"It was enough..."

A friend sent me this remarkable poem from a recent issue of the Christian Science Sentinel.  It was written by 14th-century Persian Sufi poet Hafiz (translation by Shahriar Shahriari):

"I have learned so much from God
That I can no longer call myself
a Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Buddhist, a Jew.
The Truth has shared so much of Itself with me
That I can no longer call myself
a man, a woman, an angel, or even a pure soul.
Love has...freed me
Of every concept and image my mind has ever known."

This poem resonates with me at such a visceral level that I am paralyzed by the intimacy of its ability to see through to the deepest places in my heart.  Yet, I am also mobilized by the sense of community and shoulder-to-shoulder hope for humanity I feel when realizing that I am not alone in this sentiment.  I have a brother in Hafiz and, I trust, in many of you.

I was talking with a young friend in my office yesterday afternoon and she asked me for my “take” on a particular social issue.  I looked at her and realized that the old me would have tried to come up with one. I would have tried to articulate my position and shared with her how I had come to that place through research, reason, revelation, and personal experience.  But yesterday it all seemed so pointless to share.  God would lead her to her own conclusions in the way that would leave her with a more intimate sense of His voice in her heart…even if that path took her through “the valley of the shadow”. 

In fact Rabbi Harold Kushner, in his recent book, The Lord is My Shepherd, suggests that there is a relational shift in the 23rd Psalm* from talking about God, to a more intimate sense of talking with Him…following the walk through the valley.  Why would I ever impose my opinions, suggestions, or positions on someone if it might deprive them of their own journey towards greater intimacy with their divine Parent?   So I told her I really didn’t have a take on how she might view the issue…as I was also still listening and praying for the moment by moment inspiration that would guide and direct my own choices and decisions.

What I really wanted to tell her was how much her kindness had meant to me in the past year.  How much I looked forward each week to her eager smile and her gentle heart.  What I thought about Iraq, same-sex marriage, tax reform, etc. held no real value for her…and it held but marginal value for me.  What mattered in the grand scheme of things was that I loved and that she loved.  And because God was the source and condition of all love and is all-powerful, we could trust God--Love--to be motivating others wisely and compassionately, thus freeing us to occupy ourselves with what, as Mary Baker Eddy says  "we most need":

“…. fervent desire for growth in grace,
expressed in patience, meekness, love and good deeds.”

Ask me about my journey towards patience with myself and the surrender of self-certainly. Ask me about the effect that your kindness has had on my sense of what it means for me to be Christian in my behavior.  Ask me what I am learning about the opportunities that we  (you and I…not a faceless them) have for restoring hope through compassion and consideration. 

What I am really learning is that my opinions about social and political, religious and relationship issues have but fleeting, if any, value…what really counts is Love.  What does Love--God--tell me, directly and intimately, that I have the right to express, to be, to do?  Directing the thoughts, opinions, paths or journeys of others?  Well, I think I best leave that to Him.  Even when the invitation to share my "position" is so genuine, my words will never give someone the real “bread of life”, the manna which fills the heart--His voice.   What I can share are snapshots from my journey…postcards of what the view looks like from here, and a reminder that we each have our own sacred guidebooks for mapping out a travel itinerary that is unique ours. 

I truly yearn for Eddy’s "Daily Prayer", my daily bread,  to become an assimilated part of the body of my being.  It reads:

"Thy kingdom come;”
let the reign of divine Truth, Life, and Love
be established in me,
and rule out of me all sin;
and may Thy Word
enrich the affections of all mankind,
and govern them!

Not my word or words, but His Word…

It no longer matters to me whether I “get it right” in this world…or whether you do.  What matters to me is Love…am I letting Love be the one and only reason for my being. 

So I told my young friend about how, one morning the previous Spring, it was her warm smile and generous hug in the college concourse that made a difference in the way I felt about myself and the work I do and love.  I told her that her kindness was a gift more precious than gold to me.

She smiled.

It was enough.


Kate

*This is a link to my niece, Lily's, beautiful performance of the 23rd Psalm. I hope you enjoy it. The story that goes with this clip is linked here. "

Perfect...or enough...or both?

Yesterday's blog sent me searching for a book I had read some years ago titled, How Good Do We have to Be?
by Harold S. Kushner, also the author of best-selling When Bad Things Happen to Good People...another favorite.

In it Kushner shares, in discussing forgiveness of ourselves when we are concerned that we haven't been perfect as caregivers, ministers, therapists, parents:

"Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, a California physician, describes how master psychologist Carl Rogers would approach a therapeutic encounter:  'There is something I do before I start a session.  I let myself know that I am enough.  Not perfect. Perfect wouldn't be enough.  But that I am human, and that is enough.  There is nothing this man can say or do or feel that I can't feel in myself.  I can be with him.  I am enough.'

Dr. Remen adds, 'I was stunned by this.  It felt as if some old wound in me, some fear of not being good enough, had come to an end.  I knew inside myself that what he said was absolutely true.  I am not perfect, but I am enough.  Knowing that allows healing to happen.' "

Hmmmm....I have been thinking to myself for years.  If God made me perfect...how can "enough" and "not perfect" be true and right. 

I have held Perfection as my model for so long..."perfect God and perfect man", as Mary Baker Eddy states in her book Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, "as the basis of thought and demonstration".  How do I reconcile these two "healing" approaches to caring for the needs of humanity without feeling conflict.

My hunger for this feeling of "being enough" and yet working out from the standpoint of "perfection" led me to a very responsible friend...the dictionary...

So often, I think, we are hamstrung by "language"....we say the same words and think we are agreeing on the definitions that we attach to those words.  I have found that a clarification of language issues, or even a new perspective on the meaning of words can often build bridges for me when I feel like two points of view are very divergent.  This was the case for me in thinking about the definition of the word "perfect".  One dictionary that I have often gone to, when I am looking for this kind of bridging,  has given me a definition of "perfect" that serves as a building block for this bridge when it said "complete, wanting nothing".  Ahh.  When I think of being "enough"...I can consider that it might mean  having enough compassion, understanding, gentleness, wisdom...for that very moment.  I may not be "accessing",  at that moment,  the Allness of the divine, but I will be anointed with all that I need to meet the friend, family member, patient's need for my humanness...my kindness, care, understanding and compassion. 

I will be enough in that moment because I trust that the Divine has sent both of us into eachother's lives to reveal more of our "perfection" within the context of that moment of concrescence...of coming together for a wholly divine purpose.

Mary Baker Eddy also gives me some clues on how I might view this when she says, "As a drop of water in one with the ocean...so God and man...are one in being."  What is consistently the same between a drop of water and an ocean of water is the elemental balance. H2O...not H3O or HO2....but always H2O.  One drop,  or  a bazillion drops, H2O....if it changes...it's not water.  But a drop of water can have different uses, or offices, because of what it is needed to do and be in a moment of need.  The same drop of H2O to a flower can be food, and to a child's dirty hands can be cleansing and to a fish can be breathable, and to the thirsty it can quench that thirst.  The same completeness... different offices... and in each office or demand...it is enough for that moment's need.

So are we...each of us completely whole, imbued with all of the character and qualities of the Divine, but we don't have to worry about needing to BE the divine allness for another....we just need to know that from the depths of  that completeness we will be enough in the moment of need.

And so I can forgive...myself...and trust that I will be enough of perfection (complete, wanting nothing) every moment....

And this is enough for today's blog.


K