed resting place

A trusty rock I called my savior,

for there I would be safe

From the river and its dangers,

and I proclaimed my rock divine

And I prayed to it "protect me"

and the rock replied:



God is a river, not just a stone

God is a wild, raging rapids

And a slow, meandering flow

God is a deep and narrow passage

And a peaceful, sandy shoal

God is the river, swimmer

So let go



Still I clung to my rock tightly

with conviction in my arms

Never looking at the stream

to keep my mind from thoughts of harm

But the river kept on coming,

kept on tugging at my legs

Till at last my fingers faltered,

and I was swept away



So I'm going with the flow now,

these relentless twists and bends

Acclimating to the motion,

and a sense of being led

And this river's like my body now,

it carries me along

Through the ever-changing scenes

and by the rocks that sing this song



God is a river, not just a stone

God is a wild, raging rapids

And a slow, meandering flow

God is a deep and narrow passage

And a peaceful, sandy shoal

God is the river, swimmer

So let go



God is the river, swimmer

So let go ..."

- Peter Mayer

Sometimes you think a song just says it all...until an angel comes along, all dressed in stripey leggings and short skirts, sassy dresses and western boots...and she leaves a poem on your pillow to sing you to sleep while you dream along the river's edge, Sam Hopple wrote this poem, and sent it along today. I am so grateful she was willing to let me share her beautiful words:



she breathes in the water of the arkansas valley

flowing with the current over mossed rocks and sleeping boulders

her path is sometimes met by churning and sharp wavelengths

slamming her to shore and caking her with mud

a strong faith calls her to dive back head first

and the moment she arrives in the space of a placid eddie

she is peaceful



down the stream she dances

gliding in perfect rhythm to the beat of the stream

a melody shines forth

and she joins the chorus...

like a river song....



I have nothing to add to this...it is practically perfect in every way...



Kissing your eyelids goonight...sweet dreams in London town Miss Samantha Demarest King Hopple. The River and the Valley are waiting for you to fly in from the East on the angel wings you discovered in a little shoppe on Carnaby Street.Your mommy and daddy would be so proud of you, and your devotion to all that they stand for...goodness, faith, strength in adversity, peace in a storm, children on horses, in cabins, rafts...and the River...oh, how they love that River!!



thank you for honoring me with your words,



mum

Kate Robertson, CS



Another friend suggested that I include this link to,"God is a River...let go"a post written in 2007 about Peter Mayer's amazing song.

"...let her love you sweetly..."

I don't think I have ever posted a something that was written by someone else...but my sweet Sam has penned this piece:  It is our story. A story that only she could have written. I am honored to share it with you in hopes that it will inspire you to persist in loving those people in your life who may not seem to want it...you never know when it will make a difference

"Instead of acting crazy
chasing things that make you mad
Just keep your heart ahead,
it'll lead you back to what you have
With every step you are closer
to the place you need to be
But it's up to you to let her love you sweetly

Instead of feeling bad
Be glad you've got someone to love
Instead of feeling sad
Be happy there's a God above
Instead of feeling 'lone
Remember you are never on your own..."
- Madeleine Peyroux

Yes, this song, "Instead" by Madeleine Peyroux, has its slight romantic connotations.  But for me, it stems from a lot of "letting go", and not fighting the love that someone shows you.

I remember the day that i first started to accept the love from well...my mum.

The story of how she became my mum is quite complex.  But in a nutshell, she and my birthmother were the best of friends.  When i was a baby our family was hit by a drunk driver.  Kate was by my mom's bedside until she passed away.  She has loved and looked out for me in different ways ever since. Ways that i did not even know about until now, and i am still learning the extent of it all.

In my camper days at Adventure Unlimited I remember this "Kate lady" was always very present.  I knew Kate had a significant role somewhere in my life, because my grandmother would always say "Say hi to Kate and give her my love" each year before i left for camp.  I never did.

I noticed her around when I was about 14 and moved up to Round Up, the camp for high schoolers.  I would be sitting at breakfast in Valerie Lodge with my cabin, and see her staring at me from the "table of the hierarchy", as i called it.  I would either stare back, shoot her a look of disgust, or pretend i didn't notice and avoid her gaze all together.  One day in the lodge, Kate approached me and wanted to talk to me.  She told me that she and my parents had been friends, and if i ever wanted to talk about them she was there.  I tensed up and gave her a simple "ok thanks" answer.  I didn't talk to her that summer.  I wasn't ready for it.

My parents were a topic that I never wanted to talk about.  I think it was because nobody in my family ever talked about it either.  Kate, being the practitioner at camp gave inspirational talks before we went out on out 3-day camping trips.  I remember it being a pattern each year for her to somehow mention my mother in these talks.  I was so terrified each time i sat on a cushion on the floor with my friends and counselors.  I was afraid Kate would talk about my parents and i would cry.  I hated crying and being pitied.  I needed to be strong.

Before she started her talks, Kate would look into the crowd and talk about campers and counselors that she knew.  She would say something she remembered about them, or loved about them before she began speaking.  I remember the way she looked at me.  Eyes as blue, sharp, and intense as ice.  Her facial expression was warm and inviting...but the eyes...it was a look that penetrated your depths, and saw into your soul.

My last summer as a camper I sat down on the floor and listened to her speak.  I can't remember exactly what this talk was about.  It could have been the popular "sex and eric" story, the $20 bill story, or the one about my mother approving of her marriage.  All I know is that after that talk,  I needed to finally say something to this woman.  This woman who I knew loved me so much, loved me as much as her own children.

After my counselor, Tina, had finished talking to her (when the talk was over) I shyly went up to her and said, "I liked your talk tonight".  I hugged her and walked away.  This was our main interaction that summer.  But for me this was the pivotal moment when i had "let her love me sweetly", and let go of the negativity i associated with her presence in my life.   All she wanted to do was love me, and i was going to let her. 

The next summer we had a talk that would allow our relationship to blossom into the mother-daughter relationship we have today.  This cherished relationship is ever evolving, ever changing, ever growing.  I am so grateful for it.  Thank you mum for all you do for me.  You're beauty-full.

I love you...
Sam

I love you too Sam.  Letting yourself be loved takes courage...I think your mom would be very proud of you tonight...dad too. I know I am...but then, I always have been. Hugs,

Mum
Kate Robertson, CS