"Remember surrender..."

"Remember surrender?
Remember the rest.
Remember that weight
lifting off of your chest.
And realizing that it's not up to you...
and it never was...."

Sometimes a song, like Sara Grove's "Remember Surrender," captures the tone, texture, and colors of what is going on in my heart...so well...that I have little more to say than...thank you.  I am going to let these lyrics speak first...

"Remember surrender?
Remember relief?
Remember how tears rolled down
both of your cheeks?
As the warmth of a heavenly father
came closing in.

"I want to do that again.
Why can't I just live there,
And make my home
in sweet surrender?
I want to do so much more
than remember..."

"Remember surrender?
Remember the peace?
Remember how soundly
you fell fast asleep?
In the face of your troubles
your future still shone
like the morning sun.

"Remember surrender?
Remember that sound..
of all of those voices inside dying down?
But the one who speaks clearly
of helping and healing you deep within.

"I want to do that again.
Why can't I live there?
And make my home
in the space of sweet surrender.
I want to do so much more
than remember...

So surrender...."

There have been times when it felt like "remembering," suddenly shifts into something akin to a haunting, before I've been able to detect the mask.  When it does, I am often snookered into believing that I just have to turn off the "remembering" switch altogether, and then babble a distracting "la, la, la, la..."  in my head until my thoughts are clear again.  And I have to admit, that it hasn't always been easy. 

But, I am learning that its the perfect opportunity to exercise Jesus' message of:

"I am not come to destroy...but to fulfill."

I don't have to array myself for a battle with the concept of remembering, I just have to reclaim it for God.  I can remember all the ways that I have experienced God's mercy, been surprised by His grace, healed by His reminder: "I am with thee," and touched by the gentle strength of His presence.

I can remember what it feels like to surrender into His arms.  I can remember the peace that comes with surrendering all my worrying, and planning, to his wisdom.  I can remember that the greatest gift I can bring to the altar, is my absolute trust in His nature as infinite, unyielding, inexhaustible Love.

I can remember the joy of complete surrender...silence, stillness, a quiet...

sigh...

Kate